No Quiero Para Siempre Solo Te Quiero Para Vida
by notashamedtobe
Summary: What if when Edward sent Jake the wedding invitation, he didn't run away like a pansy? What if he went and confronted him? What if when Bella found out, she decided that enough was enough? Jake tells them he's leaving. Bella tells them not without her.
1. Chapter 1

**_This is a new fic which takes place during Eclipse. Thanks to my awesome beta, Shelby Sue, for providing me with the background information because I'm a pussy and refuse to even crack open the book. All characters belong to SM along with the Twilight series. If they belonged to me, Bella would have made the right choice. The first few paragraphs are directly from the book as my lead in. Enjoy._**

It was some heavy, stiff paper. Expensive. Too fancy for Forks. The card inside was the same, too done-up and formal. Bella'd had nothing to do with this. There was no sign of her personal taste in the layers of see-through, petal printed pages. I'd bet she didn't like it at all. I didn't read the words, not even to see the date. I didn't care.

There was a piece of thick ivory paper folded in half with my name handwritten in black ink on the back. I didn't recognize the handwriting, but it was as fancy as the rest of it. For half a second, I wondered if the blood-sucker was into gloating. I flipped it open.

_Jacob,_

I'm breaking all the rules by sending you this. She was afraid of hurting you, and she didn't want to make you feel obligated in any way. But I know that, if things had gone the other way, I would have wanted the choice.

I promise I will take care of her, Jacob. Thank you -- for her -- for everything.

Edward

I begin to crumple the note in my hand but stop myself. I don't even look at the invitation as I shove it all back inside the goddamn envelope. My dad is looking at me with concern on his face. "Jake?"

I shake my head. I can feel tears burn my eyes but I refuse to shed another tear for Isabella Marie Swan. Enough is enough. I look at my dad and my voice cracks with emotion, "How can she do this? How can she marry the leech? After everything. Haven't I shown her how much I love her? Haven't I proved my worth?"

My dad sighs heavily, "Son..."

I hold a hand up to stop him. "I know. I know. She does love me but she needs him more. What the fuck for? I told her Dad. I told her that if I was just some normal guy and there were no monsters under the bed, she and I would be together. I'm her natural path. But you know what? She left. She tells me she loves me and just leaves. To go back to him. And then the motherfucker has the fucking balls to send me this shit? For what? He already broke me in the tent telling me that she's marrying him." I slam my hand on the table, the feel of the paper underneath making me ill.

Billy must see it in my eyes because he implores me not to go. "Jake, my boy. Don't do this. Please. She wouldn't want this."

That's what seals the deal for me. I smile at him. "You know what, dad? I'm tired of doing what she wants." I grab the envelope and my car keys. I hurry to my room. I grab a bag and shove some underwear, t-shirts, shorts, socks and what money I have in it. I grab my wallet and shove that in my back pocket. I head out the front door calling out, "Don't wait up for me."

The drive to the Cullens' does nothing to alleviate my anger. I turn into their driveway and throw the Rabbit in park. I unclench my hands from the steering wheel. I wince when I see the indentation marks I leave behind. I get out of the car and march up the front steps. Supposedly we're always welcome in their home. I take that to heart as I throw open the front door and slam it behind me. Edward's at the top of the stairs glaring at me with Bella standing behind him. My heart clenches at the sight of her. Then I focus on him and anger surges through me once again.

I toss the envelope to the floor. I sneer at the happy couple, "I just came to tell you that I won't be able to attend your nuptials. Thanks for the invite though."

Bella's eyes widen as she steps around Edward. She gasps at him, "You didn't."

Edward only has eyes for me though. In the blink of an eye, he's in my face. "You came here to start trouble? Didn't you, you filthy mongrel?"

I roll my eyes at him, "Only you think insults like that can hurt me. Mongrel? Motherfucker we live in the year 2010. Man up. I came here to pretty much tell you to go fuck yourself. I am done with this. I think you get perverse pleasure out of hurting people. You broke me when you let it 'slip' the two of you are engaged. You got a dig in at me by giving her that ridiculous charm to put on the bracelet I made her. No matter what, you have to keep shoving it in my face that she's with you. I get it. She's yours. You didn't have to be so callous as to send that to me." I motion to the envelope Bella has just picked up.

Bella steps in front of him. He averts his gaze. "You sent him one? Even though I asked, no begged, you not to? Why?"

Edward says nothing. I bark at her, "Open it. Read the note." Edward hisses at me and I stick the middle finger at him. Bella's eyes skim the delicate paper. She takes a step away from him giving me a view of her face. She's pissed. The anger on her face is comparable to mine. She crumples the note in her hand. She throws it in his face. Wasn't expecting that.

He whispers her name, "Bella, love."

She shakes her head. "Don't you dare 'love' me, Edward. How could you? I chose you. Why couldn't you let things be?"

I scoff at her, "Let things be? What the fuck are you talking about? You're marrying a dead person. His heart doesn't beat. He drinks blood to sustain a flimsy excuse of living. You're basically committing suicide to be with him. Those things? Fucking fantastic choice Bella. Really. Bravo." Her eyes fill with tears. I'm done. I throw my hands up. "I'm done with this crap. I'm tired of your tears. Over me? Bullshit. I'm especially tired over my tears that I can't seem to stop spending on you. You who don't want me." Her mouth opens but I cut her off. "Wait, you don't want me enough. Because I'm the guy who actually breathes. Because I'm the guy with a heart that beats for you. Because I'm the guy who can give you children and..." I stop when I feel myself tremble. I look into her eyes one last time. "I'm done Bella."

**BPOV - - -**

Oh please stop. His words cut me to the bone. Then he says my name. Bella. Not Bells. Just Bella.

He looks at me and I can't see my Jacob in those black eyes. His next words have my knees buckling, "I won't be attending the wedding. Sorry. I'm leaving and I don't know when I'll be back."

I reach out for him but he shrugs my hands away. "Jake. Jake, please, stop."

He moves towards the front door. "Good bye."

I call after him, "Don't go." I look at Edward quickly before finding my voice. "Not without me."

The silence that follows is deafening. Jacob turns around and I somehow manage to smile when I see the one thing I am desperate for in his eyes. Hope.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Not without me."_ Those words stop me. How can I leave when she says things like that? I try to bank down on the hope that courses through me fiercely. I can only pray as I turn around it's not in my eyes. The look of near desperation on her face causes my hands to clench into fists. I have to ask. I have to make certain that I'm not hearing things. Judging by the look of utter horror on the leech's face, he's suffering from the same figment of the imagination that I just heard. "What did you say?"

Bella swallows quickly, never taking her eyes off of my face. "I said not without me. If you're leaving, then so am I."

Edward grabs her arm to keep her by his side. "Bella, darling, what is the meaning of this? We are to be married in two month's time. This is not acceptable." God, how can she freaking stand him?

She tries to pull her arm away but his grip tightens. I growl low in my throat knowing only he can hear. "Edward let go of me. Look, this is ridiculous. Look at how you're acting. You went against my wishes. You've taken away my freedom. My choices."

He seems astonished by her accusations. "I have done..."

Her eyes narrow at him. "Don't you dare. You killed my engine so I couldn't go see Jake. You've had Alice hold me against my will so I couldn't go see him. Now this? This is the last straw. I need a break. I love you but I need a break." I feel my heart crack just a bit more. As if she can feel my pain, her face whips in my direction. I avert my gaze.

"Love, you can't be serious? I did all that to keep you safe. He's a young, impetuous thing. He can't control himself and I can't have you in harm's way. Did I not relent? Did I not allow you to go see him?" Banging job Eddie of making your case.

Her voice is nearly as frigid as his skin, "Relent? Allow me? I'm sorry but who the hell do you think you are?"

He pulls her closer and my growling gets louder. Loud enough that Bella looks at me quickly, begging me with her eyes to stay calm. "I am your fiancé. You are naive when it comes to him."

Her eyes fill with tears, "Do you think so little of me? Incapable of making my own choices?"

His voice becomes soothing and my heart clenches. This is when he makes her "see reason" and she falls for his crap all over again. "Of course not love. But I know better than you when it comes to this type of thing. I only care about your well-being."

Bella says nothing. She looks at where he has his vice grip on her arm. His eyes follow and he reluctantly lets go. She rubs her skin where his ice cold hand has been. I can't stomach this. I look at Bella. "I'm going to wait outside. Let me know what the deal is." I turn around and walk away.

**BPOV - - - **

Watching him walk out that front door nearly cripples me. I can't stay here any longer. My life is no longer my own. Even Alice feels like a stranger to me nowadays. She's no longer my "sister" but a goddamn babysitter. A warden of sorts. I look into Edward's eyes. "I have to go. You know that. We need space Edward. You're suffocating me. It doesn't feel like love anymore. I feel like a freaking pet."

He presses his forehead against mine. The ice cold temp of his body makes me jump slightly. He takes in a deep, useless, breath. "Bella, my love, couldn't Alice perhaps join the two of you?"

I take a step back, annoyance on my face. "That's not going to work and you know it. It would make Jake uncomfortable and make the whole needing space issue moot. And I need space away from her too. As the wedding draws nearer, she's getting more and more..." My voice trails off.

He smiles at me; that dazzling smile that makes me forget to breathe. Then I hear Jake slam his car door and I manage to take a step away from him. Edward frowns and looks at the closed door. "I understand. She can be a bit overbearing at times. I presume the same can be said about my behavior these past few weeks." His eyes narrow. "I just don't trust him Bella. We both know how he feels about you. About us."

I shrug my shoulders, tired of having the same argument over and over. "He is my best friend. He was there when you deserted me. He was there to hold me up and help me find my footing again. I love him Edward. Loving you doesn't change that."

Edward says nothing but lets go of my hand. He sighs. "I wish you didn't care for him at all, much less love him. How can you expect me to be happy about this?"

I walk into the living room to grab my purse. "I don't but I expect you to respect my wishes and back down. I'm not budging on this. I'm going with or without your blessing."

Edward seems miffed by my attitude. "And if I forbid you to walk out that door?" My eyes narrow as his head whips towards the windows where I can see Jacob stripping off his shirt. "Filthy animal."

I can't help but admire the perfect specimen that is Jake's body. Edward catches me and I turn away, slinging my purse strap over my shoulder. "I'll scream for Jake. I mean what do you expect me to say?"

Edward's voice is full of thinly veiled anger. "He's all show. He's threatening me. Stripping down to face me."

I sigh. Seems I have been doing that a lot lately. In anger. In frustration. In missing Jake. "Only because you seem to be a bit reluctant to let me go and he knows I want to."

I walk around him and make my way outside, knowing he will follow. I walk down the steps over to Jake. The Rabbit separates us. I only have eyes for him. His eyes? They are full of distrust and impatience. He barely looks at me. "You ready?"

Before I can open my mouth, Edward answers him for me; us usual. "No. If she feels she has to do this, then I ask for one more night together before she leaves."

I turn around to tell Edward no, but am too late as Jake's wolf body flies overhead. He tackles Edward to the ground, jaws snapping in his face. Edward punches Jake in the side and I scream. "Edward stop! Please the two of you, just stop!"

Jake scampers off of his body. Edward takes advantage and leaps at him, grabbing Jake around the waist and slamming his body into the ground. The earth shakes and I almost lose my footing. Jake growls and twists his body shoving Edward back with his two front paws. His canines gleam in the fading daylight as his jaws snap in anger. I stupidly go to stand between the two of them. I hold my arms out as if I stand a chance in hell of stopping them. Edward looks at me. "Bella, step aside. Let me finish him."

I glare at Edward. "You 'finish' him and you'll lose me. Forever. Do you understand me? Enough is enough. I am leaving. You cannot stop me."

Jake interrupts, "Can you pass me a pair of shorts out the back seat, please? I messed up the pair I was just wearing." I guess he phased back. I walk backwards so as not to see anything. I open the passenger side door and find a pair and toss them to Jake. I also manage not to escape getting a tantalizing view of his ass. He really is sort of beautiful. Who am I kidding? He is beautiful. On the inside as well. I get a hold of my thoughts and close the door. I go to stand besides Jake. "Can we go now?"

Jake is looking at Edward who is grimacing. I catch his eye and he offers me an apologetic half smile. I cannot manage to return it. He runs his hands through his hair. "Yes, but I ask that you at least take one of our cars. I mean if this is going to be a road trip then I want Bella travelling in something that won't break down before it reaches the highway. Is that an acceptable request? Perhaps the Mercedes I got you? It's quite comfortable and spacious."

I place my hand on Jake's arm and am scalded by the heat of his skin. He trembles under my touch. I quickly drop my hand. "That's fine Edward. Very kind of you. Isn't it Jake?"

Jake grumbles out, "Whatever. I just want to get going. Can we hurry this up?" God, he sounds so despondent and irate. I can't blame him though. I continuously break his heart. His spirit. I don't deserve him at all. We follow Edward to the garage. He fumbles in his pocket and brings out the garage door opener. The gate quickly rolls up and I step aside so Jake can take his pick of vehicle. Jake says nothing but walks directly to the Audi Q7 passing by the new car Edward had gotten me. He looks at Edward. "This one."

Edward frowns. "We just got this last week. Esme still hasn't taken it out."

Jake shrugs, "It doesn't stink as bad as the rest. Look, this was your idea. So can we take it or are you going to just pout?" Edward's eyes narrow as he makes his way to the wall where all the keys are hanging. He finds the keys quickly and tosses them to Jake. Jake offers him a tense nod of his head. "Thanks. I'm going to have one of the guys come get the Rabbit to take back to La Push tomorrow. Okay, I guess this is it."

He opens the car door and gets inside. He pulls the car out of the garage and parks beside the Rabbit. I watch quietly as he transfers his things to the Q7. Edward grabs my hand and pulls me further into the garage. He asks for me to wait momentarily. Within seconds, he is back by my side. "Please take this."

"This" being a crap load of cash. I take a step back, "Edward you can't be serious. That's too much money."

He grabs my hand again and closes my fingers around the money. "I need to feel a little better about my fiancé leaving on a road trip with another man who happens to be in love with her. I need to know that you'll be okay and this will reassure me somewhat."

I nod, understanding his fears. Hell, I'm scared myself. "How much is here?"

He answers without batting an eyelash. "Fifteen thousand or so."

I gape at him, "Dollars? Ed..."

Jake's voice rings through the garage. "She'll take it. And she won't complain. Now say your goodbyes because we still have to stop at Charlie's so you can get a few things."

I nod and tears fill my eyes. I wish it hadn't come to this. I wish I knew marrying Edward was the right thing. I wish that half of my heart didn't want the pissed off werewolf that walks out of the garage without even glancing at me. Edward runs his hands through my hair, bringing my face to his. Our lips briefly touch and he lets me go. "Goodbye Bella."

"Goodbye Edward. I'll miss you and I promise to call." He nods as I shove the money inside my purse. It barely fits. I make my way to the car and get inside without looking back. I know if I do, I might lose my nerve and stay.

**JPOV - - - **

We drive in silence for more than 10 minutes. I make my way into Forks and stop at the local supermarket. I park quickly and hop out to buy some Febreze to air this bitch out. I hurry back to the car afraid to find Bella gone and running back to her leech. I sigh in relief when I see her sitting in the passenger seat. I reverse and we're heading to Charlie's. I pull up behind his cruiser. We say nothing until she finally opens her door and steps out. I get out and follow. I stand behind her as she fumbles through her purse for the keys. I grab a hold of her elbow and she turns to me. We just stand there.

She finally manages to look me in the eye. "What is it Jake?"

_What is it_? It's I love you so much I am willing to torture myself on this freaking road trip just to be near you. Just to inhale the same air as you. I shake my head sadly. That's not what this is to her though. This is about getting some much needed space from the leeches. I take in a deep breath. I'll be her friend. I'll be strong and hopefully once we're on this adventure, she'll realize how much she is truly giving up for them. For him. She's waiting for me to answer. "I just, um, wanted to know what you're going to tell Charlie."

She licks her lips. "I...I don't know. Will you come in with me?"

I nod and follow her inside. I hear Charlie get up out of his recliner. "Bells?" His voice sounds surprised.

"Hey Dad." He comes into view and is shocked to see me there. "Um, well..."

She's flustered. I jump in. "Hey Charlie. Seems all the wedding planning is getting to Bella and Edward. They're arguing and she needs some space and time away from him. I just happened to go by his place to say my goodbyes..."

Charlie's head snaps in my direction. "Your goodbyes?"

I nod. I can hear Bella's heart racing in her chest. "Yeah, I don't think me at the wedding's a good idea, ya know?" The look on Charlie's face shows that he understands perfectly what it is to love someone who won't love you back. I swallow quickly, "Um, so I let them know I plan on heading out of town for a bit. To clear my head."

Bella pipes up, "I thought that maybe I could tagalong. Think over a few things."

The light that shines in Charlie's eyes cannot be hidden. He's just as against their nuptials as I am. He's never gotten over the heartbreak Edward caused Bella. He's told my dad on more than a few occasions that he thinks their relationship is more of a sickness than love. He's got my vote. He's practically rubbing his hands together in childlike glee. He quickly gets a hold of himself. "Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Um, sure honey. You do what you need to. Think long and hard Bells."

She quickly kisses his cheek. "Thanks Dad." She looks back at me. "I'll be back down in a few." I just nod curtly. She heads upstairs and I can hear her rummaging about.

I follow Charlie to the kitchen. He takes out a bottle of water and throws me one. "Now what the Sam hell is going on?"

I shrug my shoulders. "He's overbearing and it's weighing down on her. Plus he doesn't like that we're friends when I feel everything but friendly towards her. I guess she's just tired of the arguing. Look, Charlie, I really have no game plan here. I was just going to say goodbye and be on my way. Maybe head south."

Charlie nods. "I understand that. She has tunnel vision when it comes to him. I don't see the appeal. He's too pale and his hair's always a goddamn mess." I laugh. A real laugh that makes the pain in my chest less raw. "You take care of my girl Jake."

I nod. "I always do." I take a sip of water and look towards the front of the house. "Hey Charlie, you got some tools I can borrow? Pliers? Some other things?"

He nods motioning to the mudroom that leads to the garage off the side of the kitchen. "Yeah, why?"

I can still hear Bella. Right now she's in the bathroom. I have enough time to grab some things out of the garage. I answer simply, "To take care of Bella."

He looks at me and nods. "Then take what you need son. Does Billy know what you're doing?"

I shake my head sadly. "No, I just kind of lost it when I got the wedding invitation. I'll call him in the morning."

Charlie smiles sadly. "Hurt my heart to open that envelope. Didn't even feel like my Bella. Don't worry about Billy. I'll call him in a bit." I thank him and head out to the garage, grabbing what I will need. I quickly throw it into the back of the Audi. I leave all the doors open and Febreze the shit out of the car. I take a quick sniff, slightly pleased at the results. I head back inside just as Bella's racing down the stairs. She seems flustered. She almost falls over herself as she skids to a halt when her eyes land on me.

"Oh, I thought...never mind." She can't look at me. She's playing with the strap of the duffel bag in her hands.

I shake my head in disgust. "You thought I left." She looks at me guiltily. God, will she ever just see _me_? Will she ever stop comparing the two of us? I'm not him. I could never be him. "Wrong guy." I turn around to head out. I call out, "Bye Charlie."

I leave Bella alone to say her goodbyes to her dad.

**BPOV - - -**

I watch him walk out the front door, slamming it behind him. I bite my lip as the tears threaten to spill forth. _Wrong guy._ I chastise myself for thinking the worst, knowing Jake could never do something like that to me. Yes, he disappeared after he started to phase but he snuck away from the Pack to see me. Let me "guess" what his secret was. He's always been there and I continually manage to fuck it up. How could he even care for me much less love me?

I hear my dad clear his throat. I turn to him, plastering a fake smile onto my face. "So, I guess...this is it."

He comes and hugs me. I don't know why but this hug feels so different from any other I have ever gotten from him. It makes the tears fall freely. I feel him kiss the top of my head. "Okay Bells. Have fun." He releases me and grabs my bag. "I'll walk you out. And if you need anything, don't you dare hesitate to call. Understand?"

I nod and follow. Jake has the back open and Charlie deposits my bag for me. We hug once more and he hugs Jake too. I get in and wave goodbye to my dad and to Forks. Jake backs out and heads towards the highway. He turns the radio on and I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pull it out and it's a text from Edward. I immediately delete it. I haven't even been gone an hour from his side. The annoyance I felt earlier comes back.

Jake sits rigidly in the driver's seat. I guess he heard my phone. I take a deep breath and turn it off. I see his lips curve slightly. I look at him and place my hand on his bare arm. He looks at me quickly. "I just want to say thanks. You could have told me to go fly a kite but you let me come along."

He nods. His face is slightly troubled as he stares straight ahead. He speaks so softly, I can barely hear him over the radio. "I just can't say no to you." He clears his throat and lowers the radio. "Look, it's been a long day. Why don't you catch some sleep? I'll wake you once we get to Portland which should be around 1 a.m. Maybe a little after. We'll get a room..." His voice trails off suddenly.

I lick my lips. The idea of being in the same room with Jake makes me warm and fuzzy inside. "One room is fine Jake. If you don't trust me, we'll ask for double beds." I frown at my weak attempt of humor.

He chuckles which is a relief to me. "Yeah, just so I can crash and we can head out early. Maybe figure out a game plan as to what the fuck we're doing or where we're going."

I lean back in my seat making it recline. The air is warm and I revel in it. Such a difference from being with Edward. Always so cold. I have taken to extremely hot showers just to get the feeling back in my skin at least twice a day. I murmur goodnight and slip off to sleep.

**JPOV - - -**

I look at her now slumbering body. The steady rise and fall of her chest. The cute little half snore that escapes her lips every once in a while. "I love you Bells. So help god, I do. I only wish you loved me too." A single tear slides down my cheek. Fuck, another tear spent for Isabella Swan.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Bella, wake up. Come on."_ His voice cuts through the fog in my mind. His voice filters through the dreams of the beach and sun I have been having. The sand tickles my toes and his arms wrap around me, burning me hotter than the sun ever could.

"My Jacob." The hand on my shoulder tenses and I sit upright. I quickly wipe my face. I stutter, "Um...uh...sor...sorry."

He just shrugs. "No biggie. Look we're almost in Portland." That quickly wakens me up. "I'm at a rest stop and I need your help."

I look at him blankly, "With what exactly?"

He nods for me to step out. I comply and follow him to the back of the car. He opens the back and grabs a flashlight. "I need to find the GPS."

I lick my lips, "Excuse me?"

He blows out a breath and runs his hands through his hair. "I was looking through the glove box for a map. Trying to figure out which way south to go. I didn't find a map." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pink receipt sheet of paper. He hands it to me. "I'm sorry."

I say nothing as I look over the damn thing. GPS. I crumble the paper in my hand. I look at him, tears of fury blinding me. "So it was all just bullshit? He never really let me come along with you? He just extended the reach of his suffocating neurotic antics! Fuck! Fuck!" I toss the paper to the floor and clench my hands into fists by my side. "Why?"

His warm arms wrap around me tightly. It helps me settle. He must sense that I've calmed down because he takes a huge step back. "Because that's who he is. That's who he's always been and who he is always going to be." We say nothing, the occasional car passing by on the highway brightening the nearly black backdrop.

I can't say anything. What hurts most is Jake is right. I know he's right, yet I am suppose to marry Edward in a month. Four weeks. Twenty eight or twenty nine days. Is this what my life is going to be like? Tracked and monitored? Will his behavior change once he turns me? Or will it just stay the same because that's who he truly is? I feel a headache start and moan. Jake is by my side in an instant. His worry nearly makes me break down again. I shake my head. "It's a headache."

He nods. "Look it's about one in the morning." I just stare at him. "Yeah, we're on schedule. So you going to help?"

I nod and pick up the paper I tossed to the ground. I open it and read through it. I point something out to Jake. "Where's this?"

Jake bites his lip and my eyes stay on them. I try to focus on his voice. "It's the front of the car. I caught that but it doesn't say what area. It can be under the frame or under the hood which would be annoying because there are so many places to hide the fucker."

Something clicks in my head. "Behind the tires on the frame." He looks at me funny. "When Edward brought home the Mercedes, Emmett made a joke about Lojack and never losing me. He asked if Edward had it installed "in the regular spot" by the tires. Edward hissed at him and Emmett shrugged it off, not the least bit offended. I asked if it was true. He admitted that keeping me safe was all he thought about when he had it put in. Said the regular way wasn't good enough for me, his 'precious love'." My stomach clenches and I rush off to the side and hurl. My stomach just heaves and heaves since there is nothing there. I feel Jake lift my hair off my shoulders so I don't get it dirty.

Soon enough the spasms stop and he hands me a bottle of water. He looks at me for a moment. "Hey, why don't you go and use the bathroom? Wash your face. I'll just get started." He turns and walks back to the front of the vehicle. I do as he suggests, quickly grabbing my toothbrush and toothpaste from my duffel bag. I hurry inside and take a good look at myself. There are dark circles under my eyes. My cheeks look hollow. My hair hangs limply around my shoulders. This is what "true love" is doing to me? I don't feel beautiful. I feel like the dead turned over. I quickly push those morbid thoughts aside and handle my business. I rush outside to see Jake under the car on the left. I throw my things in the back and scoot down beside him. He's on his back, fidgeting underneath the car. "It wasn't on the other side. I think this might be it. Can you slide me those pliers? I think I need to yank it off but if I do it with my hands, I might break something else. The drill unscrewed most of it."

I do as he asks, sitting on my backside as I hear him groping about. Some ten minutes later, he slides out holding a small, dirty white object the size of my I-pod Nano. He hands it to me and I just stare at it. He rubs his hands on his shirt. I turn the small device over and over in my hand. I want to hurl it. Chuck it onto the highway so a car or better yet, a truck, can roll over it. "Thanks."

Jake just looks at me amid picking up the tools from the ground. He straightens up. "For what?"

I look out into the night. "For finding it. For not saying I told you so when I really deserve it."

He says nothing. "I figured he might pull something like this but I wasn't sure. I grabbed some tools from your dad's place just in case. When I found the receipt instead of the map...well, you really don't need a bigger I told you so than that." He gets up and holds out his hand. I quickly wipe my face, brushing away a few tears that manage to sneak past. I am about to move away when his hand stills me. His voice is a hushed whisper upon my skin. The softness makes me want to curl up beside him, "Wait. You have something...right here." Then his calloused hand finds my cheek. He uses the pad of his thumb to wipe away whatever dirt he found. His hand lingers so I press my cheek into it, sighing. My eyes never leave his. Something passes between the two of us. I feel the inclination to move closer, so I do. His head drops towards me and my mouth opens in anticipation. The blaring horn of a truck sounds off and he takes a step back. Away from me. The moment quickly passes and I long for it.

He just looks at me not saying anything. I bite my lip and grip the stupid GPS in my hand. "What should we do with it?"

He looks at my lips quickly before answering, "Um, I can crush it." Then an evil smile plays upon his full lips. "Or we can teach the bastard a lesson."

I smile wickedly right back at him. "What kind of lesson?" I admit I am very intrigued by the possibility of turning the tables on Edward or sticking it to him in some way.

He just smiles at me. "When we get to Portland, we stick this on a delivery truck or something."

I laugh and the sound is foreign to me. When was the last time I laughed? "That's perfect. Completely throw him off track. That's great."

He nods. "Let me go wash up. Then we can find a hotel and I can get some sleep. We'll get up in the morning and decide where we're heading."

"Truth or Consequences, New Mexico." The name just pops into my mind.

"That's not real. Who the fuck would name a town that? Stop playing with me." There's amusement in his voice. So much better than the formal tone he has been taking with me since earlier. This is the Jake I know.

I walk towards the bathrooms with him. Our hands are greasy and his clothes are dirty. Not that he cares. Not that he still isn't the hottest guy I know. I shake my head. "Um, my mom told me some story about a lady named Shelby Sue she met there. They had a crazy time in some hot springs and I think there was tequila involved. It was part of her wild days before she met my dad. I remember the name of the town because it's so unique." I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. "Fake sounding, even."

He rolls his eyes. He holds open the women's door for me. "Okay Bella. Truth or Consequences it is. Sounds kind of ominous though."

I pause to look at him. "How so?"

His eyes turn serious. "Sometimes the truth is something you're not ready for. And that makes the consequences of finally acknowledging it that much harder to deal with."

I know he's talking about us. I take a small leap off the cliff that is _Jake & Bells_. "And sometimes the truth is more than you can ever wish for and welcome the consequences with a sense of hope."

His eyes go flat. My heart breaks a bit. "I'll meet you back at the car." With that he turns on his heel and goes to the men's room.

Some ten minutes later, we're on our way. I point out a Holiday Inn Express that I see from the highway. We head inside and pay cash for a room. I request, nicely, a late check out to give Jake more time to rest. We head up to our room. He slips off his shirt and I can barely keep my tongue in my mouth. He goes to take a shower and I turn on my cell. Some thirty text messages and however many voicemails later, I finally call Edward. I slip out of the room for a bit of privacy.

His voice is terse when he picks up, "How come you haven't answered any of my text messages Bella? I have been worried sick. And ignoring my calls? Unacceptable."

I bite back the anger that fights to escape. I take in a deep breath and keep my voice even. "Edward, I haven't been gone for that long. You need to chill out. I am fine. Besides, I am kind of annoyed that not fifteen minutes after leaving your house, you texted me. I need space Edward. It's not a difficult concept. The reason I turned off my phone was because I wanted to avoid this. So I am going to hang up now and after I cool off a bit, I will call you. Probably after a good night's sleep. Good night Edward."

His sighs his signature long suffering sigh and I roll my eyes. "As you wish, my love. I love you."

I know he's waiting for me to say them back but the words are stuck in my throat. All I manage to croak out is, "Me too." I hang up hastily so he can't call me out on it. I step back inside the room and am met with the magnificence of a damp, towel clad Jacob. The words escape before I can regain my mind, "Oh my."

His expression is pleased but he rapidly puts his stoic face back on. "Hey. Um, the shower's free. Do you need it? Or should I get dressed in there?" We are back to that uneasiness once again.

I manage to speak as droplets of water steam off his bronzed skin. "I will take a shower now. Save time in the morning. Uh, thanks." I get my bag and practically run into the bathroom. I close the door and lean against it trying to regain my breath.

**JPOV - - - **

I stare at the closed door. Guess she liked what she saw. I laugh quietly and get ready for bed.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Muchas gracias to my wicked awesome beat, Miss Shelby, for all her help with this chapter and giving us an Edward a little less Madea and a little more believable.**_

_**Also check out AshletD's story A Summer in Forks, a Jake and Bella fic. It's cute and I'm irked for her that she doesn't have more reviews. So go and help a sister out. **_

"Are you kidding me?" I just stare at her sitting on the other bed.

She crosses her arms across her chest with a sly smile brightening her face. She looks way better than last night. At least she doesn't look like death warmed over. "I'm serious, Jake. I wanna go. I mean, if he's footing the bill, then why the hell not? Plus, you've never been."

I bite my lip. It's true and I can't help but get small pleasure from sticking it to Eddie Sparklepants. "So Disney World?"

She shakes her head. "No. That's in Florida. Disneyland. In California. It's on the way to New Mexico." She looks at one of the maps spread out in front of her. When I came to this morning, she was gone. I swear my heart got caught in my throat but then I saw the note on the nightstand.

_Jake,_

_You are dead to the world and I'm bored. Went out to get a few things. Promise to bring back food. _

_Bella_

She comes back while I am in the middle of getting dressed. So I am parading around the room in my boxers. The way her eyes bug out when she sees me is worth the small heart attack I had this morning thinking she was gone. She returns with the promised food and a couple of prepaid AT&T wireless cell phones. Simple and easy to use. No credit checks. No credit card necessary to activate. I didn't think she had it in her. I let her know she did good. The blush that covers her cheeks makes my groin tighten. I quickly go back to the Jake of last night.

She seems to notice my shift in attitude and sighs. She gets off her bed and walks over to me. She takes her fancy I-phone out of her pocket to hand to me. I just look at her. She smiles while softly saying, "Hulk smash."

The light bulb goes off over my head. I thoroughly enjoy crushing the small piece of machinery in my hand. I hear her small gasp as the pieces settle on the bedspread. I look at her, "You okay?"

She brightens up and squares her shoulders. She looks me dead in the eye. "Hell yes." She goes back to her shopping bags. She grabs the Best Buy one and takes out a small box. "I got this." I get off my rump and make my way over.

"A netbook?" She nods. She quickly takes it out of the box, plugging it in to charge. It's compact and black. I look at her as her fingers start to fly across the keys. "Can I ask why?"

She pauses for a moment. "Free Wi-Fi. No need for broadband. Stop at any library or Starbucks or even McDonalds and we can go online. He can't track us through this. I'll set up a new email account so we can send emails to our dads and the Pack. That cool?"

I ruffle her hair before speaking, "Look at you. Getting all Jason Bourne on me."

She snorts, "Not at all. If I were like him, I could scramble our IPS location and whatever other crap he does. But I am grateful you made me sit through the Bourne marathon that one day. Made me realize Edward can track us quite easily through my cell phone. Would make us planting the GPS on some unsuspecting truck kind of dumb." She looks at her new cell phone which is also charging. "I paid for half a day so we don't have to leave until 5 p.m. Gives us a chance to figure out some things. Also gives us time to have the electronics charge." She shuts the netbook and looks at me.

We just stare at one another to the point that it's unbearable. I just want to gather her in my arms. Press kisses along her alabaster skin until she's pink with need. I can hear her heart racing. I wonder if she feels the same. Or is she trying to figure out a way to tell me she still wants that albino douche bag? I start to eat in hopes of easing the tension.

"Jake?" Her voice is soft. I look at her. "What are we doing?"

I know she's not talking about the road trip. She's not talking about us sitting in some random ass hotel room in Portland. She's talking about _us_ and I can't. Not now. Maybe not ever. Isabella Swan has broken me too many times for me to even attempt this conversation. So I give her a not so bullshit answer, "I just want you to see that life is worth actually living Bella. Don't read anymore into it than that."

Her shoulders slump. Her voice is strained. "Oh..." She looks past me and takes in a deep breath. "Okay then. Well, why don't you finish eating and I'll just go downstairs to the computer room. Print out directions to Disney from here. No rush. Maybe I can drive so you can get a little bit of a break."

She gets up and walks out of the room. My heart clenches.

**BPOV - - -**

I make my way to the stairs. Did I really think it would be that easy? Did I really think that he would just spill his guts to me? Did I really expect him to tell me he still loves me after all the crap I've put him through? Well, stupidly, yes I did. I can't believe how much his answer hurt me. What right do I have to his heart? Is it his fault that I stupidly can't let go of Edward so Jake can be fully embedded in mine? No. It's mine. What would I have done if he had told me that he planned on fighting for me? The question causes a thrill to race through my entire being. The idea warms me more than I am happy to admit. Why am I struggling so much with this? I am engaged to a wonderful...a man who keeps me on a very tight leash. I shake my head, trying to keep at bay the headache that's starting to form.

**Forks (4 Hours Prior) - - -**

I look at the time. My love is most likely asleep while the mutt rapes her with his eyes and lewd thoughts. I hear his perverse thoughts about my fiancée whenever he is near. It makes me want to castrate the man. Man? Humph. Child is more like it. What could he ever offer my Bella to make her even consider him as a possible mate? He's reckless. Childish. Beneath her in so many ways. I lick my lips and stare at the monitor. It seems they've settle in Portland for the night. I ponder if I should make my way south to be closer but fear he will catch my scent. Then Bella will want to continue this farce of independence. I figure she'll be caving soon enough and want to rush back to my side. She and I know she doesn't do well without me to guide her.

My bedroom door slams open with Alice standing there, hands on hips. "Where the hell is Bella? And Esme's car for that matter?"

My sprite of a sister, at first, was dubious of me trying to keep Bella from Jacob. Then something happened and she thought what I was doing was right suddenly. It's a vision I am sure but she manages to keep it hidden from me. "Jacob received the invitation. Came by to tell me how crass I was in sending it. Bella was infuriated with me." In actuality, her reaction was a bit too strong for my liking. I understand she asked me not to, but really, she hasn't lived as long as I have. She doesn't understand that I know she would regret him not being there, regret not allowing him to see us married. And if I'm being honest, I want him there so he can finally put this ridiculous obsession with her to rest. It's been helpful in the past, he kept her safe somehow, but I'm back now, and the mutt simply can't compete with me. She is simply too emotional to make rational decisions, especially about him. How can she trust her own judgment when I know better? "Anyway, words were said. He stated that he was leaving and would not attend the wedding. Bella, of course, became upset and offered to go with him. She claims she needs 'space' away from us."

Then someone who I thought would be thrilled that she is gone, speaks up. Rose's voice is full of derision." Not us. You." Then she looks at Alice who seems on the verge of tears. Rose makes her way around our sister. "And you sister dear. The two of you seem to think the human is some pet that you can control." She sneers at me. "I guess her cage got a little too small."

I scoff at her, "She's always free to do as she pleases."

Rose's eyes narrow. "Are you daft? You took out her engine. You made Alice babysit her against her will. You would have kept her leashed to your bed if possible. Don't try to sell your antics to me dear brother. I see through all your bullshit."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. This is the type of conversation that Rose and I seem to be having more and more lately. It's infuriating. "What do you care? You can't stand her anyway."

Rose crosses her arms across her chest. "That may be the case but what I loathe even more is your ridiculous behavior towards her. She wants to be able to breathe." Her eyes focus on my laptop's screen. "What the hell is that?"

Before I can close it, it's lifted out of my hands. Rose's eyes quickly scan the screen, her thoughts processing too quickly for me to get a focus on them. Before I anticipate her next move, she crushes it. I cry out, "No!"

She drops the pieces to the floor, fury evident in her eyes. "She told you she needed space and you're tracking her like she's a fucking deer you're about to eat? Stalker much Edward?"

I push her back. "I suggest you mind your business Rose. This is of no concern to you. Alice, bring me your laptop."

Rose charges me and we crash through the open doorway, over the banister to the floor below. She's pinned me to the floor, wood splintered beneath us. "Don't you dare speak to me like you do Bella. I'm not human Edward. You best remember that." Our family has gathered around us. No one steps forward to remove her from me. I try to budge but her anger has made her strong. "No one in this house will help you. What you're doing is just like rape."

I gasp, appalled at her comparison. "How dare you?"

She sits on her hind legs. To others this may seem a compromising position but she's just keeping me still. "How dare I? How dare any of us continue to just sit back quietly while you break this poor girl? How could you possibly think what you've been doing is acceptable? Especially for someone who places so much value on his gentlemanly ways. She told you to back off, yet here you are. Ignoring what she wants yet again."

She gets off with help from Emmett. I look at my family. They are shielding their thoughts from me and I curse them. "Do you all feel that way? Do you all think what I'm doing is a form of 'rape' like Rose?" No one says anything. I scream at them, "Answer me."

Carlisle steps forward, anger in his eyes. "Yes. And we are done helping you. This family will no longer abide by your wishes. The first time we did, we hurt Bella too much. Now? The girl is skinnier, paler and so very sad. How can you not see what is in front of you? This isn't you son. This isn't you."

I snap at them, "Oh, what the hell would you know? Your mate is by your side. You don't have to fear some mangy mongrel is going to sweep her off her feet! You don't have to worry about her giving into her carnal human urges and casting you aside for another." I run my hands through my hair. "I will do anything to keep Bella by my side. Anything at all and if that means going against you, the family, then so be it."

I turn my back to them. Alice approaches, her mind free. _I can't see her anymore Edward. I haven't been able to for weeks._ I feel her hand on my shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I thought maybe if I helped, it would change. Or if finally came down to this, you would change your ways and she would come back. But you haven't. You've only gotten worse." I whirl on her, causing her to stumble back. Jasper quickly grabs a hold of her elbow, glaring at me.

I take a long look at them. These people who claim to be my family. Esme looks near tears but I could care less. My singer, love, is out there somewhere in Portland with a wolf by her side. That is unacceptable. I will leave straightaway to fetch her back.

Rose looks at me, "You try to leave, I'll chase you down like the dog you are." Her cute little jab isn't unnoticed.

I roll my eyes, "You're not as fast. I'll be able to get away without a problem...how?" Before I even finish my thought, she has me pressed against the wall. Emmett quickly grabs a hold of my arm.

Rose sneers, "I've always been faster than you. I just don't see the point in exerting all that effort. Now don't tempt me Edward. I could also go for roasted marshmallows."

Her insinuation is quiet clear. Esme gasps, "Rosalie, that is quite enough." Rose shrugs and licks her lips.

Her icy breath tickles my ear, "Now you going to settle down? Or am I going to have to kill you because I'm done sitting by while you arrogantly hurt a female. Of any kind."

I close my eyes, trying to bank down my anger. I know she means what she says. I collapse my shoulders in submission. "Fine Rose. We'll play it your way for now."

**Present Time - - -**

"Bella?" I quickly throw open the door to the room. Thankfully we're on the second floor and I can smell her close by. I run down the hall to the staircase. I quickly jump the stairs and stop at the landing. I exit the stairwell and follow her scent. I look out the glass doors that lead to the pool. She's sitting on a chaise. Just laying back letting the warm rays of the sun play with her skin. I can feel my mouth water. Since it's still pretty early, she's alone out there. I quickly get a hold of myself and head out there. "Bella."

She looks up at me with a smile on her face. Then she sees the expression on mine and it quickly drops. "What's wrong?"

I grab her hand to help her to her feet. "We have to go. Edward's about flipped his lid. Quil went over to get my car after patrolling. I texted him last night when we got here. He heard shouting and a whole mess of crap. Anyways, your fiancé is hot to get you back by his side. But it seems the rest of the family, well Rose, in particular is against it. Look, I really don't know. Quil just said we needed to get some more distance between us and him."

We're walking back to our room. She starts to throw things in bags. "Why didn't Quil call you as soon as he heard what was going on?"

I look at her sheepishly, "I turned my phone off. I just checked it a little while ago. I called him right back and he says that none of the guys are trying to get too close to the Cullens so they're not tipped off that Quil heard them. But he's still there."

The last sentence I utter seems to calm her a bit. She finishes packing and gathers our new toys. She reaches into her purse for the GPS. "Let's get rid of this and head south. I'll feel better with a few more states between us."

We check out and I drive out of the parking lot like there's a veterinarian hot on my paws to castrate me. I drive according to the directions she's giving me. We have to stop for gas. She turns to me with a bright smile on her face. She points out the window to a Target truck. I nod and grab the GPS from her. I oh so slickly plant it in the cab of the 18 wheeler while the driver's not around. I walk back to Bella and almost yelp. She's talking to the truck driver. I approach and hear her say to him, "So you're sure that that street will take us to the main highway? I-5? My boyfriend is such a guy and hates asking for directions."

The drivers chats animatedly with her for a few moments more before taking his leave. I walk up to Bella and she jumps when my hand lands on her waist. She swats at me. "God, Jake, could you not do that?"

I motion towards the truck that is leaving. "What was that?"

She bites her lip. "He was walking out and you weren't back. I just tried to buy you a little time."

I nod, "Thanks. Come on, let's go."

She gets inside and I drive off. She nibbles on her lower lip. She looks at me before asking, "Did you hear what I said to him?"

I say nothing. _My boyfriend_...God, the words were like water to a man dying of thirst. I play it off. "Nah. I just heard him talking about some spots you should eat at on your way to California."

Her head turns to her window, "Oh." I drive on.


	5. Chapter 5

_**To help you guys, the title translated is: I don't want forever; I only want you for life. **_

We drive to I-5 and head south. Bella doesn't say anything. She made me stop at Wal-Mart to buy car chargers for the phones. They're plugged in and chilling. I finally can't take anymore of the silence and turn the radio on. Thankfully rock music fills the car. She leans forward and lowers the volume. "I...I don't know what to do."

I look at her. "About what?"

She bites her lip and I see her eyes are glassy with tears. "About Edward. When you told me about what Quil overheard...well, the very thought that he was on his way to get me, filled me such fright. Not that he would hurt me but that he would make me go back."

I say nothing and continue to drive. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? You're right Bells to fear him. He will collar your ass with a diamond choker and take you back to that cold lifeless house. I struggle for the words, "I think you're right to be scared of that. We both know that when he relented in allowing you to come along, he really wasn't at all. The GPS and phone are proof of that."

She huffs, "Allowing. Relenting. Oh god, these are the words that we're using to describe my relationship." She says nothing and chews on her nails. I swat at her hand. It's a disgusting habit that she does when she gets nervous. She rolls her eyes. "I'm all types of fucked up aren't I?"

I want to scream _Hell yeah!!_ but refrain. If she's all types fucked up, then what am I? I'm on a freaking road trip to see the mouse with the woman I love who happens to be engaged to my mortal enemy. Yeah, I just might win Bells. So I decide to be diplomatic instead, "You can't help who you love Bella. Sometimes, though, you have to love yourself just a bit more."

**BPOV - - - **

His voice is despondent when he says those words. Is that how loving me makes him feel? Is he going to try not to love me anymore so he can love himself more? Don't I want him to be free of me and all the torment I cause him? Then why does the very thought that he could move on scare me more than not marrying Edward? Why does the thought of no more _Jake&Bells_ make my chest so tight it hurts to breathe? It is the same feeling I got when he was preparing to go into the newborn battle promising to just let one of them get him because of me. I asked him to kiss me with all he had because I needed him to come back. To me. I bite my lip so hard it starts to bleed. Bleed because I'm alive. My heart is threatening to burst out of my chest. Because I am alive. I am alive. I want to stay alive. I sneak a quick glance at Jake out of the corner of my eye. I want to stay alive with Jake. I love him. But more importantly than that, I am in love with Jacob Black. I am deeply, and quite madly, in love with him. The thought warms me like nothing else has before. Then I quickly sober up because I also love another. I sit back looking out the window at the passing trees. But am I in love with Edward anymore? Does the thought of him make my heart flutter? Does the thought of him leaving again fill me with despair as it once did? Or does this separation from him fill me with a lightness I haven't had for quite some time?

Jake interrupts my thoughts, "Does going to Disney always cause one to grow so freaking pensive?" His tone is light but doesn't match his eyes. His eyes are worrisome. Does he ever not worry about me?

I choose my words carefully because I can't tell him that I'm in love with him. Not until I know in my heart of hearts that he's who I truly want to be with. I can't hurt him like that again. That means I have to keep this revelation to myself. Perhaps he's right. Perhaps it's time I love myself more so that way I can finally find out what I want. I let out a deep breath as this all sinks in. This trip isn't just about not worrying about never seeing Jake again. This trip isn't about trying to distance myself from Edward and his paranoia. This trip is about Bella Swan finally getting a clue about Bella Swan. I want to laugh because I feel so clearheaded for the first time in forever. So I do just that. His mouth crinkles and soon he's joining me. I manage to catch my breath. "We so have to get you mouse ears."

That quickly shuts him up. He looks at me quickly. "No." His voice is stern but his eyes tell me different.

I crack my knuckles, settling in to enjoy the ride. "Well, I got 16 hours to change your mind."

**Anaheim - - -**

Since it's late afternoon when we finally reach Disney I head straight to our hotel. When we stopped at Wal-Mart, I had gotten one of those prepaid Visa cards to use in case any of the places we stay at want a credit card when we check in regardless if we're paying cash. Disney would be one of those places. I figure it's kind of late to hit the park itself. We can do that tomorrow. He's probably hungry anyway. I pull into the parking lot of the Clarion Hotel Anaheim Resort. Right before we reached California, I had pulled into a rest stop and made us our reservations. Just because we have some cash, I didn't want to blow it staying at a Disney Hotel. This one was just 2 blocks away and we only needed a 2 day park pass. Jake got so excited when he saw some of the rides and it was nice to see him so free. A few weeks ago he had only been concerned with surviving until the next day. Now, we're at Disney. I park and Jake grabs our bags from the trunk. I had also stopped at a shopping mall to do some clothing shopping for us both. At first Jake was iffy about spending Edward's money on clothes but soon got into it. I calmly walk to the reception desk and give the woman my name. She looks at me oddly. Then her mouth turns into a smile when her gaze lands on Jake.

Oh god, she's totally checking him out. I seethe at her. She's basically eye humping Jake who is oblivious. I clear my throat and she returns her attention to me. I hand her the Visa and a cash deposit for our stay. She adds the 2 day Hopper Pass and we're good to go. Her flirtatious nature abruptly ends when her eyes land on my engagement ring. Good for you, you harlot. I start to giggle. Harlot? Oh god, Edward's rubbing off on me. Jake just looks at me oddly as we head to the elevators. We press the button for 3 and a giggle escapes from me.

"You okay there?" Jake licks his lips. Oh god, I can feel my heart start to race. I try to keep a grip on myself. I nod and step briskly off the elevator. We find the room quickly and deposit our bags unceremoniously on the floor. Jake plops down on a bed as I make my way to the bathroom. I head back out to grab my bag.

"Wanna just grab dinner? Maybe a flick?" Jake jumps up nodding enthusiastically.

"Hell yeah, let's go see _Clash of the Titans_. Quil said it rocked but not in 3-D." I just nod my head. I have no idea what he's talking about. I barely watch TV when at the Cullens.

"Um, who's in it?" He just looks at me like I'm dumb which is what I feel like. I have no idea what's out. I have no idea what music is popular nowadays. The last couple of months I've been living in a glass bubble. Edward's house is beautiful but when I'm there I'm so disconnected from the real world.

"Sam Worthington and some banging chick." Oh, I feel a tinge of jealousy. "Kick ass CGI effects. So you down?"

I grab my stuff to take a quick shower. "Absolutely. Go online and find out the time."

**Disney Land - - -**

"Oh crap!" I shout as we plummet down into an unknown abyss. Water courses over us and on us. I am drenched and I turn to Jake, I see he is too. He rubs water from his hair and laughs.

"We have to do that again!" We get off the ride and stop to check ourselves out. My eyes are closed and Jake's mouth is open mid-yell. I purchase us each a copy. We walk around for a bit and I notice the girls from earlier. They are college sorority sisters as evident by the Greek letters on their tight cropped t-shirts.

Jake stretches as we walk. Then he stops to take off his sleeveless t-shirt. I don't have to be a werewolf to hear the girls' sharp intake of breath. I can't fault them though. He truly is gorgeous and so oblivious to it. He twists the t-shirt to remove excess water from it. Then he shrugs it back on. I catch one of the girls licking her lips. Okay honey, you really need to back off now. They are the type of girl I could never be. Confident, beautiful, athletic, stacked and tall. Blonde versions of Leah. Okay there's a brunette in the group but I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself. Jake grabs my hand when his eyes land on something. I am dragged away. Then we scramble to a sudden halt. "Jake?"

He just smiles at me as we get into line. Then I see the sign for Space Mountain. I roll my eyes but settle closer to him, trying to keep warm. "I would stay close too, sweetie if my man looked like that."

We turn around and I lock eyes with a green-eyed blonde. Her t-shirt seems painted on and one can't help but notice her boobs saying hi. I look at Jake and see hurt in his eyes. Of course, because he's not my man. He stiffens next to me and I take a step back. "I'm not her man. Just a friend."

This bit of news seems to make Sorority Bimbo even happier. "Really?" She looks at me and doesn't seem too surprised. Then Jake drops my hand. I fidget with my hair and she sees my ring. "Oh, you're engaged. But not to him, right?" Jake just nods. How can she not see how awkward this is? Oh because she's too busy staring at Jake. She holds out her hand to Jake. "I'm Michaela. These are my sisters Ana Maria, Jenna, Samantha and Kayla."

Jake shakes her hand and she seems to enjoy his heat. "I'm Jake. This is Bella." She then shakes my hand and we make nice with her sisters. Jake seems to love all the attention they give him. We finally reach the front of the line where Michaela acts all timid about the stupid indoor roller coaster. She asks big, strong Jakey to ride with her. I want to hurl. Preferably on her.

Jake just rolls with it. He takes her hand to help her onto the ride. I just gape at him. I'm stuck sitting with Ana Maria who seems nice enough. She's kind of quiet so we don't say much to one another. We really can't as the ride starts and all I hear is Michaela's fake screaming. They stick to us like white on rice for the rest of the day. If I'm sullen, you can bet your ass Jake just ignores it. We go on every ride no matter how childish. More often than not, Jake sits by Michaela. It irks me to no end. Finally around 9, Jake notices how much I'm yawning. He tells the girls we're going to head back to our hotel. Michaela glares at me and I resist the urge to stick my tongue out at her.

"Hey, it's still early. There's this great salsa club, J.C. Fandango. It's really laid back. You can get in with jeans and a button down. We're going to head over there after freshening up. It would be wicked if you guys could meet us there." Guys? Oh, thanks for including me when your eyes haven't left Jake's since you've ruined our day. Except Jake doesn't seem that put out. Imagine my surprise when he agrees. I think my eyes actually bug out.

"That would be awesome. We could go for some fun, right Bella?" Everyone looks at me. I'm sure I'm as red as the rivers of hell.

I manage to nod, "Sure, that would be great. What time are we meeting?" Michaela doesn't look too thrilled that I'm coming. Fuck you bitch. That's my Jake and he's not going anywhere near you without me there.

Ana Maria speaks up, "I think around 11 should be good. Drink specials until midnight so that gives us an hour to get lit. You can even wear flip flops which is awesome. It's a great spot." We exchange information. Correction, Jake and Michaela exchange information as the rest of us watch. Jake and I walk in silence back to the hotel.

He opens the door and I stomp inside past him. He grabs my arm and whips me towards him. "What the fuck is your issue Bella?"

I pull my arm away from him, "What are you talking about? I need to shower." I move to grab my stuff but he stands in my way.

"You've been a prissy bitch since the girls joined us. Jealous?" He sneers at me. I manage not to claw his face off.

I manage to make my face a mask of utter calm. "Not at all. Just missing Edward." I wish I can take the words back. I don't mean them. At all. Hell, I haven't thought of Edward all day. His eyes go dark and hurt. I bite my lip, trying to backtrack. "I'm sorry. That was..."

He cuts me off, "Just go shower. We have to meet up with them soon. Glad you made me get those shoes." He turns his back to me and tears sting my eyes. I hurry to the bathroom to shower. I turn the water as hot as it would go and it still isn't as warm as being in Jake's arms. I cry freely, hoping the shower is loud enough to cover the sound of my blubbering.


	6. Chapter 6

_**What up people? This chapter has a bit of citrus in it because that's how I roll. And after all this time, I still don't know why sex is referred to as "lemons". And much love to my wicked awesome beta, Shelby Sue, for helping me out with their fight. She made it perfect.**_

I wrap the towel around my body tightly. In my haste to escape the hurt on his face, I ran into the bathroom without anything to change into afterwards. I bite my lip, wishing hotel towels were a bit bigger. I slowly open the door and see his back. He has his head in his hands. I clear my throat and he looks up. His eyes are red and I flinch. That's my fault. I was jealous of some dumb bitch and lashed out at the one man who hasn't left my side no matter what. "I forgot my stuff out here."

His eyes travel along my towel clad body and I feel naked. Exposed. His eyes linger on my shoulders as beads of water make a trail down my arms. I struggle to breathe. He looks at me like the girls were looking at him earlier. It dawns on me, never once did he looks at Michaela like this. His voice is quiet, "Okay."

The word is said with such pain that I cringe. I sit beside him taking one of his hands after being confident my towel won't fall off. I look at him regretfully. "I'm sorry. I should never have said that."

He drops my hand and rises. He presses a kiss to my temple before straightening up. "I know you are but it doesn't make it hurt any less. The only thing I keep telling myself is you're jealous of the hot college coeds that want my bod." He gathers his things and shuts the door in my face. I huff knowing he's right but hating it all the same.

**JPOV - - -**

I shut the door behind me and drop my things on the small counter. I catch a glimpse of myself and curse. Fuck! My eyes are red from trying not to break down at her cruel words. I know she said them out of anger but how much does she think I can take? I turn the shower on and hurry. I just want a nice night out without any worries.

I finish up and dry off quickly, glad that my high body temperature helps. I shrug on my boxer briefs which Bells picked out at Target. They have Marvel characters all over them. She told me to get them because I was a certified superhero in her eyes. All I want to be is the man she loves. I quickly banish those thoughts as I put on my shirt. I slip my jeans on and open the door and just about swallow my tongue.

Bella's by the dresser, looking into the mirror while applying some black looking crap to her eyelashes. She has on that dress I saw in the Gap that hits the floor. It's very obvious as she turns to me, she doesn't have a fucking bra on. The dress is this plum-wine color that looks amazing against her rosy sun-kissed skin. The dress goes into a deep V in the front giving me quite an eyeful of her cleavage. She had mentioned that she could get away without a bra in the dress. I see the swell of her ripe, perky breasts. Fuck, guys are going to look at her. They're going to try to get a better look at her tits. I'm practically salivating at the sight of their roundness peeking out. Her hair is still wet and piled onto the top of her head.

She sees me staring. "What do you think? I can get away with no bra right? It's not like I have much to work with anyway."

Is she insane? She's a full B that can happily fit in my mouth. I could suck at them bitches all day and night long. Fuck, I feel my dick move in my jeans. I answer her gruffly, "You look fine Bella. You almost ready?"

She tilts her head to the left looking at me. She seems to want to say something but shakes her head. She mumbles, "Five minutes." I slip on the black leather slides she had gotten me. I watch as she finishes applying her eye stuff. She applies a quick swipe of plum colored lip-gloss that makes her lips extra kissable. Then she lets her hair down and it falls down her back in loose waves that beg for my fingers to run through them. She runs into the bathroom quickly. I hear her run the blow-dryer and in less than a couple of minutes, she's back out with slightly damp hair that I still want to run my fingers through.

My new phone vibrates and I see it's from Michaela. _Hey Jakey (Jakey?), where are you guys? We're already here and getting drunk! I need my big, bad, strong wolf to keep all these douche bags away from me._

I laugh at her choice of words and send her a quick reply back, letting her know we will be there in about half an hour. I stifle a groan as I watch Bella rub lotion onto her legs. I get up and grab the car keys. "Um, I'll just go get the car and meet you up front, okay?"

I hurry out of the room, not even waiting for an acknowledgement.

**BPOV - - -**

We walk towards the club. Jake found parking a couple of blocks away. I'm wearing bronze colored leather flip flops. I also put on a long colorful beaded necklace and some hoop earrings. I guess I look nice. Jake hasn't commented either way. Actually, he keeps his gaze straight ahead, barely looking at me. Whatever. I walk alongside him and frown when I see Michaela outside smoking with a few people.

"Jake!" Her voice grates on my eardrums and she hastily stomps out the cigarette and rushes to us. She practically jumps into his arms. Her ridiculously short skirt hikes up her bare thighs threatening to reveal bush if he didn't put her down. Thank goodness, he drops her onto her stiletto heeled feet. She pulls down the swatch of material covering her lady parts and puffs out her chest while grabbing his hand. "I'm so glad you made it." Then her not so friendly eyes fall on me. She manages to keep her voice above freezing. "You too, Bella."

Wow, fake much? I manage to smile and reply back, "Thanks. Well, let's head inside." I think I'm doing a pretty good job of not acting jealous but it's only been about 2 minutes. I show the bouncer my ID. I head inside, waiting for Jake. The bouncer doesn't even card him. Then I gasp when the bouncer puts one of those neon bracelets on his wrist. You know, the ones that let the bartenders know you're over 21. Jake just goes along with it. He lets Michaela pull him inside and I'm left to follow. The sounds of a pulsating beat float around me. I sway my hips to the music for a moment before running off after Jake. Thank god, he's more than tall enough that I can see him. The place is packed. People are dancing on the dance floor, by the bar, by the tables and anywhere else they can move. I finally manage to make my way over to the table where Michaela plops down at. She tries to get Jake to sit beside her but he stays standing, looking for me. I wave my hand and I see relief on his face.

We're in VIP and have a table to ourselves along with a few chairs and the padded bench that runs along the wall. I say hello to the girls I met earlier along with being introduced to some new people. A guy named Tomas rises so I can sit. He's sexy in that smoldering hot Latino way. His hair is black and slicked back without looking like he tried too hard. His shirt is tucked into his slacks with a couple of the top buttons opened. His slacks are somewhat snug kind of showing off what I guess he wants to show off. I smile graciously and sit as he holds my hand to help. Jake growls softly but it seems only I notice. Then I look to his left where a very pissed off Michaela is glaring at me. That just makes me smile more brightly. Turns out Tomas also happens to be Ana Maria's brother. The bouncer out front is their cousin. Their other cousin, Javier, is the DJ. We sit for awhile having a good time. There are a couple more guys named Miguel and Richard who go out with a couple of the girls. A waitress stops by and leers at Jake who orders a beer. I just ask for a Coke.

A few of the girls wander off to find dance partners as I sip my drink. Miguel takes Kayla's hand to lead her to the dance floor. Richard takes off with his girlfriend. Michaela pulls Jake to the dance floor. He looks at me and I shrug. He nods and saunters off. Tomas sits next to me. "It's merengue."

I look at him. "Merengue?" He nods and points to the dance floor. The music is fast and watching the people move on the dance floor almost makes me dizzy. I watch as Ana Maria spins under some guy's arm and then once again in the opposite direction. She never falters or loses a step. She smiles at him as she pushes her hair out of her face. Then she does some _Dance with Me_ move where one leg slides out to the right as she shakes her torso. The guy laughs and follows along. Soon they're moving in sync with one another. "That's not rehearsed?"

Tomas laughs good-naturedly. "Not at all. She's supposed to follow his lead but Ana Maria has always been one to go against the norm. She can out dance most people here. She used to compete when we were younger. Then that bored her so she moved onto other things." I nod. My gaze can't help but fall on Jake and Michaela. Michaela moves decently and seems to be teaching Jake what to do. Her hands land on his hips to explain how they should move. I grip my glass tighter. Jake laughs at some stupid thing she says. He actually spins her and never loses the rhythm of the music. I want to stab her eyes out with my little sipping straw.

"So does your fiancé know you are in love with another man?" I spit Coke across the table. I quickly grab some napkins and wipe it clean. I look at Tomas whose eyes sparkle impishly. "Ana told me earlier that you're engaged but not to Jake. I am sorry but it is quite obvious, even to me. Ana Maria says I am the densest man she knows. So if I can tell..." His words trail off.

I swallow. I look back at Jake who is now moving closer to Michaela. He seems to have gotten more than the basics of it. His hips move sinuously. His one hand is low on her back while he leads her with the other. The song turns into another one. I look at Tomas and nod. "He knows I care deeply about Jake."

Tomas looks at Jake appreciatively. "Ana Maria came home today and told me she met the sexiest man alive." He scoots closer so I can hear him better. He looks at Jake and licks his lips. "I have to say, my sister's observations have never been so astute." I just gape at him. He laughs and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. "Don't look so shocked Bella."

Then he shocks me even more, leaning so close that I can almost taste the beer on his breath, "Of course that doesn't mean I don't find you equally attractive. All that porcelain skin? It makes a man want to nibble on it until it flushes with passion." He trails a finger along my forearm. He looks past me onto the dance floor. "Seems Jake doesn't like me being this close."

I grin at him, "You're incorrigible." I sneak a peek at Jake who looks livid. I offer him a quick smile. He winks at me. I turn back to Tomas. "What are you playing at?"

Tomas shrugs his shoulders while taking a sip of his Corona. I watch as the slice of lime swirls about in the bottle. He puts the bottle down. "I cannot stand Michaela. I hate how she treats my sister...so if bothering Jake bothers her, well, I won't lie and say it will bother me much."

I just smile at him. "You're...hmm...I can't think of a polite word for it." He was just so up front and a refreshing breeze from what I'm used to.

He laughs and strokes my cheek with his thumb. "I know. Isn't it great? Now come on, white girl, let's dance." He stands and hauls me to my feet. I stammer that I shouldn't. I try to tell him that this could be volatile to his health but he ignores me. We reach the dance floor as he quickly spins me tight to his body. "Who the hell you think taught Ana how to dance?"

I bite my lip trying to look down but our bodies are too close. "I don't know what I'm doing."

He rolls his eyes. "We watched the others dance for a few songs. You know the basics Bella. Trust in yourself." For some reason, his words seem to be about more than this dance. His eyes burn into mine. "You survived your first spin. Now, I'm going to move back but your eyes stay on me. Don't look down because that's when you'll mess up. Try not to over think it because you already know what to do."

Again his words seem to have a hidden meaning. I do as he says. He takes a step back, placing both his hands on my hips, leading me. I find the rhythm and just let go. I look into his face, smiling, "Holy crap, I'm dancing."

**JPOV - - -**

I watch Bella move on the floor with that fucking GQ looking prick, Tomas. Oh wait, Mr. Call me Tommy. I'm about to Tommy his ass if he doesn't remove his hands from Bella's fucking hips. Michaela's speaking to me but it's just static. Finally I force myself to pay attention, "Huh?"

She seems a bit put off by my lack of interest. "I said, I'm feeling kind of ignored." She moves us around so I can't see Bella anymore. "Tommy's a really great dancer. I'm sure he can show Bella a thing or two."

I bite my tongue. I don't want that motherfucker to teach Bella a damn thing. I take in deep, steady breaths to calm myself. What the hell right do I have to care? She's already taken. This guy has no better shot than I do. I let the feelings of crap just fade away. I spin Michaela around. Another song blends into the one we're dancing to. After a few songs, the beat sounds different from what we had been dancing to. She frowns at me, "This is salsa. I'm really horrible at it. Let's..."

Ana Maria swoops in and takes my hand, winking at Michaela. "She is but I'm not. Come on, big boy, show me how you move."

I look over at Bella and see Tomas teaching her the steps. I nod at Ana Maria as she leads me to the center of the dance floor. "Okay, show me what to do."

She tells me to look at her feet and it's basically a side to side dance. She encourages me to move a little closer. She takes my hands and we're dancing. "There you go. I mean, it is a bit more intricate than this but this is good. Now watch my feet." I do and she's moving side to side but the inner leg works its way a little behind the other. I try to mimic her movements but get lost a few times before finally catching on. "Good, good. Now keep in time with the beat. It's not as fast as merengue."

We dance and I see that Bella has given up. She's by the bar with Tommy. He has his hand on her lower back. He catches me staring and winks. My hands want to clench into fists. Ana Maria sees my distress and looks over her shoulder. She looks back at me and grins. "Ignore him. He's harmless. Besides I think he fancies you more." My mouth drops open making her laugh. "But I don't think he would mind Bella either. He just goes with the flow. Relax Jake. He doesn't stand a chance with her. We both know that."

Her words crush me. "Yeah, because she's engaged." The words leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

She looks at me like I'm dumb. "No, because she can't tear her eyes away from you. I saw it today at the park. I saw it earlier when you were dancing with Michaela. I can't believe you haven't."

I say nothing but look over her head and sure enough Bella's staring at us, well, me. I smile at her and she returns it. "I think you're delusional. We're just friends. It's what she keeps telling me."

Ana just laughs, "And I don't think you're trying hard enough. She's engaged right? Yet she's in California with you, not her man. And she's not married yet."

I shake my head. This chick doesn't know what she's talking about. I try my damnest not to let her words give me any semblance of hope. "She doesn't need me as much as she needs him. Her words."

Ana Maria presses her body against mine. It's nice to feel someone do that willingly for a change. Her voice is soft, but with my werewolf hearing it's not an issue. "She doesn't know it yet."

I want to ask how she can possibly know that when the DJ's voice blares through. _"This is DJ Rated-R spinning the best of merengue, salsa, bachata, and reggaeton for all you freaks. Now this next song is a classic but it's my prima's favorite. __Ana Maria, esta canción es para ti."_

A song starts to play that has Ana Maria squealing. She drops my hands to do some spin thing before pressing up against me once again. "It's El Preso. I love this joint. It's what we all grew up dancing to at all the house parties." I just nod because I have no idea what she's saying. She looks towards the DJ booth and points while nodding. "Jav is the best."

**BPOV - - -**

I watch as Ana Maria twirls and manages to get Jake to spin her without him faltering in his dancing. Tomas offers me his beer which I gratefully take a sip, okay three, from. I hand it back to him. "I'm so confused."

Tomas pats my bare shoulder. "Of course you are. But I think you're not as confused as you think you are Bella." I bite my lip and say nothing. I just watch as Jake dances another song which turns into another and another. Then the DJ tells us he's switching it up. It's not salsa and definitely not merengue. I look at Tomas. "Reggaeton. You dance it...well like that."

I follow the direction of his beer bottle. Bodies are grinding and rubbing against one another. They're pressed against each other in ways that make me blush. It kind of reminds me of reggae videos. Tomas grabs my hand and leads me into the throng of bodies moving. He turns me around so I am flush against his chest with my back. "Move your hips against me. Yes, Bella, like that." His voice is in my ear. "Jake's watching." I turn to look but Tomas keeps me still. "No, let the man watch for a moment." He links his fingers with mine and helps my body get accustomed to this dance.

Then I bite my lip from crying out as I watch Michaela start to stalk towards Jake. I move before I can even think about it. I mumble a half ass apology to Tomas. I only want to get to Jake before the blonde does. I reach him and he looks at me in surprise. I press on before I lose my nerve, "Dance with me."

I can't even look at him. I hear him tell me okay. Ana Maria smiles at me as she walks away. Jake's hand finds its way to my waist, bringing our bodies closer. I feel his breath on my face before I hear his voice, "It's okay Bella. Just move." And I have no choice but to do so. The song is all energetic beats and riffs. I have no idea what they're saying but I haven't known for the entire night, so who cares? All I can feel is Jake moving with me. I take a step closer and wind up straddling his right leg as we sway back and forth. He dips his head closer to mine as we let the music steer us. I can almost taste his breath. Then the DJ's voice cuts across the room.

_"Esto es para todos los gringos que tenemos aquí esta noche. __I was digging around my crates and am about to bless you all with some old school joints. Let's rock this bitch."_

The song changes into hip hop. That much I recognize but I don't know the song. Jake on the other hand is jumping all over the place. "It's Leaders of the New School." I must look blank. "Busta before he went solo."

I do my little two-step and dance along. Soon enough we're surrounded by the others. We're all jumping around and dancing. Jake and Miguel are doing the running man which makes us all laugh. The song fades away as DJ Rated-R's voice comes through again, _"And now to slow it down before I burn this place down. Hmmm, I love me some En Vogue. Those women were sex personified."_

Michaela steps towards Jake but is intercepted by Tomas who winks at me. Jake takes a step towards me and I towards him. Our hands find one another so he can pull me against his hot body. I feel myself burning up and welcome it.

_What's it gonna be  
Cuz I can't pretend  
Don't you wanna be more than friends  
Hold me tight and don't let go  
Don't let go  
Have the right to lose control  
Don't let go_

I feel myself struggling to breathe as I listen to the words. Oh god, I want to run from this place. I want to run from these arms that keep me warm and safe.

**JPOV - - -**

_I often tell myself  
That we could be more than just friends  
I know you think that if we move too soon  
It would all end  
I live in misery when you're not around  
And I won't be satisfied 'till we're taking those vows  
There'll be some lovemaking, heartbreaking, soul shaking  
Oh, lovemaking, heartbreaking, soul shaking_

Fuck, her heart is racing. Are the words affecting her as they are me? It seems this song's meant for us. At this moment where we're at such a fucking crossroads.

**BPOV - - -**

_I often fantasize  
The stars above are watching you  
They know my heart and speak to yours  
Like only lovers do  
If I could wear your clothes  
I'd pretend I was you and lose control  
There'll be some lovemaking, heartbreaking, soul shaking  
Oh lovemaking, heartbreaking, soul shaking, oh yeah_

I bite my lip. These are the type of thoughts that consume me when I'm with Edward thinking about Jake. Missing Jake. Wishing he were there with me instead of the one I pledged myself to. When I dream, it's not about Edward anymore. They're all about Jake. I take in deep breaths to try to calm myself down. Then the next part of the song has my knees buckling.

_Running in and out my life has got me so confused  
You gotta make the sacrifice  
Somebody's got to choose  
We can make it if we try for the sake of you and I  
Together we can make it right_

That's what I do to him. I run. Then I try to bring him back into my world only to hurt him again. All he's done is love me. The way I am. I can't breathe. I push away from him, "I..." Then I do it again, I run away.

**JPOV - - -**

I watch as she runs through a mass of people. When will I have enough of watching her do this? Then someone pats my shoulder. I turn around to see Michaela looking at me. "I never stood a chance, did I? You really do love her, don't you?"

I nod, "I'm sorry. I didn't think I was..."

She shakes her head, "Don't. Why don't you go get her Jake?"

I watch as Bella makes her way to the front of the club. "What for?"

Michaela slaps me upside the head. I just gawk at her. "Because she loves you too, stupid." She turns on her heel and walks away. I see Tomas smirking at me and run after Bella.

I push through the mass of people. I finally find myself outside and see Bella racing towards the car. I have the keys so I really don't know what she's doing. I call out her name. She ignores me. I chase after her, catching up rather quickly. I grab her arm turning her towards me. Her eyes are wild.

"Bella?"

She shakes her head, slamming her hands against my chest. "Why can't you be an asshole? Or freaking ugly?"

I just stare at her, "Huh?"

She just keeps rambling, "Why are you sort of perfect? You don't want to change me. You respect me and let me make my own choices even if you don't agree with me. You don't handle me, treat me like an invalid or moron. Why? And god, could you be sexier?"

I run my hands through my hair, "And that's bad?"

She looks at me like I am the stupidest person alive. "Bad? Bad? Of course, that's bad. I fell in love with Edward. Then he left and I was broken. Almost beyond repair, but you never wavered. You were there. Always there. Then there were the times where I felt I could let him go and just fall into you." I just stand there staring at her as she goes on. "Like in my kitchen..."

I speak softly, "We almost kissed."

She looks at me sadly, "Where we almost kissed. And it scared me how much of me felt ready for that. But then Edward, pretending to be Carlisle, called. That set off a whole other chain of events."

I glare at the moon in the almost black sky, "That's when you took off for Italy even though I begged you to stay. Begged you, the only thing I ever really asked you for, besides giving me a chance to be your friend."

She looks at me in awe, "But you let me go. Even though it hurt you, you let me go."

I shrug my shoulders, "What the hell else could I have done? You were determined to save that asshole. You felt you had to so I took a step back. But you just took that douche-head back with no problems. Just went back to being his without even making him work for it. I had to work for everything, every smile, every laugh, I worked so hard for it, and he gets everything without any fucking effort. He reaps the benefits of everything I've done for you. I'm sorry. Fuck that shit. I was so pissed. I still am."

She runs her fingers through her hair like I've been dying to do all night. "Then you kissed me. I punched you."

I grin at her, "Then you asked me to kiss you and told me you loved me but needed him more." I swallow the nonexistent lump in my throat. "Um, what are we doing here Bella? What's with this sucky trip down memory lane?"

She looks at me, "I'm his singer. I never have to fear that he'll leave me. If I chose you, you could..."

I feel my mouth harden into a straight line. I hiss at her, "Imprint. You'll be with him because I could, might, whatever, imprint. But it might never happen at all. It's rare. But you'll pick him because of that when he wants to down your blood like a shot of Patron? You're gonna throw away everything, Renee, Charlie, every goddamn thing just on the off chance that I might imprint and he's the safe bet? Are you fucking kidding me?"

She gets in my face, "Because I love you so fucking much and if you were to imprint, I could never come back from it. What I feel for you scares the living shit out of me. So don't you get all pissy with me, Jacob Black. And I still do love him."

I lash out at her, "Are you sure Bella? Because it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself about that; not me. No, what you love is that he'll always come back because you're his _singer_. What a load of bullshit!" But wait, she just said she loves me. Why are we fighting when she finally tells me she loves me? Oh god, she's going to be the death of me.

"Bullshit? And if we were to get together and you see some girl? Some random chick that would destroy what we could have? What kind of bullshit is that?" She inches closer to me. We're both beyond pissed now.

"It can happen which means it might never happen. What kind of sick way is that to live your fucking life? I love you Bella. You love me yet we can't be together because of something that might happen? What kind of logic is that? Yet, you're willing to turn into one of the undead? You seriously think it's alright to throw away every damn thing in your life because at least with the bloodsucker you never have to worry about the off-chance that you might, maybe be hurt some day? When did you start acting like a coward? You're gonna hurt everyone who loves you so you don't have to worry about being hurt?" We're both screaming now. Oblivious to those watching us from the front of the club. We're in no danger of being heard where we're at.

"Because it keeps me safe!"

"You're going to marry a leech! Are you..." Then her mouth is on mine. Or maybe mine is on hers. Who knows? Who fucking cares? Her tongue teases mine as I press her against the side of the Audi. I nibble at her neck as she pulls at my hair to bring our mouths back together. I hear clapping coming from the direction of the club.

She bites my lip and I purr. Yeah, purr like a fucking cat. Her hands are on my arms, trying to work themselves under the sleeves. "Open the door, Jake."

I find the stupid keys in my pocket and manage to unlock the car. I almost drop the keys but manage to keep a grip on them as I slide my other hand along her hip. I grip the skin there tightly and she moans into my mouth. She starts to suck on my tongue like I would like for her to do to my dick. I yank open the backdoor. I hoist her up to deposit her on the seat. I somehow manage to get the door closed. "Bella..."

She's sprawled out across the backseat. I'm straddling her legs, hard as a brick. I smell her start to get wet. She's breathing as heavy as am I. I fumble for the keys to lock the doors. Thank goodness the windows are tinted. The front of her dress falls to the side a bit exposing more of her breasts. I have to taste her. I need to taste her. I lean forward as she rises up. She thinks I want to kiss her, which I do. Only it's not her lips I want now. I press my lips to her mouth softly as she sighs. I reach around her neck and untie the knot at the base of her neck. She stiffens as I drag the braided strands of material to the front. She holds the dress up preventing me from seeing her. I let the ties fall and take her hands, intertwining our fingers. I lean forward and capture her lips with mine. I nibble on her bottom lip. I work my way to her chin and along her jaw line. I use my teeth and tongue along the hollow of her neck and shoulders. She relaxes under my touch. Suddenly, she shifts, spreading her legs a bit. Her arousal hits me like a leech biting on my balls. I growl against her skin and yank the offensive material down.

"Jake!" Her surprise at my brazenness dies down as she starts to moan. My tongue traces circles around her nipple as my other hand massages the soft globe of flesh. Her hands grab fistfuls of hair. I don't care because she tastes like berries. Summer berries barely ripe for picking. I blow warm air on the small bud, delighted how it hardens even more. Then I engulf it into my mouth, sucking and gently nibbling. All I hear is the rapid beating of our hearts and jagged breathes. Then I hear something else. I hear his fucking diamond charm banging against the wolf I made her.

_She's not mine. We can't do this. _I wish I could will the words away but I can't. I was raised better than this. I deserve more than this. I should be her first choice. Not her right now choice. Not her second choice. I reluctantly pull away. She moans her protest. I look at her and know this memory will forever haunt me. Her skin is flush with want for _me_. Her lips are swollen from _our_ kisses. Her eyes dark with lust. This will be the memory that carries me through life after she turns into one of them. Lifeless. Cold. Stone-like. I mutter the words out through tightly clenched teeth. "We can't do this."

Her mouth drops open. The look of hurt that flashes in her eyes cuts me to the bone. She scrambles to the other side. "You don't want me?" The question nearly kills me.

I shake my head. I reach out and stroke her cheek as she fixes the top of her dress. "I want you so much it hurts." I look down at my throbbing erection threatening to burst out of my jeans. I look up and see her eyes have landed on it as well. "You know I want you. I just wish...I just wish you wanted me the same way I want you."

Her eyes get glassy with unshed tears. "I want that too but I want to be sure. I can't keep hurting you like I have. Running back and forth between the two of you. It isn't fair. To you. To him. To me."

I nod, hating that she's right. "Like the song?"

Her head bobs up and down. "Oh god, it just hit too close to home. I..."

I grab her hand and kiss it. "No worries, Bells."

Her mouth softens with a gentle smile. "You called me Bells. I was scared you weren't ever going to call me that again."

I give her an empty laugh, "You're Bells no matter how hard I wish you weren't. Look, the whole purpose of you coming along was to get some breathing room. Let's just stick to that. You don't have to make any life altering changes right now. We just go back to being _Jake&Bells_. No pressure. Deal?" I offer her my hand.

She licks her lips. Wow, that's not cool dude. She takes my hand in hers and gives it a firm shake. "Deal." I nod and try to adjust my erection in my pants. "Jake?"

I fidget around for a bit. "Huh?"

She looks at me. "I do love you. I just need for you to know that." I nod and climb into the front seat.

I look at her through the rearview mirror. "I love you too, Bells. Why else would I go through all this? I just have to make sure that you're sure that loving me will be enough." We head back to our room. The drive is short.

She says nothing as I park. We make our way through the lobby to the elevators. I press the button for our floor. I take out the key card to open the door. She turns to me. "I need to shower."

I just nod and plop down on my bed. I grab the remote and turn on SportsCenter as she gets her stuff to shower.

**BPOV - - -**

I hurry to the bathroom. I shut the door, dropping my things on the counter. I turn the shower on. Hot. It's the only way I can take them now. I take off my dress. I take off my boyshorts. I step inside and sigh when the hot water cascades over me. I bite my lip to stop the moan that threatens to spill from my lips. My mind cannot help but go back to being pressed against the car. His hand gripping my body through the thin material of the dress I was wearing. How much I had wanted him. I don't know if I kissed him first or he kissed me but it was heaven.

The bathroom quickly steams up reminding me of the club. All those bodies pressed against one another. Jake's body against mine when we danced reggaeton. Being able to feel every goddamn inch of him. I moan and quickly cover my mouth with my hand. I peek around the shower curtain. He can't hear me. I mean with the shower running and him watching TV, he must not be able to hear me.

I quickly shampoo my hair, moaning when the tendrils tease my aching nipples. I rinse my hair out and condition it. This makes me moan again. The slippery strands brush against my taut nipples. Reminding me how good it felt when Jake took one into his mouth. I squeeze my legs shut trying to ease some of the ache. It isn't working. I step under the spray washing away the conditioner from my locks. I grab a washcloth and squeeze body wash onto it. Jake always told me he loved how I smelled like strawberries dipped in vanilla frosting. I nearly lose my breath when I feel the rough cloth against my breast. Of course, I would start cleaning myself there. I slide my other hand down my flat stomach to my tightly curled bush. I spread my legs, trying to keep my breathing from being too erratic. Then I just forget when I brush my clit with my thumb wishing it were Jake's fingers instead. "Jake..."

**JPOV - - -**

I lower the volume of the TV. Not too much because I don't want to make it obvious that I'm listening. I can hear her heart racing in her chest. I then get instantly hard when she moans my name. _My name_. What is she doing? I roll off the bed and crawl to the bathroom door. I use all my werewolf guile to quietly open the door slightly. I am greeted with a sight that nearly has me cumming in my jeans.

I can see her outlined through the shower curtain. Her legs are spread as she massages her breast. I can't really see her other hand but can see she's working it between her legs. Fuck. She's playing with herself thinking about me. The scent of her desire mixes with the scent of her bath products. I'm getting drunk of the smell alone. I slowly shuffle my body away from the door. I hurriedly unzip my jeans, freeing my cock from my underwear. I crawl back to the door. I see her t-shirt on the floor by the night table. She was wearing it at the park earlier. I grab it and wrap it around my burning dick wishing it were her hand instead. I hear her cry out softly my name. I'm on my knees moving my body as if I were making love to her. I bite my lip hard so not to cry out. Oh, she's getting into it now. She lifts one leg and braces it on the edge of the tub. I have the door opened just a smidge so she won't be able to see me. I hear her moaning that she wants to feel me inside her. I pull on my length and groan as the stiff material scratches my dick. I run my thumb along my slit, reveling in the pre-cum just dripping there. I jerk myself off with one hand and squeeze my sac with the other. My balls are heavy, ready to release. I can tell she's getting close. Her breathing is coming quick and her gasps are incoherent now. _That's right Bells. Cum for me. Cum wishing it was my dick inside that tight pussy. Ugh..._I shoot my load into the t-shirt. I hear her cry out my name seconds later. I brace my forehead against the wall trying to get myself under control. I slowly press the door closed. I wipe myself clean and throw the shirt into our laundry bag. I make my way to my bed and put up the volume of the TV. I lay back with a genuine smile on my face for the first time in days.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Okay guys, just want to let you in on some fun news. When I originally started this story, it was going to be cutesy and only a few chapters. Now? OMG, the fun stuff my beta, Shelby Sue, and I have in store for you guys. It's going to get bumpy.**_

We spent the day at California Adventure. The crew from last night even met up with us. I actually had a good time. Michaela was fine, even funny. No one said anything about Jake and I although Tomas just looked smug. It was fun and made me appreciate my youth and having friends. We said goodbye to them after eating a less than healthy dinner. Ana Maria and I switched numbers. She demanded that I call her whenever we're in Cali again. There were hugs, even from Michaela. "You take care of him Bella. He's one of the good guys." She had no idea. I nodded and took Jake's offered hand.

Now we're on the hotel shuttle. Sure, the hotel website says only 2 blocks from the park. They don't tell you it's a ridiculously long 2 blocks. The longest 2 blocks in the entire world. We hop off and head into the lobby straight to the elevators. Since last night's shower, I am way more relaxed. I smile to myself remembering why I am so lax. Jake catches me and I feel the blush burn the tips of my ears. "What's so funny Bells?"

I casually shrug my shoulders. I am not about to share that with him. "Just going over the day. It was a good one."

He drapes an arm around me. "Yeah, it was. Got dibs on the shower?"

I nod. "Sure." We get off the elevator and head into our room. I start to gather some of my things. Nervously, I turn to him. "Jake, I need..."

He cuts me off, "You want to call Edward and want some privacy. I get it. Don't worry. There's a Fridays across the street. After my shower I'll head over there and grab a bite. No worries Bells."

I sigh while shaking my head, "No."

He looks confused and it makes me want to kiss him. "No?"

I smile, "I want to call Carlisle. At the hospital. Let him, them, know I'm okay. I sent an email to my dad's work email earlier."

He just stares at me. I start to fidget until he's right in front of me. Just staring at me. His voice is soft, "Okay."

I feel like we've somehow managed to jump over some huge hurdle. I just nod and head to the bathroom. Some twenty minutes later, I come back out, dressed and nervous. I towel dry my hair, trying to stall. Jake looks at me amused. I glare at him, "What?"

He just rolls his shoulders. "It's just the doc Bells. Breathe dude." And with that I let go of the breath I've been holding in. He shuts the bathroom door behind him.

I moisturize my legs and arms. I find my face cream and rub it into my skin. Then I run a comb through my damp locks. I grab my mouse, liberally applying. Afterwards, I gather my hair and plait it down my back. It's so long right now, almost at my waist. I should cut it soon. I know that I can't put it off any longer. I grab my cell and call Forks General Hospital after having found the number online earlier.

_"Good evening. This is Josie. How may I help you?"_

I struggle for a bit, mumbling, "I would like to be connected to Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

_"Excuse me?"_

I clear my throat, finding my voice. "I would like to speak to Dr. Carlisle Cullen, please."

_"Okay dear. Just give me a minute."_ I can hear the rustling of papers. _"I see that he has rounds now. Let me transfer you to the ER. Please hold."_

I pace around the room. It seems too quick when another voice answers the phone. _"ER."_

"Um, hi. I need to speak to Dr. Cullen please. It's important."

The bored voice answers, _"Dr. Cullen is on rounds now. Could another doctor help you? Or maybe you can tell me what's going on."_

I shake my head as if the bored voice can see. "No thank you. I really need to speak to Ca...I mean, Dr. Cullen. Can you page him? It's Bella Swan."

Bored voice seems to come to life then, _"Chief Swan's daughter? His son's fiancé?" _Before I can even answer, bored voice tells me to hold on and he'll personally find Carlisle for me. Okay then. It seems to take forever. I'm tempted to just hang up. I'm sure he's busy, even in a small town like Forks.

Then he's on the line. _"Bella?"_

His voice is soft, familiar and family. I sigh, "Hello Carlisle."

He tells me to hold on. He wants to talk to me privately and has to find an empty room. It's rather quick when he's back on the line. _"Bella, my god, are you okay? Where are you? Is Jacob doing well?" _He seems to realize he's babbling and pauses.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I've made you worry." There I go again, falling into place like a good dog. Get it? Dog? Ha ha.

_"Think nothing of it. I understand that you would not have left if you felt you had any other choice. Believe me when I say, the family and I are the ones that owe you an apology. We should never have gone along with what Edward wanted. We were inconsiderate of how our sudden disappearance would affect you."_

I am at a loss for words. This isn't how I thought this chat would go. I stumble on, "It's okay Carlisle. I know that the family acted in what they thought were in my best interests." The words felt like lead in my mouth. That's bullshit and I know it. He knows it. I take in a deep breath and release. "You know what? You're right. It hurt me when you all left, not just him. Yes, he's who I missed most but I thought that I was a part of your family." He starts to interrupt. "Wait, please let me finish. You all just went along with him. He's not God. And with all due respect Carlisle, I thought you were head of that household."

I flinch at his sharp intake of breath. Then I relax when I hear Jake clapping in the bathroom. That gives me the strength I need to get through this.

_"You're right. Forgive me my weakness. Edward thought he was protecting you. I also just couldn't let my son leave without us. But with that decision, we destroyed the familial ties we had with you."_

I open my mouth to correct him but snap it shut. He's right. Things aren't just off with Edward as of late. It's off with all of them. The brotherly things about Emmett that made me happy are irking me. I can't even get started on the ever growing distance between Alice and I. Jasper skirts around me like I have the plague. Rose? Well she's Rose and that's that. Even Esme seems to hover as if making sure I'm still around. I jump when Carlisle says my name. "I'm here. Sorry. I'm just going over what you said."

His voice is tense, _"I see. Bella, perhaps we can't undo what's already happened but we can try to go forward from here."_

"What do you mean?" I am curious as to where he's heading with this.

_"I don't know how to tell you this without further devastating your faith in us."_

Then it dawns on me. The stupid tracking device. Of course the family would know Edward had one installed in the car. "I know about the GPS. Jake found the receipt in the glove box when he was looking for a map."

He's surprised. _"Uh, well then. I'm sorry Bella. Edward always places one of those ridiculous tracking devices in whatever car we buy."_

I once again nod as if he can see. "Okay."

His voice is lighter when he speaks again, _"I want to tell you that when we got home and found out you were gone, well, we were upset. I can only imagine how you must have felt. But Rose let Edward have it."_

Jake comes out of the bathroom in a pair of lounge pants and nothing else. I think he might be going commando. I struggle to keep my focus on Carlisle. "Rose?"

_"Yes, she's been quiet irritated with his behavior of late, as well as Alice's. She accused him of treating you as a pet. In the midst of their discussion, she saw that he was in fact online trailing you." _

Jake's by my side in an instant. I knew that Edward would do that. Yet, hearing the words and getting affirmation of it makes my skin crawl. Jake takes my free hand in his. "And?"

_"Well, I...well to be frank, she crushed his laptop with her bare hands. She was furious. Words were said after they fell over the railing."_

I cry out, "The railing?"I try to ignore Jake's very amused smile. I also try to ignore the fact that Rose might be my favorite new Cullen.

_"Um, yes the railing. Rose attacked him and, I really don't want to repeat what was said, but he knows where the family stands now. We will not help him coddle you any longer. You're not incompetent. You're a young woman, perfectly capable of making her own choices."_

Jake mutters, "About damn fucking time they realized it." I smack his arm nearly bruising myself.

"Um, thanks for that Carlisle." I am at a loss for words.

_"No thanks are necessary Bella. This is something the family should have dealt with a while ago. We should never let this get a far as it did. Now? You've run away. No one is sure if you're even going to be back for the wedding. Edward's besides himself. You won't answer your phone and here you are calling me. Is it safe to assume you haven't called Edward yet?" _ His discomfort is very evident in his tone.

I snort very unladylike. "That would be correct." I look at Jake. Understanding is in his eyes. He stands and kisses the top of my head before grabbing his wallet. The door shuts silently behind him. "Carlisle, could you please connect me to your house? Is that possible? I would like to talk to Edward."

_"It would be my pleasure. I'm going to put you on hold, then put you on the line when he picks up. I'll just hang up but it won't affect your call. Just hold on..."_

My stomach is in knots. I haven't spoken to him in a few days. The anger is still bubbling under the surface. There's also the feelings of guilt because I basically humped Jake in a club. Jake's also seen more of me than Edward ever has. If Jake didn't stop us, I wouldn't have. Oh god, I think I'm going to hurl.

Then his voice is on the line. Melodic and soothing. _"Carlisle, what can I do for you?"_ I hear the distinct sound of a phone disconnecting. _"Carlisle?"_

I whisper, "It's me."

_"Bella! Love, where are you? How have you been? Are you okay? You haven't answered your phone!"_ His words are said so fast, I hardly catch them all.

"I'm fine. I...I've been good." This is so uncomfortable. We're both so ill at ease with one another. We just stay silent for a few moments. "How have you been?"

He sighs his trademark sigh. I can just picture him pinching the bridge of his nose. _"I've been distraught, Bella. Not knowing where you are. I've called the cell phone company in hopes in tracking you down."_

I bristle at his words. "Tracking me down?" He misses the anger in my voice.

_"Yes. You're off god knows where with a young wolf, a pup, who cannot control himself. You refuse to answer your phone. It's irresponsible of you Bella."_

I feel my free hand clenching at my side. Did he even miss me? It sure as hell doesn't sound like it. Whenever I would go days without talking to Jake, the next time we saw one another I never questioned how much he missed me. It was evident in his voice and gestures. It never sounded like how Edward does now. "The reason, Edward, that I haven't answered my phone is because Jake crushed it."

_"I told you he was a child. Does he even know how much that item cost? Absolutely no consideration for an..."_

I cut him off, "Because I asked him to. I went to Best Buy and got a new phone. An Edwardless phone. A phone you can't track me down through."

He falls silent. His voice is so soft when he speaks again. _"Why is the hospital showing up on my Caller ID Bella?"_

My voice is just as soft, "Because I called Carlisle first. Because I wasn't even going to call you tonight. I just wanted him to know that I was okay so he could share that with you. But he shared some interesting news with me."

His voice comes across as whiny, _"Bella...love..._"

"You were so gracious when I said I had to go with Jake. Offered us money and even one of the family cars. Jake, of course, wouldn't even consider taking my car because he knows you so well. Then while we were driving he looked in the glove box for a map and found the receipt for the fucking GPS instead!"

He sounds offended, _"Bella, your language. Seems I was right to be concerned about you spending time with Jacob. Look at how you're speaking."_

I laugh. "Are you listening to me? Have you ever listened to me really? I am speaking like this because you never really were letting me go, were you? You just adjusted the length of my leash. Goddamn it Edward. Tracking us? What if Rose never destroyed your laptop? What if the family never took a stand against you? How far would you go to keep me at your side?"

His voice is tense, _"I will tell you what I told them. I will do anything and everything in my power to keep you safe and by my side. Jacob loves you? It's, forgive the pun dearest, puppy love at best. He's not even old enough to vote. What the hell does he even know about love? I've waited over a century for you Isabella. You saved me from the Volturi and took me back because you knew it was the right thing to do. Or else you would have chosen the mutt instead. So yes, I agreed to this ridiculous show of youthful rebellion."_

His words cut me like a knife. "I'm only older than him by very little Edward. If what he feels for me is just puppy love, then what makes the love I feel for you any truer? You said it yourself, _youthful rebellion_, that makes me a youth, just like Jacob."

The silence on the other line is deafening. I sit on the edge of the bed, tapping my foot as time slowly passes. Finally he speaks, _"You're my singer."_

I scoff at him, "Then it's just about my blood, isn't it? Maybe I'm in love with the whole idea of a forever with you. It' so fucking epic, don't you think?"

_"Bella, you're being unreasonable. Come home so we can discuss this properly."_

I snort. "Are you kidding me? There will be no discussion. It will be you telling me what's best for me, as usual. It will be you demanding that I not see Jacob, as usual. It will be me being someone I am not, as usual. I'll come home when I feel I'm ready to. Not a second before that."

His sounds pissed, _"Will you be home for the wedding? You do remember that? You do remember the guests that have been invited? All the hard work Alice has put into it?"_

My anger comes through my voice. No more holding back. "Alice has put in all the work because I can't get excited to pick out napkin rings. It's a fucking circus event and entirely her thing. And are you more concerned that I might not marry you because you love me or because it create a public, possibly embarrassing, spectacle?" He says nothing and I know my answer. "I...I have to go. I won't be calling anymore. Not until I decide what I really want."

He's frantic now. _"Bella wait. I...I'm sorry I haven't been more understanding of your needs or wants. But, do you have any idea how difficult this is for me? The woman I love, and who pledged herself to me, is off with another. Someone __who__ happens to be in love with her and who, I know for a fact, is someone she clearly has strong feelings for. I don't have to be able to read your mind to know that Isabella."_

I bite my lip. "No, you don't. It's true. I do love him. I also love you but right now I need to love myself more. Goodbye Edward." I attempt to hang up but stop. "Edward?"

He sounds so relieved. Oh, this girl isn't that easy to dazzle anymore dude. _"Yes, love?"_

"The GPS is on some random Target truck. Have fun tracking it." I hang up and stare at my phone. I stood up to him. I didn't allow him to tell me what to do. I didn't just cave like usual or try to make excuses for him. I stood up for myself. I smile as I rise. I grab my keycard and wallet. Fridays has an excellent ice cream cookie sundae that has my name on it. I text Jake letting him know I'm on my way with a little extra pep in my step.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Okay, so I thought I'd take a crack at this writing shit again, and decided I was cool enough to do a chapter in this ridiculously awesome story. Not sure if I'm correct in that assumption or not, but please be kind, I seriously haven't written anything in almost a year and I'm fragile, lol. Be kind to my ego lovely readers. ~Shelbysue**_

**Embry POV**

Jesus, I love Jake like a brother but really? Bailing out of nowhere to cruise the country like old folks in a Winnebago with Bella Swan without so much as a fuck you? Not fucking cool. And then this shit with the mind reading bloodsucker, it's been so tense around here and we haven't heard anything for a fucking week. What kind of shit is that? So now we're all here for a pack meeting. Well, almost all of us, Leah's not here yet. I freak out for a second, trying to get control of my thoughts before they get out of control and start chanting in my head. _Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Keep your mind on nothing Embry, we'll have this little pow-wow and then you can phase and go home and- Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. _Quil takes this moment to pay attention to my thoughts, fucking eh Quil.

"_Dude, are you fucking high? What's wrong with you right now?" _Half the time the motherfucker is too retarded to pay attention to anything, and this has to be the one thing he notices? Before I can even try and come up with some kind of answer someone else interrupts.

"_This is bullshit, the queen of bitch town's off dealing with her rag or some shit so we all have to sit out here phased, in the rain, waiting to hear about how Jake's off tapping Bella's white ass all over the country."_ Paul spouts this shit while digging at the ground with one paw.

_This is complete and total horse shit and I've about had it_. Just about the time I lose my grip on nothing and think this thought Quil pipes in; thinking I'm speaking about Leah.

"_Dude I know, I've had it too, but there's no way to get rid of the harpy, at least Sam __**claims**__ there's no way to get rid of her ass." _Dumb motherfucker has no clue what I'm even mad about.

"_Listen goddamn it, you think I wouldn't do something if I could? You think I like hearing how pissed she is that I imprinted on Emily? How badly she wants to rip my balls off? How I'm somehow fucking responsible for the way her damn life turned out? I'd give anything to have her out of my head for good so fuck you for even suggesting I wouldn't do everything and anything in my power or anyone else's to get her out of the pack."_ Sam's pacing and huffing, almost using his Alpha voice, and I'm seething at all these arrogant pricks.

They look at me when they hear that, but before I can even get my head straight to lay into each and every one of their asses Leah flies into the clearing, eyes on fire, panting and snarling.

"_You want to be rid of this bitch so fucking bad? I'm so goddamn evil? Fuck you all. You act like I'm such a goddamn freak for being a female wolf or god forbid being fucking angry because you"_ She snarls and points her snout in Sam's direction, _"Made promise after fucking promise you couldn't keep and had the audacity to tell me you fucking loved me, you fucked me even after you imprinted on her. And the rest of you hateful motherfuckers act like my life is so goddamned wrong and fucked up? I'm not the one pretending like my dad's not a fucking cheating bastard, like I don't have a fucking half-brother that my father never had the decency to step up and take care of. Yeah I'm such a mess, right? Fucking hypocrites." _She looks deadly, but I can see that she's seconds, just seconds away from falling apart. I've watched her too long to not know what she's feeling, even if she's good at hiding it from the others.

"_You know what you hateful, spiteful cunt? I pray to God you're infertile like you think you are because I'd be terrified of any demon spawn that came flying from between your legs."_ Paul's words settle like ten tons of shit on top of all of us. I'm completely torn between lighting his ass up and running after her to make sure she's okay. He'll be around later, she might take off and never come back, I have to go after her. Fuck these assholes anyway.

"_Hey man, what the hell are you chasing after her for? She talks about you more than anyone else."_ Quil's been my best friend, well one of, for as long as I can remember but right at this moment he can take a flying fucking leap for all I care.

"_You assholes, you…fuck…you assholes have no goddamn sense of anything do you? What is she wrong about? Since day one not one of you insensitive bastards has thought for one second about what that woman is going through. Sam, you fucked her over from the beginning, you disappeared, came back and did nothing but lie to her so you wouldn't have to be alone. You gave her a ring, asked her to marry you all the while knowing you were going to spend the rest of your fucking life lying to her. Whose best interest was that in, huh? And you did, you fucked her even after you imprinted on Emily because she wouldn't give you the time of day at first. You treated her like your sloppy seconds after she gave you chance after chance. Then her dad dies, she finds out the truth about you and Emily, becomes a wolf, watches her baby brother- who by the way did __**NOTHING **__today, or ever, to stand up for her- turn into a wolf and to boot she's terrified that everything she ever wanted from life has been taken from her in the blink of an eye. How much shit did you expect her to take before she started using anger and bitterness as a defense? And let me tell you another thing, she's not wrong about any of the people that could have been involved with my mom. She struggled my whole fucking life to put food on the table and not one of those fuckers you call fathers did a goddamn thing to make it right. So why should I be pissed because she had the guts to say what I never did. But I will tell you this Paul, if you ever, fucking __**EVER**__ spout off some shit like that again it'll be your last motherfucking words you heartless prick. Don't you ever doubt me on that one motherfucker. I've never been more disgusted to be a part of this pack, a part of anything. Fuck all of you." _And with that I'm off, I have to find her scent before she gets too far. She's fast, faster than all of us, and if I can't find her soon I don't know what I'm gonna do. I wish Jake was here, shit he'd know where to look. Fucking bastard. He picks now to go MIA on us? Wait, Jake used to go to the cliffs, maybe she's up there, I saw them talking there right after the newborn fight.

I'm flying up to cliff when I catch a whiff of her scent. Wolf or human? Human. Human is less threatening, it's more comforting. Well, I don't know about that, but at least I can talk to her. I phase, slip on my shorts and slowly walk up to her. She's standing with her back to me in her sundress, staring at the ocean. She whips her head around and glares at me through her tears, her face red and splotchy, god she's beautiful. Even when she's destroyed she's beautiful.

"Fuck off Embry, I thought I made myself pretty clear earlier. You think I want to be part of this fucked up pack of mongrels? I want nothing to do with any of you, and I've had enough of you all thinking I deserve to be treated like shit." She stands, fists clenching at her sides, ready to face off. I say the first thing that comes to mind, completely honest and with no ulterior motives.

"You don't deserve any of this Leah." I move my hands out away from my waist, palms facing her gesturing around us. It's true, I mean every word. She deserves more than being a wolf, more than feeling not good enough for Sam, more than wondering if she'll ever feel a baby moving in her, more than being stuck on this no good reservation.

"Fuck you Embry, don't try to butter me up so I'll go back there and talk to them. Fuck them, there's nothing they could say that could make it better. Seth will let me know when I have patrol, I'm not going to any more pack meetings, alpha orders or not. Just get the hell out of here, I don't want to hear the lies or hate that's about to come from your mouth." She's not as loud as she was before. She's still standing there like a warrior goddess; strong, bronze, beautiful, but broken. She's vulnerable and scared inside. None of the rest of them would ever know, but they don't know her like I do. They don't see what I see, they aren't outsiders like me and Leah. Neither of us belong here. I say the only thing I can think of; over and over, it's all I can think.

"You deserve so much better than all of this Leah, you deserve more." I'm holding my breath, she's either going to collapse or kick my ass. She's in my face in an instant and I guess I have my answer. I brace myself inside, but I don't flinch, I won't let her push me away now. I've got her attention, her time, and something in me starts to boil up.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You can't talk to me like that, you can't act like you give a flying fuck about me! You've never said anything to make me think you give two shits about what happens to me, about what they say when I'm around. And don't even get me started about what happens when I'm not around. I know what they call me, I know what everyone thinks of me. I know no one wants me goddamn it, don't try to sugar coat the shit." She's still so close, but she doesn't swing at me. Instead her hands are splayed out on my chest, like she can't decide whether to push me or hug me. I make up her mind for her, wrapping my arms around hers, holding her to me. She needs this comfort, and she's gonna listen to what I have to say.

"You're right, I never stood up for you Leah, and for that I will always be sorry, but I didn't want to make you feel like I didn't think you couldn't take care of yourself. You're strong and brave and independent, and it seemed like speaking for you would be the highest disrespect, and I just couldn't do that to you. Not to you Leah. You're right to be angry with all of them, especially Sam. I know you don't want to talk about the specifics, but that kind of selfish fuckery is beyond heinous. Everyone has mishandled you, and no one acknowledges it. Well I'm acknowledging it and telling you right now, I won't stand for it anymore. I will lay the pimp hand down on Jesus himself if he ever thinks about disrespecting you, so don't think you'll get away with it either, you feel me? And by the way, you're high on fucking crack cocaine if you think no one wants you."

She stiffens and tries to pull away, but I've got her like a vice. She may be faster, but this wolf is stronger. I'm not sure where this is coming from, but feeling her body pressed against mine, holding her here, having her in my hands, arms…I want her closer. I want all of her on fire for me. I'm on fire for her and if I'm not careful we're both gonna get burned. My cock twitches in my shorts, but she's so caught up in her self-deprecation that she doesn't feel it, thank God.

"Don't. Don't tell me someone someday somewhere will want me, it's a bullshit line I've heard from my mother way too many times and-" I've heard enough, I grab her by the shoulders and shove her back from me just far enough that she can see my face. Her eyes widen with shock and it gives me the moment I need to set this straight. She clearly missed my point.

"It's not bullshit. And I'm not talking about someone someday somewhere. You're so damn beautiful, you're…shit, you're amazing and I want you." I pull her back to me, but she's resisting, fighting it, trying to push me away.

"Who do you think you are? You can't play with me like this, say things just to make me feel better. Words like that have consequences you asshole." I shake her, not hard, just enough to startle her into silence, into stillness and I take advantage of that stillness, dragging her body flush with mine. She gasps and at first I think I've hurt her, but then I realize she's felt what she's doing to me and realizes that I might not be lying after all.

"I'm not easy Embry. I'm not here for a quick fuck. I might be a bitch, but I'm not the pack bitch." Is that what she thinks this is? She doesn't realize a fucking thing. My God, what have they done to her? It doesn't matter, I'm going to undo it, no matter what it takes. I pull her body even closer, and though she's telling me she doesn't want me, won't let me, her nipples could cut glass and I can smell how wet she is at the thought. That smell, it drives me over the edge and I lose any restraint I have. I crush her to my chest and run my nose from her neck up to her ear, loving that her breath hitches at my actions.

"If I wanted a quick fuck I'd be down at Forks High plowing into whatever dumb bitch walked up to me first. I don't want easy; I don't want a onetime deal. I want you, Leah. I want you." I speak quietly, almost a whisper but even I am shocked at the huskiness of my voice. She whimpers and grabs onto my shoulders, but instead of pushing me away she's clinging to me, pulling her body closer to mine, pressing every inch she can up against my flesh. I know I can let go of her now without her bolting, so I release my vice grip on her and move my hands to grab her face firmly. I want her looking in my eyes so she can see my meaning when I kiss her.

Her eyes are wide with anticipation and just a little fear. That's alright, I'm scared too right now, we're crossing some sort of line here and I have no clue what this will do to us, to the pack…no fuck the pack, they can deal. She lets out a little sigh and that's my cue. I pull her face to mine slowly and listen as her heart beat pounds in her chest, her breath quickens and her fingers dig into my skin. It's more than I can take and I drop my mouth to hers not even bothering with a timid, shy first kiss. I shove my tongue into her mouth, searching out hers, dueling for dominance. I move my hands down her neck, down her shoulders and back, over her ass and squeeze just under it and without hesitation she jumps and wraps her legs around my waist. I walk with her wrapped around me like an octopus, her arms are everywhere, my hair, my shoulders, my back, my biceps. My God I'm not even thinking anymore. I pull back to take a breath and our eyes meet and I'm lost in her, everything about her. She's let her walls down, let me in and I swear to the Great Wolf I won't take this shit for granted like that asshole Sam.

"You…you make me feel…you don't even understand…so pretty when you look at me that way…like I hung the moon for you." Her kisses move to my neck and I almost fall to me knees, but the realization that I'm holding us both up stops me. I keep walking, not knowing where I'm headed and give her the truth, my truth.

"You should Leah. You should feel that way. That's what you deserve." She looks like she's gonna cry for a second but then her hands are on my face and she's kissing me like she's trying to climb down my throat. I stop walking when I feel my knuckles scraping something and realize I've walked us straight into a tree. I'm all about it, until it dawns on me how fucked up and teenage it is to dry hump Leah against a tree. I'm not doing this like that. I back up and sink to my knees without breaking our contact, our kisses. It's not until I lay her down that she realizes that we've moved at all and she stops moving her hands, her lips, everything. I pull back and look at her and she's got so many thoughts running through her head, I can't even decipher what the look on her face means. Before I can ask what she is thinking she reaches up and touches my face and smiles. That's all I need.

I crawl over her body, so close but not touching and place a gentle kiss on her nose before I move my lips back to hers, relishing in the slight whimper I receive in return. Her hands make their way up my arms and to my hair where she sinks her fingers into my locks and lightly scratches her nails along my scalp, making me groan in her mouth. Which causes her to mewl and sigh, soft and sultry, fuck me this woman is so perfect in this moment. I slide my hands down her arms and to the straps of her sundress as I move my lips over her neck, sucking, licking, nibbling, biting my way over her skin. This dress has to go, I've seen her naked before, but not on purpose, I want to bask in her nakedness. I sit back and it takes her a moment to realize that I'm not on top of her anymore. Her eyes fly open and for a second I see panic, she thinks I've left her here, but once she realizes I'm still here it's just confusion I see. _Oh baby, I'm not going anywhere._

"Take off your dress Leah, I…I want to see you, not as a pack mate, as a woman." She looks dumbstruck at my words, but only pauses for a split second before she's up on her knees and yanking her dress over her head, throwing it off in whatever direction. I can't even begin to care where it went. She's, well she's fucking hot as fuck, but that doesn't even begin to be enough. I take a moment to appreciate her and she takes that same moment to slide up to me, slowly, on her knees. I tell her to lie down, but she just moves closer and rubs her bare chest against mine. It feels amazing, but I need her to lie down if we're ever going to get anywhere. I was obviously not clear enough earlier, so I decide to do something bold. This shit will either bring it home or get me killed. Before she realizes what's happening I reach around and slap her ass, hard enough to get her attention, to earn a squeaky "fuck" from her, but not hard enough to really hurt her. I don't want this to end like that. I run my hand over the spot I just spanked to sooth the sting as I grab her chin with my other hand, bringing her gaze to mine.

"I want you to lie down. Fuck, I need you to lie down Leah." I'm hoping to Christ, Santa Claus, Buddha, anyone who's listening that I did not just fuck it all up with that little stunt. I suck in a deep breath to apologize when I smell it, she's so much wetter than she was before and I realize she liked that. Holy shit on a shingle, I just spanked Leah Clearwater and she liked it. She's laying down in half a second and I can't help the smug grin that's plastered on my face. Let any other asshole try that shit with her and see how far it gets them. _Focus Embry, naked Leah here._

I've never seen a naked woman before, except in _Playboys_, but I'll never need to see another one again. Leah is gorgeous, and completely hairless between her legs which makes it so easy to see just how much she wants this, wants me. Leah Clearwater is wet and ready for me! The teenager in me wants to shove my face between her legs this second, but I realize that I have to be a man about this. I need to be the first person in her life to man up and do right by her. I run my hands up her legs, kneading and stroking her russet skin, paying her the homage she deserves. My actions are rewarded with the sweetest sounds to ever leave her lips, little breathy moans, whimpers, groans so quiet I almost can't hear them. She's staring at me as I caress her body and I can see all the want in her eyes. I slide my hands over her hips, trailing my fingers across her stomach until I reach her tits and grab one in each hand, squeezing and pulling at the flesh but avoiding her nipples. I mold them in my hands, massaging and tugging at them in every direction and she starting to squirm under my touch. My fucking touch unravels her. Apparently it unravels her to the point of begging.

"Please Embry, please! My nipples…something, do something please!" I can't help but chuckle, I've never seen or heard her so incoherent before, but then it's all business. I straddle her thighs and lean over her body and take her right nipple in my mouth, flicking it with my tongue over and over as she mewls and sighs my name. That's enough, right there, to make me lose my mind and I grab her nipple between my teeth and pull, earning a screamed "yes" from her lips. Oh, she likes it rough and dirty. Good to know. I release that nipple from my teeth and run my tongue across her chest to the other one before sucking it into my mouth and sinking my teeth into it, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to pull the hottest noises from her I've ever heard. She bucks her hips under me, and growls and it makes my dick twitch, twice. I let go of her nipple and kiss and lick my way down her cleavage until I make it to her belly button. I want more, but I want to know what she wants.

"I know you like that Leah, what else do you like? What do you want me to do to you Leah?" I stare up at her, my chin resting just below her belly button and am happy to see just how worked up she is. Her hair is a mess, her face and chest are flushed and her breathing is so erratic and heavy, it's amazing, I did this to her. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, opening her mouth to speak.

"Embry, I want…I want to cum for you. Make me cum…please." She's almost shy, and while it's strange and shocking I can't help but feel giddy that I've made her this way. I run my hands down her sides and hips, over the tops of her legs until they are so close to her pussy I can feel the heat and wet. My God, I want to curl up and live between this woman's thighs.

"Can I taste you Leah? Can I make you cum with my mouth?" Fuck me sideways, where in the hell did that come from? And since when do I know what to do with my mouth that's gonna make her cum? _Hi, my name's Embry and I'm a virginal seventeen year old wolf, may I eat you out?_ And then she delivers me from hell with six little words.

"Taste me Embry, I'm begging you." Her hands are at her sides and they are balled up in fists, grinding into the ground. I didn't realize when I asked that how much it would take for her to say it to me, to admit she needed or wanted something from me in any way. I plan on doing everything she asked and more, but first I need to make sure she's okay.

"You never have to beg me Leah. All you have to do is ask." And on that note I lean forward and lick my way from her pussy to her clit, slowly, with enough pressure that she's gasping and babbling. I reach up with both hands and hold her open so I can feast on everything she has to offer. She tastes like nectarines, sweet but tart, hot damn if nectarines aren't my favorite fruit. I flick my tongue on her clit, up and down, left to right, over and over loving her taste, wanting nothing more than to feel her cum. I slip my middle finger into her pussy and it flutters around me, she's so close.

"God Leah you taste so good, fuck I never knew anything could be so good. Please…please cum for me. I want to make you feel amazing baby." My tongue and teeth are back on her clit as I pump my finger in and out of her. I feel her start to clamp down and shove another finger in her, thrusting faster as I nibble and suck on her clit. I feel my cock twitching out of control in my shorts, and realize I'm too far gone to hold back. Fuck me running, I'm going to jizz in my pants like a fucking preteen with my face buried in Leah's pussy and there's not a thing I can do about it. Just as I'm starting to freak out in my head one word comes from her lips that sets me back on track, "close". She's close so I focus all my energy on devouring her, driving my fingers in and out of her while I suckle and bite on her nub. I feel it happening before I hear anything from her, and then it's a huge breath followed by my name, at the top of her lungs. She's cumming with my mouth on her clit and my fingers in her pussy, so hard I almost can't keep thrusting, and she's screaming my name. I have no control over my body, she's taken that from me and I cum; so hard I can't help but moan and growl into her pussy causing her to groan and grind against my face. I slowly pull my fingers from her and look up to see her eyes closed, head lolled to the side; if I didn't know better I'd say she was asleep. I bring my fingers to my mouth and lick them clean, my God I can't get enough of her taste.

"Leah? Are you alright?" I stare at her as she slowly lifts her head and opens her eyes. She's glowing, she looks free and happy and like the world was lifted off her shoulders. She smiles at me and I move to lie next to her. I just want to cuddle with her now. As I move up she looks anxious for a second and looks at my cock, reaching her hand towards me. Fuck. Shit. How do I explain this? Just as she's about to grab it through my shorts she sees the wet spot and sniffs once, twice. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head when she puts two and two together and I must be some new, previously undiscovered shade of red.

"Did you…Embry did you, you know?" Jesus, she's really gonna make me say it, isn't she? Well, I made her ask me to lick her pussy, I guess turnabout really is fair play.

"Um, yeah well…I've never done anything before and, well, that was just fucking hot and I wasn't really expecting to…well, at least not like that. Yeah I came in my damn shorts okay?" She's looking at me like she's holding back so hard, I can tell she wants to laugh, but not out of malice, just out of amusement. Seeing her like this, not angry or mean but relaxed and free, I realize it is funny as hell and we should be laughing, so I do. A big belly laugh that consumes me, it's so loud I barely hear her giggles until they turn into huge body shaking laughs as well. We're laying on the ground on a cliff after all that naked goodness and we're cackling like hyenas. Once we calm down a bit she leans towards me and puts her hand on my chest.

"It's alright Embry, it happens. I guess you weren't lying when you said you wanted me, huh?" Her smile gets brighter and brighter the longer we lay here, and I can't keep the shit eating grin off my face. Yeah, I wasn't lying, I do want Leah, more than I ever knew.

"You have no idea Leah, no idea at all." I sink back onto the ground and pull her over to me, her head on my shoulder, hand on my chest. I reach over and run my fingers through her hair and she hums softly. I look down at her face and her eyes are closed, a soft smile on her lips. I want to see her like this every day, without a care in the world. Suddenly her eyebrows furrow a bit and she looks like she's struggling with something.

"Embry, can I ask you something?" She still hasn't opened her eyes and I suppose it must be important to her if she wants to talk about it post coitus. I hum my affirmation and what she says next, well it's certainly not what I expected.

"What do you think it is about Bella that's so damned special? I mean, Jake gives everything, every ounce of himself for her. Always has. He went against _his_ orders not to tell her, spent all that time on her when she was being such a sad sack over the bloodsucker. And even after she chose him, treated Jake like shit and used him up over and over he's still at her beck and call. Hell, he shirked all his responsibilities around here, to the pack, his father, everyone just to go play house and pretend like they're on some family vacation together. What the hell is so special about her?" I see now. No one's ever fought for Leah, she's always had to fight for herself. I take a moment to compose myself, this has to come out right. _Here goes nothing big guy._

"She's not so damned special. Not to everyone Leah, just to Jake. She's what he wants, the one he can be vulnerable to, comfortable with. She makes his blood boil, and not in the bad way. Sometimes baby…sometimes you find someone in life and you'd do anything, go to any lengths for that person. You'd stand up to everyone you knew, turn your back on everything you had, if it meant you could have that person and have them know what they meant to you. She's just that person for him baby, she's no better than anyone in any other sense. And she doesn't deserve it anymore than anyone else." Her response is simply to sigh my name and snuggle into me a little further. Sometimes it's true; sometimes you would go through anything when you find that someone.

**_This is where I mentioned in the last chapter things were going to run in a different direction from what I had planned originally. We decided to get the pack more involved and really turn this into a story. So, I hope you all dug Shelbysue's chapter. It's wicked hot!! I'm so glad she wrote it...Kristy_**


	9. Chapter 9

_**I would like to thank all of you who reviewed the last chapter written by Shelbysue. I tried to email you all back but writing, "I'll pass it along." was getting kind of redundant. But I sent her each of your reviews and she's grateful. Also I would to clarify, Embry did NOT imprint on Leah. She's just hot.**_

I turn off my car, sitting quietly. I know that I can no longer put this off. It's been a week since I've spoken to Bella. Almost a week since she hung up on me with such malice and contempt in her voice. Rosalie, of course, had gotten such a kick out of the whole thing. I had to run into the nearby woods so she wouldn't listen in even though that might have been in vain. Although as soon as I got home, she was in my face.

_"So Edward, seems you love grew a pair of balls, huh?" The snarl on Rose's face does nothing to diminish her beauty._

_I bristle at her, "Did you eavesdrop on the conversation Rose?"_

_She shrugs carelessly, "It doesn't matter. Your face just confirmed it." And with that she walks away. I punch a hole through the wall much to the chagrin of Esme._

Now it's some 5 days later and still no word. I had even taken to asking Seth, who seems indifferent to us now, if the pack had heard from Jake. His answer is always no. I open my car door and make my way to the front door. I knock gently, hearing Charlie's annoyance in his head.

_Now who in the Sam hell could that be?_ He opens the door and is surprised to see me. He sighs but makes no move to allow me entrance. "Edward." All I get is a curt nod.

I speak, "Chief Swan, Charlie. I can only assume you know why I am here."

_Because you don't know where in the flying pig's eye my daughter is._ I slightly recoil at the spitefulness in his thoughts. But his voice is ever pleasant when he speaks, "Bella." He seems to struggle on whether or not he should let me in. Good manners win. He steps aside allowing passage. "Come on in."

We step inside and I head straight to the living room. He has the Mariners' game on. I sit stiffly and he does the same after lowering the volume of the television. He drops the remote onto the coffee table. Small talk with Charlie is always difficult. I motion towards the TV. "It's a good game?"

Charlie just stares at me. I read his mind but it's blank. Then he pushes himself forward in the arm chair he's sitting in. "I don't know where she is." I read his mind and see that is the truth. "But, I want you to know that even if I did; I would never tell you."

I wasn't expecting him to be so blunt. "Charlie, I understand that you might have some reservations about Bella and I..."

He cuts me off, standing, temper barely in check. "Reservations? Boy, don't try to sweet talk me with your polite bullshit. Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? I don't like you. I don't think you're half the man you think you are." I rise to defend myself but he holds a finger out and points to the couch. I slink back down. He is going to be my father-in-law in less than two months time. I shall show him respect even though he isn't extending me the same courtesy. "I respect your father and in the time I knew your family, you were always polite. Respectful. Any father's dream for his little girl. Then you leave. Your family has to do what's best for itself, I get that. But you, you smug little bastard, broke my little girl. Don't you dare interrupt me Edward, or so help me God, I'll throw you out on your ass. You broke her spirit, her heart and, I feared for a while, her soul. She was a ghost. Then she started hanging out with Jake. Little by little, I could see parts of my Bells healing."

I cannot bite my tongue any longer, "You prefer Jacob to me."

_Of course I do, you little pompous shit. Brush your hair for crying out loud._ "I've known Jake since he was in diapers. I know who he is on the inside. Unlike I do with you." He gestures with his hands. "This? All this is just some front. I have no idea who you are. And after the way you broke my daughter's heart, I really don't want to."

I sigh deeply trying to pick my words carefully. "Charlie, I love Bella. With everything I have. I would never hurt her like I did then."

_Bullshit_. "Bullshit. That's utter and complete bullshit. You don't think I see how she walks around nowadays? You don't think I hear her cry in her room because of some stupid bullshit you put her through? I know all about your issues with Jake. I've heard you talk down to her like she's incapable of making her own choices. I've kept quiet because I am man who doesn't like confrontation."

I snort out loud, muttering, "You could have fooled me."

He actually smiles. _About time you show some grit._ "And I've kept quiet about this ridiculous wedding because I love my daughter and for some reason I cannot fathom, she loves you." _Even though I wish it were Jake. Hopefully she gets her head on straight on this little road trip of theirs._ "I was never for this wedding but I kept my yap shut because Bells was happy. But now?"

I huff, "But now?"

He smiles at me and it isn't at all friendly. "But now, she's confused. She's run out on you and I'm sure you're hurt but I couldn't give a lesser shit about you. My only concern is Bella. So I'm glad she's taking a time out so to speak and figuring out what the hell she wants."

I place my hands on my thighs in hopes of calming down, "Or who she wants."

_Well, the boy knows he has some competition._ A tight smile plays upon his face. "I won't lie to you. I want her with Jake. They're just the more natural fit. She's not herself when she's with you. She's so guarded. Uncomfortable. Like she's trying to live up to whatever standard you hold her to. With Jake? Well, they're friends. I don't think you're really her friend. I don't think you ever tried."

We just sit in silence. I grow uncomfortable. I stand, getting ready to leave. He follows me to the front door. "Has she contacted you at all, Charlie?"

He scowls. _Goddamn it to hell, this boy won't quit. Won't hurt to tell him about the email._ She's emailed him? Unbelievable. He answers me cautiously, "She's emailed me twice this week. She says she won't call the house." He gripes in his head_, But she'll call me at Billy's? Makes no damn sense. _Well played love. I can't even step onto La Push. I won't be able to go and listen in. I'm surprised at her skill for evading me. She knows that if she calls Charlie, I might be around to hear. Charlie's looking at me curiously. "I don't know what the hell you're thinking but I want you to knock it off."

I am shocked, "Excuse me?"

He takes a step closer to me, "I said knock it off. I can see the wheels in your head turning Edward. If my daughter wants you, then she'll come back and marry you. If she doesn't..." He just smiles that empty smile again. "Well, if she doesn't then I expect you to honor her wishes."

I am offended. "I will do whatever she wants me to. She knows that."

He looks at me sadly. _Oh the dumb schmuck_. "If she knew that Edward, she wouldn't have run off. She would be here with you instead of wherever with Jake. You think about that." Then he promptly shuts the door in my face without even saying goodbye.

I walk to my car, furious that he might just be right. But I know what's best for her. How can no one see that? Understand that? I lay my head on the steering wheel. _Oh Bella, my love, come back to me._ I turn the car, driving home to a lonely room without my beloved with me. The words that Charlie just said spinning in my mind. Making me wish that I could shut it all out. What if he's right? What if by never truly being her friend, I pushed her away. What if she did feel as if I hold her at some unattainable standard? I want her home so I can make it all right. I can only hope she'll let me make it right.


	10. Chapter 10

We're walking next to each other on the way to Billy's. Quil called and let me know we were meeting at Jake's house, which is weird as fuck. Why not Sam's? Part of me really wants to reach over and grab her hand but Leah's not like that. I know this has to be on her terms, and if I were to make some caveman claim on her, walking into Billy's house with her hand in mine, she'd never forgive me. I'm drawn out of my thoughts by her voice.

"You really said that shit to him? To all of them?" She's still baffled that I spoke up for her. After we left the cliff and went back to my house, since my Mom was gone for the weekend, we fooled around a bit but mainly we talked. I told her what happened after she took off, how I called everyone out on their shit and told them how it was gonna be from now on. How I told Paul I'd end his ass if he was ever rude to her again. She cried a little, and I pretended not to notice, and ever since I told her she keeps asking me this same question.

"Yes Leah, I really said that shit to all of them. Every one of them was wrong for treating you that way, and I was wrong for not speaking up sooner. I have made up for that, just a tiny bit, by saying enough's enough, but none of them deserve your forgiveness baby, not one." Her breath catches when that little nugget pops out of my mouth like I developed Tourette Syndrome. _Baby_? Am I on meth? She's not my baby, we didn't talk about what is going on between us and I just fucked up, pretty sure. She lets me off the hook by speaking, ignoring my little slip.

"You're right. None of them do, but I'm not going to exhaust myself hanging onto shit anymore. And I didn't make it easier for anyone either. If they're willing to start over, so am I. Well, except for Paul, that little bitch should grovel. And Sam, there's nothing he could do to make me see him as anything other than Alpha. He will never be family to me." At this we arrive at Billy's driveway and our chatter ceases. The house looks strange. I grew up playing here, spending the night when we were young and running amok when we got older and it always seemed like a second home, but without Jacob it's lonely. The house looks as lonely as we all feel without him.

I take a big breath and walk to the front door, pausing for a second to wonder if I should knock for the first time in my life, and just push the door open. Everyone turns to look at me and shockingly, they all seem mollified. Leah walks in behind me and for a moment no one says a word. Then the dam breaks free. There are voices, too many to make out who's saying what, apologizing, explaining, trying to make it right to Leah and at the forefront is Seth. He has tears in his eyes as he holds up his hand for everyone to be quiet.

"Lee, I'm so goddamn sorry. I'm ashamed of myself, and Dad would be ashamed of me too. I was the small fry, the omega. I let my fear and the way they all saw me keep me from defending you, standing up for you, being the brother I was supposed to be. I will never forgive myself and I don't expect you to, but please, give me another chance. I need you sis, I love you." The kid is crying now, not sobbing, but tears are flowing down his cheeks and I smile when I see Leah walk up to him slowly and grab him by the shoulders.

"You are my baby brother, there is nothing either of us can do that will change that. We both handled things wrong, and while it hurt me, I can understand that you are only 14 Seth, and you have had so much thrown at you. I love you too baby brother, and you will always have another chance." She grabs him and hugs him and he clings to her and cries. They need this, and for once the pack is doing the right thing and allowing them their moment. Those two have had their whole lives ripped apart, so much worse than the rest of us. We stand there for a few minutes, allowing them to recuperate from that emotional scene when someone clears their throat. We all look up, Leah and Seth included and are shocked to see Paul standing with a pained expression. I look at him and he catches my eye giving me a nod to let me know he understands he better fucking toe the line. He looks back at Leah, making sure he has her eye and sucks in a huge breath.

"There aren't any words Leah. Sorry's not even in the same fucking universe as what I owe you. I'm angry. I take my whole life out on everyone else. I've been an entitled, selfish prick and I don't deserve for you to ever acknowledge me again, but I swear to God Leah, I never stopped to think of what you were going through. Nothing I've gone through will ever compare to what you're dealing with and I had no right, regardless of the chip on my shoulder to single you out and say the things I said to you. And I want you to know I would be apologizing right now even if your brother hadn't lost his mind and kicked my ass until Sam commanded him to stop. Please Leah, let me try to be a better pack brother to you." If it was silent before you can hear a motherfucking pin drop now. I didn't know Paul knew that many words. I look at him and he's fighting back tears as well. I'm in another fucking dimension I'm pretty sure. I look to Leah who is dry eyed, but lacking that hard as stone look she reserves for the pack. She walks towards him slowly and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. She puts a hand on his shoulder in a somewhat friendly gesture.

"Paul, you are an arrogant, self-righteous, hypocritical infant of a man. But you just grew up a bit, and that's definitely a good thing. Maybe you ought to try seeing things from someone else's perspective before you judge them. I'm glad you see that now, and I hope you learn something from it. And as far as being a pack mate-"

"Brother Leah, you're my pack sister, not just some random person." Paul just cut her off, oh snap.

But then she shocks us all, not even raising her voice. "Let's get there slowly Paul, Rome wasn't built in a day. Let's try to be friends first, okay?" That's the Leah I know. She's not going to let everything go and forget, and she shouldn't, no one should. But she's not hanging onto it, she's not cultivating her hatred anymore, and it makes her that much more beautiful.

She turns to the rest of the pack and takes a deep breath. "If you have something sincere to say to me I will listen, but don't bullshit me, and please, one at a time." Now I'm shocked. I'm not even ready to forgive these bastards and here she is allowing them to make their peace. And like the good puppies they are they all line up, Sam, I notice, falls in line last. Mother. Fucker. I don't want him touching her. I shake my head, she's not mine and I can't stop anything. _Let it go Embry_. They all, one by one apologize and promise to be better pack brothers, better people. She hugs them all, starting with Paul and finally Sam is standing in front of her.

She huffs out her breath and before he can open his mouth she launches into speech. "There will always be distance between us. You handled everything poorly and had no respect for me or what was good for me, only your selfish wants. There is nothing you can say that will make anything in this situation right. I haven't handled things well either though, and while you should never expect my friendship, I will respect you as Alpha. That is as long as you act in a manner that warrants that respect. From now on, it's on you how things are between us. I can be civil if you can be decent, but if you aren't going to respect that or me I can't have you in my life, things will be difficult between us. And please, don't call me Lee-Lee ever again. It's not fair to me, and very manipulative of you." Her eyes are steady, no sign of the anger she has held for him for so long. She's making peace, but standing her ground and I want nothing more than to grab her, kiss her and hold her.

Sam looks torn. "L- Leah I understand. I wish things were different, but they're not. I know you think I was wrong, and I probably was, but things happened how they did and there's nothing I can do about it. I shouldn't let my personal feelings affect how anyone in the pack is treated, and I will do better in the future. I wish there was a way that we could all just get along, go back to my place and keep things how they were but the guys all insisted that they wouldn't meet and mine and Emily's anymore out of respect to you. I guess it's a good thing Billy offered his home or we'd all be out in the woods. I…I apologize for everything Leah, sincerely. Would you allow me a hug? Just this once?" Red. I'm seeing motherfucking red. For once the wolf in me and the man in me are in complete agreement, she is mine, I may not have told her yet, may not have asked but I'll be damned if I don't want to kill that bastard for even thinking about touching her. She sighs and nods and my stomach churns. For the first time I am feeling doubt. Doesn't she know what this is doing to me? I haven't talked to her about it out of respect for her situation, but she has to know, doesn't she? He walks forward and wraps his arms around her shoulders as she stands there stiffly, waiting for him to be done. My anger starts to fade, she's just placating him. I relax my posture, smiling a bit when I see him lean his head down to kiss her hair. What the fuck? Who does this prick think he is? I realize a second before he reacts what he's about to smell. Me. I'm all over her. She slept in my bed last night, wrapped around me, head on my shoulder. Fuck. He stiffens an instant before his lips touch her hair and takes a long sniff. He immediately releases her and his eyes shoot over to me, glaring daggers. Oh well, if he wants to go toe to toe two days in a row, so be it.

"You fucking son-of-a-bitch, who the hell do you think you are?" He yells as he stomps his way over to me. Fuck him if he thinks I'm scared, some things are worth fighting for. I have no clue where this side of me is coming from, but it feels like it's always been there, just waiting to be set off. If he thinks he can intimidate me, well he's lost his silly little mind.

"Embry Call motherfucker. What makes you think you have any right to be pissed off?" He's in my face in an instant, but I don't even blink. I call your bluff, bitch.

"So what, she's all upset and you think you're gonna make her feel better with your baby cock? Or maybe you thought you'd get some for playing the fucking hero?" I smirk at him, and I can't help myself. I look at Leah who looks back with a boat-load of emotions on her face. She looks furious at Sam, kind of embarrassed to have our shit out on front street, but also looks at me with kindness and affection, I hope that's her way of telling me she knows that's not true.

I wink at her, me, fucking winking at Leah like Don fucking Juan. "I don't know Leah, would you call it a baby cock? That's not what you were saying yesterday." That was either the smoothest shit ever or the last move I'll make as she may very well kill me.

She stares, wide eyed for just a split second and then smiles a devious smile. I'm still not sure who's gonna get it. "Definitely not a baby cock, baby arm maybe, but not a baby cock. And I would know a tiny cock from experience." She glares at Sam as she spouts of that last bit and I want so badly to piss myself laughing, or grab her and push her against the wall with my tongue down her throat, but now is not the time. Take that shit _Alpha_. He is stunned silent, you can almost see the gears turning in his head as he tries to figure his next move.

Suddenly his face breaks into an evil grin. "You think you're fucking clever _kid_, cause that's all you are, a boy in a man's game. You think I can't stop this? You forget what I am boy, I'm the alpha of this goddamn-"

Billy cuts him off quickly, which shocks me because I didn't even know he was here. He rolls out of the kitchen with a very pissed off look on his face as he addresses Sam. "Oh no Alpha, you're in the Chief's home now and if you think you want to interfere with your wolves' personal lives, I'll have the council so far up your ass you won't shit for a month. This is a quarrel between two men, not between an Alpha and a subordinate. And maybe you've forgotten, but there is another person involved here, and she's not an object. Don't make that mistake again Samuel." We are all shocked silent, everyone looking between Billy, Sam and me.

Then I hear Quil's voice. "Look Sam, don't do this man. You've got Emily, you're happy, right? Why shouldn't they be? Why shouldn't Leah be with him if she wants to be. Or whatever it is that's going on..." He trails off at the end and honestly, I can't blame him. It takes brass fucking balls to defend a friend against your Alpha, and truthfully no one, including me, knows what's going on between Leah and I.

Sam sets his shoulders and turns to glare at Quil when Jared speaks up. "Seriously, you know I've never blamed you for anything that happened, I've understood everything, even if it was shitty. But don't do this dude, don't make her be alone forever pining for you, just to boost your ego. Let her go, she's letting you go, give her the same courtesy." Sam falters, looking between Quil and Jared, shocked that they would side against him. He smirks slightly and looks at Paul, expecting to find his support and maybe a few digs against the two of us.

Paul adds his two cents in, "Don't Sam. Don't look at me trying to make me be the asshole I am struggling not to be. Honestly man, that asshole doesn't even want to back you up if this is what you are up to. You were wrong before, and it's alright, everyone's agreed to move past that. But why do you need to have her miserable so badly? Why can't she be with him, or anyone she wants? He's a good guy, he cares about her obviously or he wouldn't have taken on the whole pack like that. Why shouldn't she get some happiness too?" Holy hell. Well if Paul was trying to score brownie points with Leah it sure as fuck worked. She's looking at him like he's Jesus or some shit.

Then Seth pipes up and I know hell must have frozen over. "That's my fucking sister Sam. I'm the smallest, but don't forget what happened with Paul. You had to command me twice, TWICE, to back off of him before I killed him. Don't fuck with my sister. You may be bigger than me, you may be able to kill me but I'm taking a chunk of your ass with me to the grave. Don't you ever doubt that." Fuck me running Seth Clearwater done grew up. I've never heard that boy cuss until today, but I'm proud as hell of him. This should have been his attitude from jump, but he wasn't there yet. He's more than making up for it now.

Sam is pissed, his nostrils are flared, eyes narrowed and hardened, but his silence speaks louder than words. He knows they won't back him up. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath through his nose. Then another. All of a sudden his eyes fly open and he smiles. Not the smile of a happy man, but the smile of a man who thinks he has one up on you. He turns to Leah. "And what the fuck are you going to do when he imprints Leah? Since you love to hold that shit over my head constantly what are you gonna do when Embry leaves you too?"

Fuck this shit. Now I'm heated as fuck and ready to unleash. "Fuck you for preying on her insecurities. You don't know a goddamn thing about me _Sam, _and just because you were too weak or too selfish to fight the imprint doesn't mean I'm as pathetic as you. You don't know what I've dealt with in my life. It might not be easy but she's sure as fuck worth fighting for, no matter who or what it's against." I spit my words like venom and realize I've charged across the room and am in his face, forcing him to take a step back. I'm so mad I can't even see straight, but I realize there's something I have to say to Leah. I turn my head and look in her eyes, the fear is hiding in them, fear of abandonment, fear of letting herself care only to lose me. "You don't have to worry about that Leah. I meant what I said, you're worth fighting for. And I'll fight it to the death. Don't ever doubt me about that."

She releases the breath she's been holding and smiles at me softly. The fear disappears and her eyes are glassy with unshed tears. I'm pulled from her eyes at the sound of Sam's chuckle. I turn my face to him, waiting to see what bullshit he's going to come up with this time. It's sad really, the bastard is desperate and grasping at straws. I hope to fuck someone tells Emily about this shit.

His voice is so soft when he speaks. Better to deliver the words that slay me. "Aww, the pup's really soft for her. Alright hot shot, you're so fucking tough, stronger than anyone, we get it. But what the fuck are you gonna do when she imprints, eh? When she's done playing games with a boy like you and imprints on a real man, leaving your ass in the dust. What are you gonna do when she can't even remember what it was like with you because he makes her feel so fucking complete?" He's smiling like the fucking Cheshire cat and I want to punch him in his goddamn face but I can't, because I'm frozen. I'm sure I look like I just saw a ghost, because the terror I feel at his words is squeezing my heart until I feel like it's going to explode. And what's worse, Leah says nothing. Not a goddamn thing. I just laid it all out on the line for her and she can't even make an effort for me. Fuck. I should have known. She probably is biding her time with me, waiting to find someone better, her other half, something. Using me to get over her bullshit with Sam. I have to get the fuck out of here. I don't even care why we were called here in the first place.

I muster up every bit of moxy I can and look Sam in the eyes. "Fuck you." That's it. I'm not phasing, I'm not having anything to do with any of them, and Sam won't command me to either, not if he knows what's good for him. I turn and head straight for the door ignoring Quil as he calls my name. I wrench it open, remembering at the last minute I don't have the money to replace it and I slow my roll, walking through the door and shutting it. Once I shut it I close my eyes for a moment, trying to squeeze out all the hurt and anger. I open my eyes and break out into a run. I decide to run home and go to bed. Fuck this shit, I've officially reached maximum capacity. I have half a mind to go to the council and resign, tell them I want to go back to _my_ people on the Makah res and leave this fucked up place behind me. They wouldn't accept, not with the fucking Cullens here and Jake gone. Jake. That's who I need to talk to right now. Damnit Jake, where the fuck are you?

**LPOV - - -**

I'm standing here, in Billy's entryway, we never really made it past that point, staring at the door that Embry just ran through. And Embry just ran through it because Sam is the world's biggest cocksucker and I'm the idiot who was too stunned to back Embry up. Fuck. He has no clue. I'm such a goddamn moron, but I never stopped to think this might be just as scary for him as it is for me. That's what stunned me into silence. I never thought of it from his point of view. And damnit, he's put it all out there. And it's good too, he thinks I'm worth fighting for. For the first time in my life I believe I am worth something to someone, as an equal and I have to go and fuck it up because of Sam's words. Sam. I'm raging right now, I wasn't even this angry when I found out he was fucking Emily. I turn my gaze on him and for the first time this evening his face shows fear and shame. Well too little too fucking late bitch.

"You son-of-a-whore, who the fuck do you think you are? You are nothing but a manipulative, conniving, selfish little bitch. Yeah, I said it. Boys, your Alpha almighty is nothing but a bitch. You think he's not worth fighting for either? Well it just goes to show you don't know the value of anything or anyone. And about forgetting how someone makes you feel because someone new completes you? News flash you limp dick mother fucker. He had me screaming his name to the gods the first time he went down on me. How many times did I scream your name Sam? Can't remember? Try never bitch. Keep your scarfaced whore and take your Alpha status and shove it up your fucking ass. I hope to Christ Jacob gets home soon and has found his nuts because you aren't worthy to lead a flea circus, let alone this pack of mighty wolves. You're a goddamn disgrace." And before he can respond I am flying out the door. I catch Embry's scent and run after him. God I've fucked up. I care for him, maybe too much too fast but I have to let him know. Right about now I'd be talking to Jake, asking him how the fuck to fix this, but he's not here. He's off chasing his Bella, and before now I would have mocked him for that, but I've found something worth fighting for too. Damnit if he isn't taking his dear sweet time though. _Where the hell are you Jake?_

**New Mexico (Same Day) - - -**

We finally pull off I-25 and head towards Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. It's quite unbelievable, after 8 days, we're finally here. All I see is road and more road. I keep driving, following Bells' directions. I see a building here and a building there. And where the hell are all the trees? The land is so different from home. Home is green and lush. New Mexico? It's all shrubbery where there seems to be more brown and beige than green. It's a bit hard to describe. I let my thoughts take me back to our little road trip that got us here.

We stopped in San Diego after leaving Anaheim. We visited the zoo which turned out to be a big bust. Seems like the smaller animals and the deer could sense I was a wolf. They would screech and holler whenever I would approach the exhibit. I finally got fed up and juts hung back while Bells _oohed_ and _ahhed_ over every little fucker. Then when we went to check out the tigers, those bad boys wanted to throw down and were practically hurling themselves at the glass of their enclosures. After a little more than an hour, we left. I was so dejected, feeling like a true monster, but Bells refused to let me wallow in it. She just suggested we head over to the ballpark and catch the late afternoon Padres Game. We stopped at a Target store to buy a digital camera because she was over disposable ones. Her reasoning? This was a vacation of sorts and that meant lots and lots of pictures. We had a blast and she took so many freaking pictures of me that after a while I should have charged her. At the game, I finally asked some lady to take a couple of pics of the both of us. Bells looked so cute with her baseball cap on her head that it nearly killed me to resist the urge to kiss her. Instead, like a good friend, I draped my arm casually over her shoulder as the lady clicked away.

We decided not to stay the night in San Diego and drove straight to Tucson. We checked into some hotel for the night because Bells wanted to show me around even though she had lived in Phoenix. She told me her mom loved going to Tucson on a regular basis because of their art galleries and museums. I could tell by the sound of her voice, she had really loved those day trips with her mom. We checked out some art galleries. I'm afraid to admit some of the stuff looked like a 2 year old did them but what the hell do I know? We ate at one of her favorite restaurants where we asked the waitress to take our picture. The waitress' comments had left me with a dead weight in the middle of my chest.

_She takes the picture and decides to take two more. Bells lays her head on my shoulder, her hair spilling down my back. The waitress sighs, mumbling something about "how cute our kids are going to look." She of course rushe__s__ on, telling us not to rush and enjoy this time as young lovebirds. I c__an__ barely swallow or speak. Bells just nod__s__ as the waitress walk__s__ away but I c__an__ see the faint blush reddening the top of her ears as she pushe__s__ her hair back. We leave barely saying two words to one another. Left to our own thoughts and feelings. _

So now we're back to that weirdness from before our almost kiss in her kitchen. The almost kiss that her fucking dickhead of a fiancé interrupted. But I'm trying. Trying real hard to stick to the friend bit. I know it's not easy for her either. I can tell by the quickening of her breath when she thinks I don't know she's staring at me. I can tell at night when she rolls around her bed, moaning my name, _not his_, leaving me no other choice but to go whack off in the bathroom as her arousal fills my nostrils. Is it a bit perverted? Sure, but I never claimed not to be one. Plus, how "cool" would it be to wake her up so she can stop sex dreaming about me? I don't know about any other guy, but if the real me ain't getting any, then a dream version of me sure as hell can. Fuck me, though because I'm mad jealous of dream me.

Finally, after what seems like forever, the semblance of city appears. There are more buildings and I'll admit it's cutesy. The colors are different from La Push. There the colors are more earthy, dull even. Here? There's coral and turquoise to go along with the soft earth tones of some of the buildings. Bells looks at me, "We have to pick a place to stay at. I really want to stay somewhere that has hot springs. My mom always said they were amazing."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, because I need something like a hot springs bath." While driving, Bells explained that hot springs water reaches temps over 105 degrees. If she wants to surround herself with water that hot, why can't she just ask me to keep her warm? Hell, I'm about that temp all the time. I can see her pouting so I shrug my shoulders, "It's on you Bells. Pick a place. Or do you want me to drive around for a bit?"

She flips her hair. God, there's a reason why that move is a classic. It's like in slow motion for me. I shake my head barely hearing her tell me to just drive. I blow out a breath between my lips as we check out Truth or Consequences. Then I see it as I make a right turn onto Broadway. "Bells, that's it. We'll stay there."

Her head follows to where my hand is pointing. "Fire and Water Lodge?" I nod. She smiles, "Well okay then." I park quickly and hop out, desperate to stretch my legs. I glance around, laughing. Bells turns to me with questioning eyes. "What?"

I point to the deli that's right next door. Happy Belly Deli. "How could we not stay here? Come on, let's grab something to eat before checking in. I'm starved."

She takes my offered hand making me wish that she would take my offered heart just as easily. I try to bank down those feelings. Her voice is light when she speaks, "When aren't you starved?" We head inside, relieved to see they have some sit down tables. We head over to the counter to order. Bells orders first, settling on a Greek omelet. I tell the guy that I want 2 Happy Belly burritos with guacamole on the side, a green chile bagel with lots of butter and a slice of that awesome looking chocolate cake. Dude, better make it two slices of cake as my stomach grumbles. The guy just gapes at me. I also order the largest Coke they have while Bells orders a lemonade. We go sit down to wait for our food.

She looks at me, playing with the straw in her drink, "Happy Belly Deli?" I nod. "We're staying at this place just because of a deli? Who can argue with that kind of logic?" We chit chat about calling our dads last night. Boy, were they pissed. Thankfully, Charlie was there so my dad couldn't go on and on about how I'm neglecting my duties. But I could hear the heat behind his words. Then Charlie got on the phone. He had some choice words for me before asking me to put Bella on the phone. I guess he got even more annoyed when she wouldn't tell him where we were. She let him know that we were safe and having a good time. No details. All superficial mostly. At the end, Charlie must have grumbled a goodbye because Bella sadly handed me the phone back. I heard a door slam and my father sigh in my ear. He told me that Charlie just had to go, furious that his daughter wouldn't tell him where we were at. Billy assured me that Charlie really wasn't angry, more worried than anything. I heard their whole conversation. I knew what ticked Charlie off was Bella's inability to give him a straight answer about Edward and her upcoming nuptials. Hey, I'm with you Charlie. She seems no closer to any sort of decision than when we left Washington. I spoke with my dad a little longer, feeling immense guilt when he told me about the high tensions running through the pack. I just told him I would be home when I got there. We hung up after I let him know that we would call again in a week.

Bella sighs, "My dad's really trying to be understanding but he's mad. I can't blame him for that. I'm being totally irresponsible right now. I have a wedding in..." Her voice trails off when she notices how still I get at the word wedding. Her tiny hand covers one of mine. "I'm sorry Jake."

I pull away, not bearing her touch right now. _How c__an__ she still not realize that marrying that fucker would be wrong?_ I just shake my head, trying to place a smile on my face. It feels forced and she knows it. "No worries Bella. Just do what you need to." An awkward silence ensues until I see the waiter. "Food's here."

We eat in a subdued silence. I really have nothing to say. I admit to being afraid to open my mouth right now because the only words that will come out are ones of love and needing her. So I bite my fucking tongue. Finally, we're done and I can use a shower.

We head back to the car to grab our bags. I hold open the door for her. She mumbles a shy thanks. I just nod and follow behind her as she makes her way to the counter. There's a short lady back there packing some serious junk in her trunk bent over some boxes. Her hair is pin straight, a medium brown just reaching past her shoulders. Nowhere near as thick as Bells' but has some highlights that let me know she spends some time in the sun. She has her back to us but must hear us approaching. She turns around and my eyes fall to her very ample and quite delicious cleavage in the very low-cut tank top she has on. She's cute but there's just something about her that has me knowing she could fuck a dude up if they tried anything with her. She's curvy in ways Bella or Leah will never be. I take an appreciative look over. Damn, those hips make a man want to lick his lips in approval. The lady looks amused. I turn to Bella who's staring angrily at me. Like holy shit does she look pissed. What? She has a fiancé. Remember how she kindly mentioned him in the deli? What the hell does she want from me? Wants me to play dead like Edward?

I glare right back. She has some freaking nerve. She doesn't want me. So I'm just supposed to pine for her for the rest of my days? Give her and Eddie Sparklenuts something to giggle about? The anger leaves her eyes, quickly replaced with hurt. That I understand because that's what I look like every time I leave her with that dickhead. That's what I look like every time I miss her or think about her. Bella turns back to the other woman. "Um, hi. We need a room."

The lady looks us both over. I can literally feel her eyes dance over my skin. She speaks, her voice has a kind of singsong quality to it, "I see. For how many nights?" Her fingers fly over a keyboard.

Bella mulls it over and decides on a week for now. Maybe add some more nights but we're not sure. _No babe. You're not sure. About a damn thing._ Bella hands over her ID and a cash deposit. The lady is typing as she speaks, "All I have available for that duration of stay, and any extra nights if needed, is the Palms Room. Has its own hot mineral tub plus shower in suite. That'll do?"

I answer her, "Yes, that's fine. Thanks." She looks at me curiously before finishing up on the computer. She squats down and comes back up with a key. I hold open my hand so she can drop it.

She lets the key dangle while looking at me. Okay, this is kind of weird. It's like she's looking into me rather than at me. Then she blows me out of the water when she asks, "Now can I inquire, young Alpha, what you're doing here?" With that the key hits my palm.

_**The first part of the chapter is written by my lovely beta, Shelby Sue. Baby, you rock and you're in my prayers. I wrote the Jake/Bella part. We hope you enjoyed it. I now know where I am going with this and hope you all are looking forward to it. **_


	11. Chapter 11

The keys hit my palm and just sits there. I just stand there. Bella kind of falls forward to brace herself on the check-in counter. The woman stares at me, sighing and rolling her eyes. "Maybe I should properly introduce myself before just asking things like that huh?" I think I manage a nod. Not sure but she continues anyway, "Name's Shelby Sue." She turns to look at Bella. "Yes, as in that Shelby Sue that your momma took up with after leaving your dad."

I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. Bella clears her throat, "Um, that's..." She loses her train of thought. Maybe she never had it to begin with. She tries again, holding out her hand this time, to shake Shelby Sue's. The woman accepts and they exchange greetings. "It's nice to meet you."

Shelby Sue releases her hand and comes around the counter, sizing me up it seems like. She purses her lips and gives Bella her attention once again. I feel like I'm watching some weird ass show. Like I'm not really here. "We've met before honey. Hell, I've even changed a couple of your stinky diapers but seeing as it's been close to 18 years, I'm sure you don't remember."

Bella shakes her head, "No, I don't." She struggles, trying to find the words to gloss over the unease. "You look great."

Shelby Sue preens at her words. "Really? That's fabulous. Well, since a leech caught his tongue, might as well show you two to your room." Holy shit on a stick, she said leech. Even Bella stumbles at that. Shelby Sue puts her hands on her hips, glaring at us both. "Now come on, I don't have all day. I need to head over to the bar in a bit. Move your asses."

We follow because really, what choice do we have? She called me Alpha. She said leech. Hell, if I weren't a wolf, I think I might have fainted. Fuck, I feel pretty close to it right now. We follow her out the front door and around the corner. The doors to the rooms are on the outside of the building. We pass a decent size pool and what Bella tells me is a hot minerals tub. Shelby Sue informs us that some of the rooms don't have private ones. We finally stop at this room and it faces the street and the Brands and Chaps Saloon.

Shelby Sue must catch me staring. "Yep, that's my place. Opens at 3 and closes at 2." She unlocks the door and heads inside giving us a quick tour. There's a kitchenette with a small fridge, 2 burner hot plate, microwave and sink. Points to the cupboards and tells us there's some cooking stuff in there if we need it. Shows us the bedroom and the king size bed. There's only one bed and my cock jerks in my shorts as if it wants to test drive the bitch. I follow them to the bathroom where there's this huge ass tub that I can actually lay out in. Back into the living space that has a couch that looks like it's seen better days. Well, if anything I can always crash there if Bella values her virtue or whatever.

Shelby Sue tells us if we need anything, just holler and makes to leave. I grab her arm. She looks at me with a pissy look on her face. "Yes?"

I finally find my voice. It's hoarse and shows I'm not to be fucked with. "Why did you call me Alpha?"

Bella sits on the couch as Shelby Sue rolls her eyes, "Because you are. Because instead of taking over the pack as is your birthright, you're traipsing around the great U.S.A. because this young girl here can't make up her mind even though it's already made up. That's why. Now how about you let go of my arm Alpha? I have business to tend to."

I do as she asks but I block the door so she can't leave. She sighs in frustration and looks at Bella who just shrugs. Shelby Sue puts her hands on her hips. "Look I know you have questions and yes, sweet child, I have answers but I also have to go open up the bar because my normal guy? Well, he quit a week ago and my 2 waitresses don't come in until 5 to deal with the dinner crowd. If you're interested we serve food until 8. I'm also the bartender until I find someone. So yes, I will answer your questions but they have to wait. Place closes at 2 like I said before. Stop by at 1:30 because the crowd's thinned out by then. We can talk shop then."

I let her go because other than forcing her to stay, what are my choices? Tie her up? She has that freaky look about her and she might actually dig that. God, she might actually be made for Paul. Better her than Rach. She moves to walk past me when I speak, "My name's Jake. Jacob Black."

She pauses and looks at me. Her small hand reaches out and strokes my cheek softly, reminding me of someone but I can't think of who. "I know sweetie. I just love fucking with you." She winks and saunters out. I close the door behind her. I lean forward and brace my head against it. I smell her before I feel her arms wrap, well try to at least, around my waist. She presses her cheek to my back. My hands automatically find hers and our fingers intertwine so perfectly.

I turn us around and now it's her pressed against the door. I lower my head to the place where her neck meets her shoulder and just inhale her scent. Strawberries with a hint of vanilla. She's like my own personal ice cream sundae. The air shifts; sizzles with promises of what can be. I hold myself back because that's not what she's offering. She's offering me _friendship_. The word is now synonymous with words such as the bubonic plague or torture or genocide and the like. I bank down on my yearning and just pull her close.

**BPOV - - -**

I cradle his body against mine as best I can. God, The look in his eyes a short while ago made me shiver. In a good way. Then I saw him change and he just hugged me. I stroke his back as I go over what the hell just happened. The lady, oh my god, Shelby Sue. My mom's Shelby Sue who still looks to be about 21 and not close to 40 like my mom. Like the past 18 years haven't happened and she stayed frozen in time. It's kind of creepy. Oh my god, and then the stuff about Jake. Calling him Alpha? Knowing who he is. It's just too much. Who is she? What is she? She can't be a vampire because Jake would have smelled her. A wolf? No, he would have been able to tell. Finally, what has my hairs truly standing on edge is that she said I already made my choice. Have I? Really? Without a shadow of doubt because it seems I'm drowning in doubt. Jake finally releases me and takes a step back. His eyes look dull and I hate that.

He rubs his face. "I'm going to take a shower. Maybe a nap after." I just nod and watch him go. I unpack for us both. I take out the netbook and type out an email to my dad.

_Dad,_

_Hey. I know you're pissed, disappointed and a whole lot of other stuff at me. I deserve it. I know I do. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to just take off like I did but I had to. I couldn't let Jake just leave like he was. I couldn't let Edward do that to him, to us. I know you want to know where I am but I won't tell you. It's for the best even if you don't understand why. Just know I'm safe. Just know Jake won't let anything happen to me. And just know I love you._

_Bells_

I hit send before the mushiness factor of the email sets in. I fiddle around online, checking out possible day trips in Truth or Consequences and the surrounding area. There are a couple of art galleries we can check out although Jake might have gotten his fill in Tucson. There're a couple of national parks. I bookmark some of the sites to show Jake. I check my email, happy to see that my dad wrote back.

_Bells,_

_I am all those things but I guess I get it. You got a whole lot of your mom in you. Above all else, I want you to be sure you know the real reason of why you left. You really need to think hard baby girl. And yeah, yeah, I love you too._

_Dad_

Oh god, is it really let's pick on Bella day? I groan, knowing he's right. Fearing Shelby Sue's right. I bite back the scream lodged in my throat and cover my face with a pillow. Then I hear his voice. I throw the pillow to the side and try really hard not to drool. Or let my tongue slide out of my mouth like it wants to. He's wet. Water dripping down his body but steaming off. His lashes are wet. Odd that I notice that. But they are and they make his eyes look even more beautiful than normal. I think I'm a fool. _Sort of beautiful?_ Was I high when I said that? He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen with the heart to match.

Jake runs a hand along his jaw. "What's up?" I guess I've been staring too long. I shake my head and get up. I move to go past him but he grabs my hand. He knows me to well and can tell something's on my mind. "What's the deal Bells?"

I just shrug, "Um, nothing really. Just emailed my dad. He's still pissed but loves me. You know, the usual father/daughter stuff. I'm going to soak in the tub while you nap. Wanna stop at a supermarket and grab some stuff? I'll cook us something tonight. I'm kind of tired of eating out." The smile that lights up his face makes my heart soar. I shake that feeling off, trying to remember Edward. Then try to shake off why thinking about Edward feels so wrong now. Feels...unpleasant.

"Can you make that chicken stew I love? I really have a hankering for it." There's a boy's delight in his eyes. Something I rarely see nowadays. I nod and he kisses my forehead softly. I sigh and head towards the bathroom.

**JPOV - - -**

It's a little after one in the morning. Bella's pulling on some socks. I get out of bed to grab my jeans. I pull off my basketball shorts and yank them up. I grab a t-shirt and shove my feet into my Nike flip flops. I hope the bar doesn't have a dress code. Bella gets her kicks on and stands, grabbing her wallet and key to the room. She looks at me expectantly.

I ask her, "Ready?" She nods and we head out. Cross the street and we are in the bar less than two minutes after closing the door to our room. It's not the dark, dank place I thought it was going to be but what the fuck would I know about a bar?

Some big muscled guy steps in our way. Still shorter than me though. His voice reminds me of Vin Diesel, all gravelly. Probably helps him get laid a lot. "What the hell do the two of you want here? You're..."

Shelby Sue's voice cuts him off from behind the bar, "Lawrence, you leave them be. They're not here to drink. Just to visit me. Go off and hump one of those tarts you were so interested in earlier." Muscle guy glowers at us before taking off towards the direction of the pool tables where said tarts are bent over, giggling.

We head over to Shelby Sue. I'm surprised there're as many people in here as there are. It's a Tuesday night. No big games yet she's got a handful of people at the bar drinking. Some scattered about the tables and more than a few over by the pool tables and darts. She sees me glancing around. "There's a wedding down at one of the splashier hotels this weekend." She pours Bella and I some water. Bella takes a sip after thanking her. Shelby Sue just smirks at me before hollering, "Last call. I'm closing up in fifteen. Now, hush up. Whining about it won't make me stay open any longer."

Holy crap, there's like a stampede as people put in orders. She just ignores them, wiping the counter with a rag until they quiet down. She smiles and looks at the crowd. "Now that's more like it." She looks at me, motioning me to get behind the bar. "You know how to work that?" She motions to the tap. I nod. "Good, if you want beer, just ask this handsome thing. Anything else, come see me."

We clear them out pretty quick and it turns out fifteen minutes in bar time is closer to forty in real people time. One of the groomsmen is lagging at the door trying to convince Shelby Sue that he could make her night. She just laughs him off and closes the door behind him. Some guys come out of the kitchen area and wave at us before leaving. Shelby Sue locks the door and gets herself a beer. She hands me one as well which has Bella's eyebrows up by her hairline. She clinks her bottle against mine and I take a much needed sip. The liquid is refreshing as it glides down my throat. I chug about half the bottle before setting it down. There's nothing. No buzz. Not like the time I sneaked a bottle out of the fridge to share with Quil and Embry.

Shelby Sue smirks at me again. Dude. "Nothing right? It's like drinking water. It's your body temp. Immediately burns away the alcohol. Cool huh? You'll never get drunk and pay homage to the porcelain god." I look at Bells who purses her lips. Shelby Sue pouts, actually pouts. "Aww, you two are no fun."

Bella takes another sip of her water. I offer the rest of my beer which makes her shake her head, eyes all wide. Fuck, does she have to be so adorable? I turn back to Shelby Sue who has a knowing look on her face. I grunt out, "Come on now."

Shelby Sue huffs, "Fine. I know who you are Jacob Black, son of William Black, great-grandson of Ephraim Black because you are of my blood. Your tribe is of my blood. I am what the animal spirits call a sentry. An immortal. I have walked this planet since the first wolf phased. I have watched as our wolves have dwindled down to your pack. It is not how it once was. Before there were **at least** 20 wolves phased at the same time. Sometimes closer to 40 or 50, depending on the threat."

I drop my bottle and it crashes to the floor. Holy fuck. Is she kidding? I have to ask, "Are you serious?" I look at Bella whose mouth is open in shock. Okay, so I'm not alone in that.

Shelby Sue hands me a rag to clean which I do quick as piss. "Yes, it's true. The wolves were a force to be reckoned with. The bloodsuckers knew we were, are, a worthy opponent. They tried to take us out but for every wolf they were able to kill, another took his place. You're both wondering how this was possible. Previously, there was a royal family of females whose purpose was to lay with the wolves. To bear their young and continue the lineage of protectors. Well, the vampires found out about the matriarchal family and came to La Push to wipe them out. They had lured out the wolves in a battle while they sent a few of their kind to our lands. Not enough wolves stayed behind to protect the females. They were slaughtered. Oh, how I cried that day. I was lucky enough to save a handful of females after killing a couple of vampires. The older ones who were past the age to give birth and one young one. That young one, cursed female, got scared and decided that she no longer wanted that life. No longer wanted the honor of continuing the bloodline. She ran away, like a fool. Like a coward."

**BPOV - - -**

Her words are making my heart race. I can't shake the feeling that what we're about to hear won't make me happy. I ask her, "How could she do that? Especially after what happened to the rest of the women in her family? I mean, she had a responsibility..."

Shelby Sue cuts me off, fury in her eyes as she looks at me. "I don't know Isabella. How did you find it so easy to leave your betrothed to follow Jake out that door and out of Forks? How did your mother find it so easy to leave your father?"

Jake jumps up, pissed for me. "Hey, back off. What the hell does bringing her mother into have to do with anything?"

Shelby Sue then drops another bomb, "Because my dear boy, that female that ran away? That is her kin. Her grandmother with I don't know how many greats in front of it." I think my heart just landed in my stomach. She looks back at me, making me squirm under her intense gaze. "See a pattern here? You ran away. Your mother ran away when she purposely went to Forks and La Push to seek answers. Fear of that responsibility, as you called it, made her run too. And she's not the only one. From the moment that first female, Estella, ran away the women in your family have continued to do so."

I think I might throw up. So this is something embedded in me? Passed down from generation to generation to be a punk and run away from all that haunts us or scares us? Isn't that the biggest load of bullshit? I push myself away from the bar, standing on my feet, hands on hips. "So I ran because that's what the women in my family do? We run away?" I try to catch my breath. I take in a deep breath and look at them both wildly. "Bullshit. Bullshit! I ran away because I couldn't stand the thought of Jake just leaving. He ran away first. I just followed. Because I was suffocating. I was..." Jake wraps his arms around me.

Shelby Sue says nothing. Just watches us both. She takes out another beer, opens it and places it in front of me. "Sit. Drink. Slowly. I'll finish my tale." I take a small sip, grimacing at the horrible taste. When I look back at Shelby Sue, there's a tenderness in her eyes that wasn't there before. "There just might be hope for you yet Isabella Swan."

Jake stands behind me, protectively. I lean back in my bar stool, eager to touch him in some way. His hands stay on my shoulders. His voice is terse when he speaks, "Go on."

She licks her lips while glaring at him. God, the look in her eyes reminds me of James' in the ballet studio. "You don't order me about Alpha. Only your pack."

His grip on me tightens but I say nothing. "I'm not Alpha. Sam is..."

She cuts him off with a careless wave of her hand, "He's Alpha because you're too much of a pussy ass bitch to step up. Seems you've lost your balls somewhere." I sputter the sip I had been taking across the bar. I grab a couple of napkins and wipe it down as she continues, "So Estella ran south, as far as she could away from wolves and vampires and all it entailed. Well, she found love with some white man and started a life. Life continued on until Renee. She was the last female of that sacred family, living in Arizona. Well, you know your mother. Always curious. Always seeking out more information of all types of things." I smile at her astute assessment. "Well, she did some digging and found out that her family wasn't originally from Arizona but from Washington. She headed to Seattle and got some more information which led her in the direction of La Push. She stopped in Forks and met a young man. A rookie police officer."

I sigh, "My dad." It was odd to hear about their love affair from someone other than them. Jake realizes that I've calm down. I'll ponder her words about me and my chicken shit family later. Right now, Jake and I need answers.

She smiles, "Yes, Charlie Swan. It was a love made out of movies and love songs. He swept her off her feet. He was the foundation she didn't know she needed. Her spirit was so flighty and he was her rock. She loved him, sweetie. Loved him so much, she didn't know where her heart ended and his began. He was just as besotted as she was. For the first time, Renee felt like she was where she belonged. Of course as soon as I smelled her, I befriended her."

I look at her oddly, "Huh? Smelled? She said she didn't meet you until she got to Portland."

Shelby Sue smiles and then she's some old woman. I mean it's just like when Jake phases. It's done in the blink of an eye. Jake's voice is full of awe, "Mrs. Bloodgood? Holy shit, that's where...you can phase?"

Shelby Sue phases back to her previous form, "Among other things. I befriended her. Many take pity, or a liking, to an old woman such as myself. I told her some tales of the past and then..."

Her voice trails off and her eyes grow sad. I swallow the lump in my throat and prompt her, "And then?"

She looks up at me sadly, shaking her head, "And then the Great Spirits lost their patience and sent her a message through me. A prophecy of sorts. They used me as their vessel. Told her how she would sire the mate of the almighty Alpha who would bring peace and balance back to our lands. That her child would stand beside him and help fight against those who prey and suck the blood of the innocent." There's fury in her eyes now. Worse than I have ever seen in any of the vampires that have been trying to kill me these past few months. "The goddamn fools, and close your mouth boy. I'm allowed to say that since they're my kin. Since I am one of them. Fucking morons. By this time, I had been sending her dreams of the past. Hoping to perhaps ignite some spark...something. I was desperate but then that happens. God, your mother freaked and then shut down. She was like another person. I think she buried all of it deep down into her subconscious. She stopped visiting La Push all together yet couldn't really give Charlie an adequate reason as to why. She couldn't even explain it to herself. Then you were born and she was fine for a while. Then my siblings in an even more bonehead move sent her dreams once more unbeknownst to me. Oh, how I cursed them when I traveled to the other realm. She snapped. Told Charlie small town life wasn't for her and when you were about 18 months old, divorced him and left Forks."

Jake's sitting again but has one hand on my lap. "Um, uh...other realm?"

Shelby Sue is just looking at me. I'm just sitting there. Not sure if I want to hear more but know that I do regardless. I close my eyes and give a small nod. Her voice flows around me, "Yes, another realm where we, the Great Spirits, reside. I will explain that to you another day Jacob. Right now, I think Bella wants me to finish this. Well, I couldn't just let her wander off. Especially since she was with young. I knew you would be a girl. It is the way of that bloodline. The first offspring is always female. Afterwards, the males follow. I knew that even though Renee hadn't lain with a wolf, there was still chance as you grew in her womb. I phased to what you see before you and hooked up with Renee in Seattle. We headed south and picked this place off some bus map. She didn't want to go back to Arizona. This just seemed like a nice, neutral spot. I bought this place on a hunch, my premonitions are not of the same caliber as my brethren. About a year had passed when Renee decided to head back home to Phoenix. I stuck around here, hired some year round help and watched over you in Phoenix. I saw that you were doing well and of absolute no use to me at that young age. I missed the trees and the smells of my lands so I head home. Of course, by that time Renee was sending you to Forks to see your dad or he would fly down to bring you back up. I watched like a hawk how close the two of you were as kids. Thick as thieves. Imagine my dismay when young Isabella stopped visiting. Imagine my delight when I found out you were moving back. Then imagine how pissed I was when you took up with that moppy-headed-pale-umbrella-up-his-rectum vampire. Then the whole mess of you running after him to Italy to a city full of their kind? God! I wanted to strangle you myself, especially when I knew that you loved Jacob as well. You're your own CW teen drama Isabella. I hope you knock that shit off soon because I'm getting real bored by the whole mess of it."

I can barely hear Jake mumble under his breath, "Me too." He catches himself and asks Shelby Sue, "But what about imprinting. I...I mean there's nothing in the legends or stories about this female family. I thought..."

Shelby Sue speaks through gritted teeth, "Imprinting is a whole lot of...bullshit." Both our mouths drop. "Yes, bullshit. The Great Spirits decided, without telling me, of course, that they would establish imprinting in hopes of continuing the wolf bloodlines. It has nothing to do with the ridiculous romance our people spun out of it. It's strictly for procreating. Yes, the imprinter has this unholy need to be with his imprint. To do as she asks and says because...well, he has to. He has to keep her happy so she can give him plenty of wolf puppies. Yet, my unthinking brethren failed to realize that when they put this plan into motion they were taking away the choice of the wolves. The wolves before you who were fortunate enough to lay with someone from Isabella's family, chose their mates and yes it was partly done to create a strong bloodline, but it was also done out of love. They were mated for life. If the female lost her mate to battle, then she could choose another. Imprinting was just a backup plan. And a miserable one at that."

I grab the bottle of beer and swallow the whole damn thing before slamming it down on the counter. I stand, a little wobbly, before turning to them both. "Excuse me, but I've had enough. I am going to bed." I hold a hand out to stop him. I look him in the eye, praying he understands. "Jake, you stay here. Finish hearing her out. I...I just need a little time...to process. Good night." I managed to make it to the door. I unlock and head outside, gulping in the fresh air as tears blind me. Imprinting has nothing to do with soul mates? It's about being a fucking incubator. Wow, wait until Leah finds out. Everything I feared is for nothing? I don't know what to do with this information. I stumble across the street towards our room and another nice soak in the tub to clear my head.

**JPOV - - -**

I look out the front window as Bella crosses the street. I sigh deeply as she heads inside our room. I look back at Shelby Sue who has a bottle of Jose chilling on the counter. I take the offered shot and throw it back. I twirl the shot glass in my hand. I look at Shelby Sue. "Well, that went well."

She rolls her eyes, "She needed to hear it. Maybe now she can stop using that as an excuse. So now you only have about another million for her to sort through. Good grief. I swear to all the spirits in all the realms of Great Earth, once that damned first female ran away..." She blows out a breath between her lips. She downs two shots in quick succession. "Whatever. What's done is done. I'll see you here around 3 for training tomorrow afternoon. Bella can have the 3 to 11 shift over at the lodge until Dom comes in to relieve her. That good?" I must look confused because she continues, "The two of you are working for me now. That way I can keep an eye on you both. And she won't be able to run anymore."

I scoff at her, "Like you can stop her?"

Her eyes change. They're multihued with smoke seeming to swirl about in them. Then it clears and her eyes are normal once more. "You're here, right?" I nod. "Because I gave Isabella dreams of Renee telling her about TorC. You stopped at this lodge right? Don't even answer. Because I felt out for you and in return you sensed me even though you weren't aware of it. So let's lock up. I'm done playing by my brothers' rules. I'm going to make sure this doesn't play out the wrong way for you or your female."

I grumble at her, "She's not my female."

Shelby Sue just laughs, "Sure and these aren't double D's every man wants to suck on. Please child. She's your female and we both know it. Come on now, I'm tired. Immortality really takes a toll on my joints."


	12. Chapter 12

**So I'd like to preface this little endeavor of mine with a few things, lol. First of all, I'm unbelievably flattered and humbled that you are enjoying my writing on the level that you enjoy Kristy's. She's amazing and well, to be able to write with her makes me melt. (Plus she's fuckhot and gives me lady wood when she tells me what to do) Also, I have to tell you, I was born in TorC, and I live an hour away from there. Kristy's a goddess and let me talk her into taking them there. Everything about that town is completely accurate, save for the Brands and Chaps Saloon, which Kristy so lovingly let me name. And if you really wanna know why I chose that, holla at me, I'll give you the skinny. Enjoy! ~ Shelbysue**

**LPOV (Same Day/Earlier in La Push)**

I'm running, so hard I'm actually breathing heavy, which is quite a feat for a wolf. He's gone home, I can smell him and as I get closer to his house I catch a whiff of my own scent, it's all over his place. The thought makes me smile for a moment, but then makes my heart constrict. Fuck. What if I've messed up so bad that I never get to smell us together again? What if my scent in his room fades? Oh Jesus, what if some other scent replaces it? I feel like I'm going to throw up and my head is spinning all of a sudden. I stop running when I reach his porch and bend at the waist, hands on my knees trying to clear my head, calm my breathing and keep down the bile. While I'm standing like that, giving whoever might be walking by a birds eye view of my ass sticking out like I'm waiting for someone to smack it I listen. I hear nothing but his heartbeat. He's in there, not moving, breathing so softly I would almost think he was asleep, but I know better, the man snores like a freight train. Do I knock? He has to know I'm here, he can smell me just as I can smell him, and something else, something briny. What is that? Oh hell, I think he's crying, and I can smell his tears. What the fuck have I done?

That sends me into action as I march up to his door, open it without knocking and fly like the wind to his room. I push the door open and see him sitting up, trying like hell to muster a stone face, but he's not had the experience I have with that sort of thing. I can see the hurt, the defeat, the anger and the loss in his eyes and it brings me to my knees in front of him before I can even blink. "Embry I-"

He cuts me off before I can even make a sentence. He all of a sudden finds that look, the _fuck you_ look I've perfected. "Save it. I don't know what the fuck you're doing here, but don't go spouting some shit about me being a nice guy for helping you out. I'm not fucking going back to the pack. Between you and Sam I'm a laughing goddamn stock, and I'm just not going to play the fool anymore. You got what you fucking wanted. You got someone to want you and you got Sam good and pissed. Now get the fuck out, I need to sleep and I need to fucking pack."

Holy fuck he's pissed. Rightfully so, but he's not giving me the chance to explain and…wait what the fuck? Did he just fucking say pack? I stand, hands on my hips. "What the fuck do you mean pack? Where in the hell do you think you're going?" I'm angry, angry is actually a gross understatement. I'm motherfucking livid. He's going to walk the fuck away from me.

He's standing and in my face in about .2 seconds. I've never heard him scream before. "What the fuck do you even care! Don't you dare pretend like you give two fucks about what happens to me! It's obvious you don't give a shit, I don't even know why you're here, did _Sammy_ send you to twist the fucking knife the other way? You played me. Good on you. You got a 16 year old virgin wolf to think you actually cared for a whole day, bravo. Now get the fuck out of my goddamn house!"

He's towering over me, glorious in his fury. Who is this man? My god, this has been hiding inside Embry all along. I'm enraged that he thinks that's what I've been doing, but I'm not even gonna lie, that outburst has me wet. "You think I used you? Fuck you! I know I was too goddamn scared say that I care, but if you think I would be that fucking open and vulnerable to someone I'm using then you're a goddamn retard. And I know I fucking fucked up at Billy's place, but I didn't realize you might be as scared as me, it shocked me, okay? Goddamn it, I care about you, I should have told you from the fucking get go, and I shouldn't have left you second guessing and I'm fucking sorry! But if you think I would ever, EVER do something so heinous to another person, especially after what happened with the douchenozzle who thinks he's god's gift then you're a fucking asshole. I would never do that to you, or anyone else, but especially you!" I'm panting, and just as worked up as he is.

He doesn't miss a beat, throwing his arms in the air. "Well what the hell was I supposed to think?"

His hands are back on his hips and now it's my turn to flail, only both my hands come straight off my hips and out to slap down on his chest, harder than I intended. "That I'm fucking terrified!"

His hands move to grab my shoulders, shaking me slightly and my eyes widen. "You think I'm not? You think I'm not terrified too Leah? Jesus, you're older, you're fucking gorgeous, you know what you're doing and I'm a fumbling, stupid teenager. You could imprint Leah, you could leave me. You might do it out of boredom, what the fuck about me is gonna keep you interested? You're not the only fucking one who's scared here, you know."

I close my eyes and take a shuddering breath, time to lay it all on the line. "I didn't realize Embry. I didn't even consider the possibility of me imprinting, okay? And I'm sorry I didn't consider your fears, but really, what's to stop you from walking away from me? You might imprint too! And you think I know what I'm doing? All I've ever known is how to be a doormat to that dirty whore's tampon of an Alpha we have, or how to be a heartless cunt to protect myself. I don't know what I'm doing anymore than you do. But when you defended me, stood up to him, the Alpha, for me? It took my breath away. I went into shock, I'll admit it. No one's ever made me feel so worth it Embry. But I gotta tell you, you're worth it too. So fucking worth it. And if you'll let me, I'll make sure you know it every day. I'm scared shitless at how fast I'm falling for you, but I trust you with all of me. I don't doubt you meant everything you said, about fighting the imprint, about wanting me. I would fight it to the death too Embry, because you're worth fighting for. You're worth it." He loosens his grip on my shoulders and slides his arms around me. I nuzzle my face into his chest, inhaling his scent and my lips begin to tremble. I almost fucked up and lost this before I had it. I can't help the tears that fall, the adrenaline rush from telling the cuntrag off, and then this little tête-à-tête has worn off and I collapse against him, quietly crying.

He rubs my hair, holding me to his chest as I let it all out. I'm shaking with my sobs now, it's too much. I haven't had anyone to hold me and let me cry since, well I can't remember when. It feels so fucking good to be taken care of. Then I hear his voice, soft yet strong. "It's okay Leah, I'm here. I'm here. You can cry all you need to with me. You can be scared and vulnerable and anything else with me, I'm not going to judge you or mock you. This is just you and me, you're safe here. Let it out baby." And I do, I sob for a good ten minutes pressed against this man…_my man_.

Suddenly the urge to tell him overwhelms me. I lean my head back and before I can scrub my eyes his hands are on my face, thumbs wiping the moisture. I press a quick kiss to his palm. "I'm here too Embry. And it's okay for me to be scared sometimes, but it's not okay for me to let my fear make you feel unsure of me. I'm here. I'm…I'm yours. If you still want me I'm yours. I want you to be mine too, I want you to be vulnerable with me. I'm going to do my damnedest to tell you what's going on in my head, my heart. I don't know where this is going, I'm sure fuckface the magnificent is going to make this as difficult as possible, but I'm in this, with you. I'll be there, beside you, holding your hand for as long as you'll have me." His eyes are closed, thumbs stroking my cheeks, fingers splayed on the sides of my head. His breathing is steady, but his heart is beating a mile a minute.

Suddenly his eyes open, and any of that anger and deadness is all replaced with warmth and happiness. He's smiling, for me. "Oh baby, how could I not want you? Jesus Leah, I think I've always wanted you, I just didn't know it. We have to do better though. We can't keep leaving each other guessing. The whole fucking world is out there trying to make this more difficult, we don't need to help them, okay?" He's slowly moved forward until our foreheads are pressed together. This is so much more intense than anything I've ever felt before.

I lean forward, my nose pressing against his and whisper against his lips, "Okay baby, I promise." And I can't take it anymore, I press my lips against his, needing to feel him. He moans softly against my lips and slides one hand down my spine to sit in the dip of my lower back, pressing me to him. The other tangles in my hair. I slide my hands up his chest and over his shoulders, wrapping myself around him, fingers playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. I think I hear a tiny growl and I smile slightly, pushing away from him despite his protests. "Sit down Embry, it's my turn to take care of you."

**EPOV**

I lean forward and place one more kiss on her swollen lips. I could kiss this woman forever. I look in her eyes and they are so deep, so warm, and so full of lust I stop breathing for a minute. Slowly sitting down I reach to pull off my t-shirt, but her hands stop me. "Let me Embry, let me show you just how much I want you." I settle into the mattress and lay my hands at my sides. Fuck me running, she slowly sinks to her knees, running her hands down my shoulders, chest, abdomen, finally resting on my thighs and she settles on the ground. Her hands slowly creep down to my legs, resting at my knees and she begins to knead her way up my thighs, inching bit by bit, moving inside my legs, then outside; teasing me. She's smirking a bit, and biting her lower lip. When Bella does that shit she looks like she's constipated, Leah? Leah looks like sin wrapped in caramel flesh. She leans a little closer and I catch a whiff of her wetness, fuck me on a bed of nails, she's got my cock so hard I can't see straight. That's all it takes, her biting her lip and the smell of her all wet and ready for me.

She flattens her hands and slides them, palm down up my legs and hips until they lay just under the hem of my shirt. "Do you want me to take your shirt off Embry? Can I see and touch your sexy chest?" Oh my Christ she's being coy and it's doing dirty, dirty things to me. I feel a rumbling in my chest, and it takes me a few seconds to realize I'm growling. I shake my head a bit and nod, completely incapable of making words. She keeps her hands flat and slides them up my stomach, occasionally gripping my muscles with her fingers. I'm panting, my mouth is hanging open and I'm not entirely sure my tongue isn't hanging out. I'm embarrassed for a moment, but then I look at her and she's panting too. Fuck. Touching me is driving her just as wild as touching her does to me.

She gets to my chest and quicker than I can blink she pinches both nipples and moves up to my shoulders. I gasp, but I'm not entirely sure that even happened. Holy shit she's good. "Arms up sexy, I want to see you naked, not as a wolf, but as a man…as my man." I raise my arms over my head while looking her in the eyes. Her man. God it's such a relief to hear her say that. That's all I want to be in this world. She runs her hands from my chest to my sides and takes the shirt with her as she moves them up my arms.

She moves to straddle me as she slowly lifts my shirt, she can't reach from the floor to get it off, and truth be told, I want her in my lap, so I'm not lowering my arms to help her. She scoots all the way forward, chest against mine, our bellies touching and bucks her hips against my cock as she flings the shirt across the room. "Someone thinks he's clever. Tell me this though sexy, how you gonna get me back down on my knees for you, since you figured out how to get me on your lap?" She's smiling deviously, and her eyes are so bright and playful. I want to take a fucking picture of her just like this. I smirk at her and crush her to me, kissing her with everything I have. I slide my tongue in her mouth and wrap it around hers, massaging, rubbing, exploring. Fuck, I almost lost this. My hands slide up her back and into her hair, holding her face to mine. She gently presses against my chest, pushing me back and sucking in a deep breath. I realize that I am having trouble breathing myself, and as she leans forward I grin at her, waiting for her lips on mine. She doesn't give me that though, instead she places her lips on my jaw and licks and nips her way to my neck, just behind my ear. I shudder and groan when she starts to whisper, "I wanna lick you all over, but I'm too impatient for your big, hot cock in my mouth. Lay back baby, you're not gonna be able to sit up by the time I'm done with you."

I slowly lay back, taking her with me, panting as I feel her tongue sweep across my neck, making its way to my Adam's apple. She circles it with her tongue and then wraps her lips around it, sucking and nipping, raking her teeth over it lightly. I buck my hips and call out her name, softly. She _tsks_ and mutters something about that not being good enough and me screaming her name and then sits up and pinches both my nipples. God she looks so good on top of me. She's still wearing her dress, but all I can think about is her riding me until we both explode. She gives my nipples one good tug and then starts sliding herself down my body. Fuck fuck fuck. She's rubbing herself slowly down my cock, and between her body and the fucking denim of my shorts I'm seconds away from busting a nut. I let out a pitiful sound as she swings her leg over me and kneels next to me on the bed. I don't want her next to me, I want her back on top of me, naked, riding me while screaming at the top of her lungs. No. We're not there yet. I don't want our first time to be some crazy make up fuck. I want…oooooh. I can't remember what I want because her fingers are running back and forth under the waistband of my shorts and she's tickling my short and curlies. Mary, Joseph and the screaming baby J help me not cum in my shorts again. I clamp my eyes shut, if I look at her while she's undressing me I'm gonna pop like a balloon. I can feel her unbuttoning my shorts and sliding the zipper down, tooth by tooth. She hums loudly and I crack my left eye to see her staring at my cock like it's Mecca.

I lift my hips and reach down to pull my shorts off since she's clearly preoccupied and suddenly she's slapping my hands away and yanking my shorts down in the blink of an eye. They're wherever my shirt went, and I couldn't give two flying fucks. Her hands are running up and down my thighs, over my hips and back down, never once touching my cock. I can't take it anymore. "Leah, Jesus, I thought you were gonna put my big hot cock in your mouth, not give me a thigh massage. I'm fucking dying here, please!" She just giggles and moves to straddle my thighs.

She runs her fingers up into my man bush and strokes my skin. Just as I'm about to beg again she leans forward a bit and opens her mouth. As she slowly moves her mouth towards my dick she grabs it in her hand and gives it a good squeeze causing me to choke out a noise I can't even describe she whispers, "You don't have to beg me Embry, all you have to do is ask." And then I can't even breath, her hot, wet mouth is on my cock and I buck my hips without realizing it. She yanks her head back a bit as she gags, oh fuck! She's a little spluttery, and her eyes are watering. I open my mouth to apologize, shit I feel so bad but before I can say anything she's speaking. "Holy shit Embry, I'm fine, but I wasn't joking, that is a fucking baby arm. I've only ever, well, I wasn't just being cruel to him at Billy's. You're hung like a goddamn horse. Just let me adjust and I'll have you screaming my name in no time." I can only nod as she slides the head between her lips and does this crazy shit with her tongue, my god, it's like she's got more than one in her mouth. _Don't cum like a punk. Don't cum like a punk_. She's bobbing on me now, and every time she goes down a bit further, taking a little more of me in her mouth. Jesus this woman is so good for my ego. I look up to see her sliding up and down, and I have to give her credit, she's getting more than half way down each time and then she pulls out all the stops, bringing her hand up to stroke what she's not swallowing.

I'm moaning and panting, I can't make words but I can't stop the noises coming from my mouth. She looks me in the eye and starts to hum and moan around my nob, sucking her cheeks in while taking it to the back of her throat, over and over and that's it, I'm done for. I slam my fists into the bed and scream out her name, feeling myself swell just a bit more and then I'm cumming, so much, so hard, so intense that I can't even see straight. It dawns on me I should have warned her, and I feel like a dick until I feel her swallow around my shaft and I realize she doesn't mind one bit. She keeps sucking, softer and slower now, and when I can't help but shudder and try to roll over she releases me and looks up with a smile.

She has her hands splayed on my stomach, and though she's completely turned me into Jell-o I muster all my strength and haul her up the length of my body to lay on my chest. I tuck her head against my shoulder and kiss her hair. "God Leah, there are no words. You're amazing baby. That? Fuck, that was so good. I should return the favor, just give me a minute to be able to move."

She stops me, putting her finger over my lips. "No Embry, that was just for you. Today was about you. Later, later we can rock each other's worlds, for now, let's just lay here together." She's stroking my chest, and I'm petting her arm. This is nice, so nice. I could spend all day like this, but apparently that's not how shit's supposed to go down. My phone beeps, and then again before I have a chance to grab it. I knock around the night stand, feeling without looking until my fingers wrap around the phone and I pull it to me. I glance at it, I have a text from Jared and a text from Quil. Both of them are letting me know that Leah has patrol tonight, alone, and then we both have the next two days off. Thank god for small favors.

I drop my phone on the bed and wrap my other arm around her. "You have patrol in an hour. We're off for the next two days after that. No one's gonna be patrolling with you, but if you want me to I can come along."

She snuggles into me and sighs. "No, I'm good. As long as the pickle dick won't be there I'll be fine. And we've got the next two days to spend together. You need some sleep Embry, I can tell you're exhausted." She runs her fingers up my neck to my head and slides them through my hair. Five minutes go by, us just touching each other and she stops, clears her throat and breaks the silence. "What did you mean when you said you had to pack? Where are you going?" Fuck.

Well, here goes nothing. I take a deep breath. "Nowhere, Leah. I'm not going anywhere, but if you're asking what I was thinking, well…I was going to leave. I was going to the Makah res. I've never belonged here, never. And, well, I was wrong, but when I thought what I thought, it was the last straw. I'm not going now though, I have you and I'm not going anywhere." She snuggles into me and nothing more needs to be said.

We stay like that for ten minutes, and I'm nearly asleep when she kisses my cheek and moves to get off the bed. "I have to go patrol Embry, and I need to stop by my house first. I'm coming back here after patrol, and when I wake up we'll do something fun, just you and me, okay?" I hum and nod my head, too tired for anything else.

I have no clue what time it is, but my phone is ringing, jarring me awake. How long have I been out? I reach around the bed until I find it and drag it to my ear, my voice hazy with sleep. "Hello?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey all, if you haven't done so go check out Shelbysue's Eddie/Bella one shot called "Definition of Irony". Even though it pains me to admit, it's a hot one shot and I hate Eddie. It's only one of two Edward stories I enjoy. The other being "Confessions of a Difficult Woman" featuring Leah/Ed which is a multi-chapter fic. It's one of my utter faves. Now if you go read them, leave a REVIEW homies. Like duh.**

I walk Shelby Sue to her small apartment on the other side of the lodge. I like how she keeps it sort of separated from the rooms. I make my way back to our room but stop when I reach the pool. I sit on one of the chaises, it groans under my weight.

I mumble to myself, "What if she's awake?" Are we going to talk about how we're suppose to make babies and save the world with her by my side? Yeah, that might cross over the friendship line she drilled into the sand for us. I drop my head into my hands. After a short time I get up, looking around to make sure I am out here by myself. I strip down to my boxers and dive into the cool water of the pool. A hot mineral bath might soak away Bells' worries but a cool dip helps me with mine.

The prophecy? What a load of leech manure. Wait, do they even shit? I shake my head and try to get back on track. I mean, I've loved Bells since we were kids. Sure it was a different love from what I feel now but it was love nonetheless. Then she moved back and I was just blown away. She hadn't visited Charlie for a few years. When we dropped off the truck and I saw her? God, my heart just raced and I knew then it would only beat for Bella for the rest of my days.

I swim a few laps trying to clear my head. I finally just float on my back staring up at the stars in the sky. She still has no clue how beautiful she is. Her pale skin glows in both the sun and the moon. Her pink lips aren't overly ripe but have a hint of poutiness going on. Her hair? God, her hair makes my wet dreams mini pornos as I imagine those silky strands wrapped against my dick as she deep throats me. I bite back a groan as Jakey Junior starts to wake up. I reach down and give myself a firm squeeze. He chills out. Her eyes are what truly make me fall deeper and deeper in love with her each time I see her. No matter what bullshit she tries to sell to me or herself, her eyes can never back up her lies. I see every single thing she's feeling in them. If she marries that fucker and he turns her? I'll lose her forever. Every annoyance, joy, pain and all other feelings will just die along with her. I feel tears prickling the back of my eyes and flip over to my stomach to swim a few more laps. I finally drag myself out of the pool to flop down on the same chaise and it's not happy I'm back. I lean over and search for my phone in my jeans pocket.

I pull it out and dial *67 before his number. I cringe when I see it's almost three in the morning here which means it's almost two in La Push. Whatever. He'll get over it. He's good like that.

His voice is gruff with sleep when he answers, _"Hello?" _I can hear the _Who the fuck is this?_ in his tone.

I speak quietly knowing her can hear me, "Hey Em."

I guess he wasn't expecting me to call because he drops the phone. I can hear him fumbling about, stubbing his toe and cursing me to hell. He finally has the damned thing again, _"Jake? Jake where the fuck are? What the fuck are you doing? Why the fuck are you calling me this late? What..."_ He pauses to catch his breath. His voice is calm when he speaks again, _"What's good?"_

His tone is so nonchalant that I burst out laughing. There's my boy. I lean back rubbing some of the water off my face. "I can't tell you. Look, I'm sorry dude. My dad...well he told me that shit's hectic up there."

He lets out a low whistle, _"Bro, you have no idea. Hey, wait. You called Billy? That's what the meeting was about?"_

I tell him I guess so. "Wait, why wouldn't you know what the meeting's about? Weren't you there?"

He takes a deep breath before blurting out, _"Um no, see the thing is, well me and Leah kind of hooked up after some shit that went down the other night and well Sam's not too happy about it. Actually he's being a leech-fucking douche about it so I kind of bounced when he said some things and Leah was looking at me all weird and not giving me 100% after I laid it all out for her and went down on her..."_

I cut him off, "You went where on who?" Yeah, yeah I want the deets on the other stuff but fuck me up the ass, he said he went down on Leah.

He curses and explains everything that's gone on the past few days in La Push. I growl when he tells me what Paul said. Yeah, I know Leah can be a black degree cunt sometime but that shit isn't cool. She's been through so much and sometimes I think she's the only one that can relate to me and what I go through with Bells. I shake my head when Seth failed to stand up for her yet again. I don't even realize I'm up pacing around the pool until he shocks me and tells me that Seth had beat Paul's ass. That little tidbit almost has me falling into the pool. Thank goodness for werewolf reflexes. I feel a surge of pride at my dad standing up for Leah and not letting Sam abuse his authority.

Something flows through me then. How dare that cunt donkey try to abuse his position as Alpha! How dare he try to keep Leah under his thumb so he can feed his ego! I growl and Em's telling me to calm down. That it's all been taken care of somewhat. I smile at the evident joy in his voice when he lets me know that he's with Leah and she's with him. Holy shit, my boy got himself a girl, wait correction, a woman. Then it gets me thinking about how Sam isn't going to let this shit fly. It's one thing if he thinks they're just messing around but Em used the girlfriend word. He wouldn't have used it unless Leah was totally down.

I cut off his girly _Teenbeat_ moment, "Embry? Listen, I don't give a fuck what Sam says. You don't have to listen to him about Leah. No matter what dirty tricks he tries or if he tries to go around my dad. You do not listen to him."

Embry's voice is tense when he answers me, "_Like I have a choice Jake if he Alpha orders me or her. Like, what can we do? Run away like you?"_

Fuck, that hurts. I want to tell him everything but I know now is not the time. Then I feel something surge through me. I can feel myself get taller, bigger, more powerful. A knowledge courses through me. My voice is deeper when I speak, "Embry Call, I am telling you when it comes to your relationship with Leah, you do not listen to Sam."

His voice comes out strangled, "_Jake? What...how are you doing that?"_

I know what he's asking. I just Alpha commanded him. I sigh as I look towards the direction of the front office. Shelby Sue is standing there, her robe fluttering around in the small breeze. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath before answering my friend. "You tell Sam when I get home, and yes it will be soon; you tell him when I get home I'm Alpha. He can either step down or I'll take him down. Either way I'll be taking my rightful place."

His voice is full of awe, _"Holy fuck Jake, this just might make him flip his grill. Damn, Leah's going to trip dude."_ He asks me where I'm at again and how soon will I be back in Forks. He also asks about Bella without any malice, just curiosity. I am thankful for that. He knows how much I love her even if he doesn't understand it.

Shelby Sue just stands there watching me. I know I have to wrap this up. I know that when I hang up on Embry, we're going somewhere. Another step to climb but I'm more than willing. Fucking eager even. I tell Embry, "Bells? She's finding her way bro. Just like I am. Look, I have to go. Something just came up..."

He interjects, "At two in the morning? Like what? Strippers?"

I laugh, "No dipshit. Look, I have a lot to tell you and the pack but not now. Not 'til we get back home. Bells is important dude for more than we ever thought possible. But I meant what I said Em. You and Leah? That's solid from what you've shared with me. I won't let Sam try to fuck it up for you. So yeah, don't listen to him. You know what I'm saying?" I don't want to say the word yet. Not in regards to myself.

He seems to understand. He gives me a quick yet firm yes but is nervous about Leah after all I only ordered him. I ask when is the next time he's going to see her and he tells me in the morning after patrol. I promise to call him then to speak to her. He's grateful. We tell each other to take care and disconnect. I walk over to Shelby Sue after gathering my things. She gives my body an appreciative once over. I stand in front of her, "I'm ready."

She nods, smiling, "I know."

Check out my one shot, **Who Needs Catnip when you have a Wolf?**


	14. Chapter 14

I follow Shelby Sue to her room. She opens the door and tells me to wait while she changes. The place is cozy. I can't help but smile when I see that she has quite the collection of Quileute works of art, ranging from throws to a few urns. I pick one up and almost drop it. That's my mom's signature on the bottom. _Sarah Bl__a__ck_. I recognize the fluid handwriting. There are a couple of her pieces around the house.

"She was very talented. I have a few more of her pieces back home in La Push." I don't say anything. I can't say anything. She places a hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing. "It's okay to miss her."

I blink back tears. I nod while trying not to let them fall. I miss her so much and I barely remember her. How much more hurt am I expected to take? "I'm afraid...I'm afraid when she leaves me it will hurt so much more because I'll remember. Her laugh. Her smell. Her stupid blush. My mom is a memory. It's..."

I finally break down. I let go of everything that I've been holding in and she lets me. She murmurs quietly as she rubs my back. I just drop to my knees and brace my forehead against the tiled floor. Finally the sobs stop. I suck back my snot and get to my feet. Shelby Sue says nothing as she walks to her fridge. She throws me a bottle of water. "Wait here while I go change."

I stupidly ask, "You're not going like that? Wait, where are we going?"

She smirks at me, "Honey, I don't think it's real practical of me to go fumbling around the desert in my Frederick's of Hollywood robe and nightie. I'll be real quick, promise." She comes back out dressed in a pair of jeans, long sleeved shirt and some boots that have some wear and tear. She grabs her keys, shoves a few things she takes from the kitchenette into her purse that drapes across her torso and I follow her out the front door. The pick up's doors are unlocked. We get on and she peels out of the parking lot. Fuck, she can give Quil a run for his money with her lead foot. We're leaving civilization behind us as the buildings get sparser and the land becomes dominant. Yeah, it's not the trees and lushness of La Push but there's just something about it.

She suddenly jerks the steering wheel to the right and we're fucking off-roading now. I watch as the wheels kick up the sand and whatnot of the earth below us. I suddenly find myself fidgety, longing to phase and feel the sand beneath my paws. Almost as suddenly the car comes to a stop and she throws it in park to turn off the engine.

"We'll walk from here." She hops out and I follow suit. The air smells different yet the spice and fragrance of earth is similar. I just take it all in for a moment until I hear her again. "Wanna race towards that mountain Alpha? I can see you're itching to phase."

I look in the direction she's motioning towards. It's a good 2 miles away and hell yeah, I'm itching to but that wouldn't be fair to her. "Yeah but how's th...holy fuck."

She takes off running as fast as I do when phased. I curse as I flick off my flip flops and try to shove my jeans and boxers down my muscular thighs. I trip and almost land on my face but due to pure wolf awesomeness, I manage to turn it into a front flip, leaving my boxers on my left leg and phase immediately. I let out a howl which earns me a hearty laugh instead.

I immediately think to myself, _"Cheater."_

Then get the shock of my still relatively young life when Shelby Sue's voice is in my head, _"No you're just a sucker for a girl with big boobs."_ I laugh and feel more of the tension leave me as I catch up to her. We run making small rodents and creatures scatter as the thunder of my paws hit the ground. A snake hisses at her as she jumps out of its reach. The mountain's right before us as we slow down. _"You might want to phase back."_

I nod my massive snout but she's already walking ahead. I phase back and shove my right leg into my boxers. Okay, they're more than a little gross but I am not free balling it so I make do. I hurry after Shelby Sue and we hike along this mountain. Doesn't feel like we're going up but when I look down I see we've gone up a ways. Then the land levels out and there's the mouth of a cave off to the left, almost hidden by some brush.

Shelby Sue hands me a bottle of water she takes out of her bag. I take a few gulps before handing it back and she doing the same. She puts it away and tells me to follow her. The cave is dark but with my heightened senses it's not a big deal. The sound of falling water fills the cavernous space. "What's that?"

She just looks at me over her shoulder smiling, "The way to the other world." There's a dim light coming up. Soon enough the long tunnel we've been walking through for the last half hour opens up and a gasp escapes my lips. Shelby Sue sighs in contentment at the sight before us, "It's beautiful isn't it?"

Beautiful is not even the word. Beautiful is what Bells looked like when we went to that club in Anaheim. Beautiful is what my mother's artwork is. This place is...magnificent. Dazzling. Picturesque. And a whole load of other SAT words I'll never know. There's a small waterfall going over some jutted rocks on one side that spill into a small pool but I can tell it's a heated spring because of the steam that's rising off the water. Stalactites and stalagmites decorate and brighten the large space in an vast array of colors that should be ugly but are jaw dropping. How I even know those words are all due to Bells and her never-ending attempts to make this little endeavor of ours educational along with tension filled. "It's not even the word."

Shelby Sue laughs softly. I look around some more and now start to notice smaller details such as the lit torch on the wall. I also see some human items such as a small pot over what can only be a cooking hole and some mugs and other utensils. I look back at Shelby Sue. "Can others find this place?" The very thought of some random hikers disturbing the very essence of this sacred place pisses me off.

"No. It is hidden from their mortal eyes. There are places such as this all over this great planet. Places that are so pure and unpolluted by current times that they're invisible to the common eye. The fact that you were able to see the opening just proves to me what I already knew. That you are the true Alpha."

I groan, "Here we go again with that. Sam's..." I don't get to finish because she cuts me off.

Her voice is on edge, "He is Alpha simply because he phased first and you've been too much of a fucking girl to step up. Just like you were too much a bitch to stay in La Push and fight for her. No, you decided to run away with your fucking tail between your hind legs."

I get right in her face, "Hey fuck you. If you would hold off for a goddamn minute you would have heard me say he's Alpha until I get back and take my rightful place. And I'm not anybody's bitch." I feel that rush of whatever flow through me again.

Her eyes widen and she just starts to laugh. I mean tears rolling down her face, clutching her stomach laughing. She manages to get it together enough to snort out, "Except Bella's."

The growl that erupts from my chest is expected but the laugh that follows is not. Soon we're both laughing like we're high on that special dentist juice. Our laughs die down and I realize we're on the ground. I get to my feet and help her up. She brushes some dirt off her plump rump. Se pats my cheek. "Oh sweet boy, you're really it."

I don't know what to say to that. I can take it at face value but I know she means something else. I instead ask, "How come I was able to order Em earlier?"

She rolls her eyes. "Because you're the true Alpha and even though Sam is the acting one right now, Embry's wolf knows whose orders to truly follow. Now get in the pool while I prepare what you'll need to go over to the other world."

I gulp, "Um, what I'll need? Aren't you coming too?" Fuck, yeah I'm going to be, or already am, sort of Alpha, but I sure as hell don't want to travel over to the spirit world all by my lonesome.

She rolls her eyes once more. We are going to have to have a serious convo about that. Maybe later. "I don't need any assistance of going over. You being human will."

Yeah, I forget she's a spirit and not human. I step into the hot water and feel myself start to relax. Okay maybe Bells is onto something with these hot baths. It's about 4 feet deep but I can see that the water darkens towards the middle of the pool. So it's deeper over there. I am surprised to find there's a bench protruding out from the stone. It's too rugged to have been done by hand. I sit back letting my head fall back to rest against the wall.

I watch as she drops her bag onto a flat surface that she seems to use as a table. She whips off her shirt, leaving her in a tank. She pulls things out of the bag and finds a mug. She looks over to the cooking hole and I almost jump when I see a fire start under the hanging pot. Instead, I sit up straighter and watch as she chants quietly under her breath. She walks over to where the water falls and fill the mug. She pours the water into the pot and drops some what looks like to be honey into the pot. Then she pulls out a small baggie of what looks like to be small cut up pieces of a plant? She shoves the baggie into her pocket and uses her hands to move across the top of the pot where steam is starting to rise. It looks like she's moving the tendrils of smoke with her fingers. I am now sitting upright, posture as straight as that fucking douche of a fiancé named Edward. I blink when I see a wolf in the smoke. I almost cry out when I see what flittingly looks like Bells but it's gone before I can make sure. Then her hands still and she grabs a ladle to pour out the liquid into the mug.

She makes her way over to me holding out the mug. I take a sniff and the liquid smells bitter yet sweet. "What is that?"

She answers directly, "Peyote tea with some honey to help cut down on the bitterness of the cacti."

I take the mug, "Peyote?"

The corners of her mouth start to lift in a slight smirk. "Yes, it's a cacti found in Texas that has...hmm, special powers."

I take a tentative sip and almost spit the shit back out but force myself to swallow. "The honey doesn't really help. What do you mean powers?"

She clicks her teeth, "Not really powers but more like hallucinogenic effects. People use it to trip but we're using it to help you achieve that special place of consciousness that will make it easier for me to take you to the Spirit world."

I force down some more, "You're getting me high?"

She nods happily, "Yep. Drink up now." She walks away and I swear her chanting starts up again but it's louder. More musical and wow are those rainbows shooting out of her fingers now? I try to sip the brew in the mug while trying to catch the rainbow like she's the motherfucking Lucky Charms' leprechaun. I laugh. Or snort. Or maybe purr. Not sure but holy fuck am I loopy.

_"Shhh...young Alpha...shh..."_ More words in Quileute but not the language I know. Older. Ancient.

My eyes close as the mug drops from my hands. There's no splash but I hear it hit the ground. The sound is muted. I open my eyes and we're back in La Push but it's not La Push. There are trees, so many lush trees that it makes my heart ache to be back home. The ground is moss covered and I squat down to pick up the mug but it's not there.

_"Come with me Jacob."_ Her voice is soothing yet strong. Commanding. I turn in the direction it comes from and lose my breath.

_**Check out my new fic. Exprint: The Antonym of Imprinting. It's a Leah/Sam witha little Jake/Bells thrown in the mix. **_


	15. Chapter 15

I stand there, blinking stupidly at the sight before me. Holy fuck, she's amazing.

Standing before me is Shelby Sue but not Shelby Sue. She's tall, almost as tall as that giraffe we saw on that field trip back in elementary school down in Seattle that one weekend. But where a giraffe is slender, this form of Shelby Sue is awe inspiring.

She's massive yet elegant. She has a wolf's head that seems to be smirking at me right now. Her fur is brown tinged with hot pink at the tip of her ears and around at the ends of her snout. The fur travels down her chest but fades away to her brown scales that shine with a pink iridescent hue. Her haunches are massive and I know if I piss her off she could probably eat me in a gulp without chewing. Her talons are that same hot pink color along with the tip of her wolf tail. Her wings? Good god dude, they're gorgeous. Brown and look to be paper thin but cartilage part is hot pink as well. She's fucking bad ass dude. A fucking wolf dragon and she's my homie.

She's way cooler than any CGI special effects dragon in any movie ever. Even better looking than the dragon things in the blue people movie by James Cameron. I look at her, hands on hips and wink. "Hey good looking."

Her head turns to the left as if appraising me. Her brown as the wet earth eyes outlined in hot pink with matching lashes. Wicked. Then her mouth/jaws of death open and I get to hear a dragon laugh for the first time on my life. Awesome.

_"Oh sweet boy, you really do __know __how to warm my heart. Follow me, my brothers await us." _

I follow because, seriously, am I going to refuse to comply? No way. The trees are huge and so green it seems fake. We walk in silence but I think about different things. Like can she fly? If she can, will she take me for a ride? What kind of dragons are her brothers? And number one, can she spit fire?

She pauses when we reach a clearing. She snorts as if insulted and looks up before a 6 foot flame shoots out of her jaws. I fucking fist pump like she's a real life Bakugan character. "Goddamn that's wicked!"

We continue to walk as the trees get more and more sparse. The grass is lush under my feet as we approach a group of rock formations that are...holy shit! They're fucking thrones. Dude, what the hell was in that tea?

Even from this distance I can see that 2 of the 4 thrones are occupied. The closer we get, I can see just how colossal they are. Two other dragon creatures are sitting them. Their heads turn in our general direction. My steps falter.

_"Do not fear. They are my brothers and will not harm you."_

Yeah, that's not really helping with my unease but hey, whatever. I walk beside Shelby Sue. We reach the others and she sits in one of the empty thrones. I look at the empty one which has cobwebs and seems to have seen better days.

I turn back to the other two dragons and just stare. One is part bear. He's even bigger than Shelby Sue. Black as night with red outlining his black eyes. That and the white of his eyes are the only things that aren't black on him. I look at the other dragon who is all dragon. He's not mixed with any other animal. He's even bigger than the other two. A deep green that seems to make the grass below his paws seem almost dingy. Goddamn, what's in the water here?

The pure dragon speaks first, _"My name is Crispin. This is my brother Nigel and you've met Genevieve."_

I look at Shelby Sue, "Genevieve?"

Crispin laughs out loud as well as in my head. _"Ah yes, that's her birth name. I know she likes to go by that other name nowadays but she will always be Genevieve in my heart."_

Shelby Sue snorts. Small tendrils of smoke drifting from her nostrils, _"Oh stuff it Crispy."_

Once more my eyes fall to the empty throne. The surplus throne. It just seems so odd yet I can tell it is of importance. Crispin addresses me once more, _"That is the throne of our other brother. He left this world to join the mortal realm. He hungered for power and wealth. No longer satisfied by our way of life which seeks balance and nature."_

His voice is heavy, as if the betrayal of their other brother, is all on his shoulders. Shelby Sue makes her way over to him, nudging his body with her head. She takes a nip of his shoulder which makes him swat at her. Her voice is tender, _"Dearest Crispy, you know it was not your fault. He was always gluttonous, egotistical and...well just an all around douche."_

Nigel replies dryly, _"Sweet sister, you truly do have a way with words."_ Shelby Sue curtsies. Well, I think it's a curtsey but she's a flipping dragon so, hey, I might be wrong.

I turn my attention back to Crispin who's staring dead at me. His voice is regal, majestic and chills me to the bones. _"Aro."_ I gasp, taking a staggering step backwards. _"Aro is our traitorous brother."_

_**I know it's short but it's a good set up for the next update. Real life is kicking my ass right now between work (yay me!), college and my family. Updates are going to be whenever I get a chance to write and I'm letting you know now, it's not often. Thanks for your patience and support. My beta and I have not forgotten or given up on this fic. **_


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